For some time, my wife’s had this ridiculous idea that I’m playing too much golf. Actually, it came to a head at about 11.30 last night. She suddenly shouted at me, “Golf, golf, golf. All you ever think about is bloody golf!”
And I’ll be honest, it frightened the life out of me. I mean, you don’t expect to meet somebody on the 14th green at that time of night.
Explanation: The joke sets up the idea that the husband is obsessed with golf. His wife yells at him late at night, suggesting he’s always thinking about it. The punchline flips expectations: he’s not just thinking about golf, he’s actually playing it at 11:30 p.m., making the situation hilariously absurd.
A man was marooned on a desert island.
One day a beautiful woman arrives in a wet suit.
“When did you last have a smoke?” she asks. “Five years ago.” So she gets out a cigar and he smokes it.
She unzips her wet suit a bit and says, “When did you last have a drink?” He said, “Five years ago.” So she gets out a bottle of Scotch and he has a drink.
Then she unzips her wet suit a bit more and says, “And when was the last time you played around?”
He looks at her in amazement and says, “You’re not telling me you’ve got a set of golf clubs in there?”
Explanation: This joke plays on a double meaning of the phrase “play around.” The woman uses it as a suggestive euphemism for s*x, but the man who clearly misses golf more than anything else, interprets it literally as playing a round of golf. His innocent response creates the unexpected and humorous punchline.
