Pizza nights for adults often turn into lively stories where the cheese stretches farther than anyone’s patience. One friend always claims to know the secret behind the perfect slice, while another insists the crust holds deep life lessons. The whole group nods along as if they are attending a serious meeting, even though everyone knows they are here only for the warm comfort of a guilty treat.
Those same gatherings spark talk about Dirty Pizza Jokes, the kind whispered with guilty smiles when the toppings start sliding in suspicious ways. Someone always brings up Pizza jokes at the worst moment, and the whole table loses control. The fun grows louder, the stories get wilder, and the night ends with everyone laughing harder than they expected.

Adult Pizza Jokes

How is a gynaecologist like a pizza delivery boy?
They both get close enough to smell it, but if they eat it, they’ll be fired.

Adult stars are poorer than we think.
When is the last time you saw one able even to afford a pizza?!

An ambulance is like a pizza delivery.
If they’re late, the delivery ends up cold.

What was WTC’s last pizza order?
2 large planes.

Pizza Guy: “Your total is $26.34.”
Girl: “I can’t afford that.”
Pizza Guy: “Well, you’ll have to pay some other way.”
Girl [takes out wallet] “Wait, I forgot I had 30 dollars.”
Corn director: “Cut! The f*ck are you doing?”

What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Nik’s pizza is burnt, his beer is frozen, and his girlfriend is pregnant…
…He can’t pull anything out in time!

Jeffrey Dahmer had a pizza in the fridge with a bunch of human noses on it.
It was a Dahmer nose pizza.

What is the preferred pizza for epileptic dwarfs?
Little Seizures.

Recommended: Pizza Jokes

Bob and his wife decided to go on a diet.
After weeks of strictly sticking to their diet, Bob’s wife suggested a cheat day.
She brought home a large pizza, a box of donuts, and some chicken wings.
Bob brought home a hot blonde with a great figure.
From his hospital bed, Bob thought about how men will never understand women.

Our local pizza guy has been arrested for selling drugs…
I have been a loyal customer for years. I honestly had no idea he was selling pizzas.

Did you hear Mike Tyson was just arrested for nearly beating a Pizza Hut waitress to death?
As he was finishing eating, she asked, “Hey, mister, you wanna box for the rest of your pizza?”

What’s the hardest part of making a vegan pizza?
Skinning the vegan.

If you serve your kids frozen pizza or chicken nuggets for tea you are a terrible parent.
I don’t care how busy you are, find the time to microwave them first at least.

How do you get a philosophy major off of your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

A woman I work with locked me in her basement for two months once and used me as her sex slave.
One day, I noticed she forgot to lock the door, and I thought, “Great, this is my chance!”
So I ran up the stairs and grabbed the phone.
Half an hour later, the pizza arrived, and I went back down to the basement.

Pineapple on pizza is like going down on your cousin.
It tastes good, but something ain’t right.

Getting a bl*wjob it’s like getting pizza.
No matter if it’s not done exactly right, it’s always worth it.

You m*rder one pizza man, then you have to m*rder another and another and another…
That’s the Domino’s effect.

Have you heard about the new emo pizza?
It cuts itself.

How is Necrophilia like pizza?
Even when it’s cold it’s still good.

I like my pizza like I like my women…
Absolutely no p*bic hair.

How is sex like pizza?
Turtles are having it in the sewers.

Why did the hipster’s mouth hurt?
Because he ate pizza before it was cool.

A new topless pizza place opened up in town.
It’s called la Tizzaria.

How do you get a philosophy major off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

What tastes good on pizza but not on pu$$y?
Crust.

What’s the difference between a musician and a large pizza?
A large pizza can feed a family of four.