There’s something about grown-ups gathered around smoky grills that turns a normal cookout into a roast of its own. Between flipping burgers and refilling drinks, someone always dares to drop a few Dirty BBQ Jokes, and suddenly the mood shifts from mild to wildly funny faster than the coals catch fire.
Once the plates are loaded and the sun starts to set, the real stories come out. Dirty BBQ Jokes sneak into the chat like secret spices, making everyone laugh so hard they forget whose turn it was to bring the buns. It’s half food, half comedy show, and fully worth the mess.
Adult Barbecue Jokes
Invited my erect*le dysfunction support group over for a BBQ,
Nobody came.
Why aren’t people allowed to BBQ naked in hot, dry climates?
High risk of Bush fires.
Johnny was at a family barbecue yesterday night and his great grandma started giggling.
When he asked her what was so funny, she said, “Everyone here is alive because I got laid.”
My husband makes THE BEST barbecue.
… It’s too bad he didn’t have more meat on him.
A husband exclaims to his wife one day, “Your b*tt is getting really big. It’s bigger than the BBQ grill!” Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. “What’s wrong?” he asks. She answers, “Do you really think I’m going to fire up this big-a$$ grill for one little ween*e?”
What does a c@nnibal bring to a barbecue?
Brats!
How is s*x like pizza?
If you’re going to use barbecue sauce, you better know what the f*ck you’re doing.
What do people in Al@bama call a family barbecue?
An 0rgy.
A filthy rich Florida man decided he wanted to throw a party and invited all his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a great time—drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters, and BBQ, and flirting with all the women.
At the height of the party, the host said, “I have a 10-foot man-eating gator in my pool, and I’ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the nerve to jump in.”
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash.
Everyone turned and saw Leroy in the pool! Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass—jabbing it in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, headb*tts, and chokeholds, biting the gator on the tail, and flipping it through the air like some kind of judo instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally, Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a dime-store goldfish. Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody just stared at him in disbelief.
Finally, the host said, “Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars.”
“No, that’s okay. I don’t want it,” said Leroy.
The rich man replied, “Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?”
“No thanks, I don’t want it,” answered Leroy.
The host insisted, “Come on, I have to give you something! That was amazing! How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?”
Again, Leroy said no.
Confused, the rich man asked, “Well, Leroy, then what do you want?”
Leroy said, “I want the name of the sumbich who pushed me in the pool!”
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Why don’t midgets like barbecues?
because the steaks are too high.
Two cannibals are having a BBQ, one turns to the other and says, “I can’t stand Elon Musk…”
His buddy replies, “Well, just eat the vegetables then!”
Why didn’t Walter white invite Gus to his family barbecue?
Because it was Whites only.
Little Johnny’s dad is cooking venison on the BBQ. His sister says, “Daddy, that smells amazing, what kind of meat is that?”
Dad says, “Here’s a bit, try it. Here is a clue, it is something Mummy calls me every day.”
Johnny exclaimed, “OMG, Sally, spit it out, it’s an a$$hole!”
What do you call a BBQ full of wiggers?
Limp Brizket.
I’m more of a cat person than a dog person.
But with enough BBQ sauce, they’re both delicious.
Why are Vietnamese barbecues so tasty?
N@palm really brings out the flavor.
Jake and Dave were on a camping trip. On the last day of their trip, they couldn’t decide what to do. Jake wanted to go to the beach, and Dave wanted to go hiking. So they split up for the day.
They met back up late at night at camp. Jake was like “Dude, my day was AWESOME! I went to the beach, and there was this college volleyball team practicing all in the nude! They asked me to judge their games, and I had the best time! We had a BBQ afterwards. It was great! How was your day?”.
Dave answered, “Well, I went for a hike in the woods. At some point, I reached some train tracks and decided to walk along them. And I stumbled on a woman tied to the tracks. I untied her, and we had sex all day! I f*cked her from the front and from the back, and I had some t*tty f*ck too!”.
Jake asked, “Did she blow you?”.
Dave replied, “Nope, I couldn’t find her head.”
Where are g@y people going to celebrate July 4th?
At LGBBQs.
My girlfriend was disgusted when she found out I m@sturbate with barbecue sauce as lube. I asked her what I should use instead…
She recommended I start with a dry rub.
What do you call an intimate evening with movies on demand and barbecue?
Netflix and grill.
A couple of cannibals meet one day, and the first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender missionary. I’ve baked them, roasted them, stewed them, and barbecued them. I’ve tried every sort of marinade, and I just cannot seem to get them tender.”
The second cannibal asks, “What kind of missionary do you use?” The other replies, “You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist, and they’re sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”
“Ah, ha!” the second cannibal replies. “No wonder… those are friars!”
What did the male steak say to the female BBQ?
“Hey Grill!”
Simon, Theodore, and Alvin were barbecued today…
They were chipmunks roasting over an open fire.
What does a BBQ pit master do in his free time?
He rubs his meat.
An orthodox rabbi and a Catholic priest are having lunch together.
They chat about various things and enjoy their meals, when the priest turns to the rabbi and says, “I’ve always wondered. Have you ever broken the rules of your faith and eaten pork?”
“Yes,” the rabbi admits. “I was going for a walk one day when I walked past what I believe is called a ‘barbecue pit’. The smell of the roasting animal was too good to resist and I went in and had a bite.”
The priest leans in conspiratorially. “Pretty good, isn’t it?”
“Yes, it was delicious, but my Lord has forbidden me to eat pigs, no matter how scrumptious they are. I hope He will forgive me this transgression. Now you tell me, have you ever broken the rules of your faith and had sex?”
“I have,” admits the priest. “I was walking through the city one night when I suddenly felt an inexplicable urge to enter a house of ill repute. There I met a young lady, who gave me what I believe is called a ‘blowjob’ until I spilled my seed all over her face.”
The rabbi leans in conspiratorially. “A lot better than pork, isn’t it?”
How do you know you’re at a g@y BBQ?
All the hot dogs taste like sh*t.
Jeffrey Dahmer and Jim Jones decide to have a community barbecue.
Dahmer: “I’ll bring the meat!”
Jones: “I’ll bring the kool aid!”
What can you say at a Barbecue and a family reunion?
This would be better if you were alive.
A man walks into a restaurant at lunchtime and is accosted by three women at the door – one Chinese, one Japanese, and one Korean.
“Hey, guy! Try the barbecue pork fried rice! Number one dish!” proclaims the Chinese woman.
“No, no, you want the unagi udon! Best taste!” yells the Japanese woman in reply.
“Aish! Pork rice unagi udon all so-so!” scoffs the Korean woman. “Handsome man eat kimchi wrap, most delicious!”
The three women start to bicker amongst themselves about which dish is the best while the man slips past and over to the counter to wait to be seated. Once the waiter has approached and ushered him to his seat, he asks what the deal is with the women at the door.
“Oh, them?” laughs the waiter. “Don’t worry too much about them, they’re just the RecommendAsians.”
Why wasn’t The Dictator invited to the BBQ?
Because he always burns the franks.
Ever had North Korean BBQ?
You stand outside and watch as everyone else eats.
What’s the best barbecue in history?
1942.
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Clinton, Obama, Bush, Biden, and Trump all went to play golf together.
After a great game, they went for some beers and food.
When they were seated in the restaurant, Clinton ordered some BBQ ribs and told the waitress a BJ joke. Obama, who had ordered a tofu burger, got all outraged at Clinton for sexualizing the waitress. Bush ordered chicken-fried steak and kept his mouth shut.
After Obama forced Clinton to apologize, the waitress turned to Trump and asked him what he wants to eat.
“I’ll have a YUUUGGEEE T-bone steak,” says Trump. “T for Trump! Medium rare!”
“OK,” says the waitress. “And what about the vegetable?”
Trump looks over at Biden and says, “Ah, just bring him some chicken tenders and an ice cream cone.”
Have you heard of that new restaurant, Auschwitz?
People say that it has great barbecue, but the ventilation inside is so poor.
What do you call it when North Korea hits South Korea with a nuke?
A Korean BBQ.
Went to a vegan BBQ
Everyone there thought the Vegan was overcooked.
Do you have a dirty BBQ joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
