Bananas have a long history of causing raised eyebrows among adults, mostly because their shape seems to invite trouble without trying. I once watched a group of grownups at a pool party lose their focus the moment someone unpacked a bunch, as if the fruit itself carried a secret they all already knew.
That same energy spills into Dirty Banana Jokes, which keep popping up whenever people gather and get a little too comfortable. In one office break room I visited, the moment someone mentioned the subject, the entire table leaned in like a badge of mischief had just been handed out.
Adult Banana Jokes
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve. She made Adam’s banana stand.
How are friends like bananas?
If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
What do you call it when one banana eats another?
Cannibananabalism.
This girl used to have s*x with fruit whenever she got stressed.
After she broke up, she went f*cking bananas.
What did the banana say to the vibr@tor?
“Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!”
Why did the banana go out with the prune on Valentine’s Day?
Cause he couldn’t find a date.
When John was about six years old, his father began a little routine every time he ate a banana.
John’s father would peel the first strip and say, “One skin.” Then he’d peel the second, “Two skin.” Then came, “Three skin… five skin.”
A confused young John would ask, “What happened to the four skin?”
His father would grin and reply, “Jewish banana.”
It wasn’t until John turned twelve that he finally understood the joke.
What do you call the b*tt end of a banana?
The bananus.
Can a banana nut?
No, but a pea can.
Our biology teacher brought a banana into s*x Ed class to demonstrate how to put on a condom.
Apparently, he couldn’t get an erection on an empty stomach.
Recommended: Banana Jokes
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” The girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”
What’s the wrong way to eat a banana?
With your butt.
What should you do when you see a banana peel on the road?
Run fast, there must be a naked banana somewhere.
Did you hear about the guy with a fruit fetish?
He’s f*cking bananas.
A woman goes to her Gynecologist.
“What seems to be the problem?” asked the doctor.
The woman replied, “Something is terribly wrong. I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my Vagina.”
The Doctor had a look, chuckled, and said, “Those aren’t postage stamps, my dear, they’re the stickers off the bananas.”
Is the KKK a good source of Potassium?
Yes, because they’re all bananas.
What does a banana family call their gay granny?
Lesbanana (Lesbo Nana).
What did the boy banana say to the girl banana when she started to strip for him?
“You are super appealing.”
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had.
His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
A banana a day keeps the cancer away.
Turns out you have to eat them.
Two bananas were tanning on the beach when a piece of poop floats by.
The poop yells, “Hey, the waters great, get in”.
The banana turns to the other banana and says, “Do you believe that sh*t?”
What’s common between the world and a banana?
No one likes the black part.
What do SpongeBob, a banana, and a Chinese man have in common?
They’re yellow and they can’t drive.
How do monkeys get bananas?
Food stamps.
How are Marines like bananas?
They start green, go yellow, and die in bunches.
What’s worse than slipping on a banana peel?
The h0l0caust.
Women are like bananas.
They get sweeter the more they’re bruised.
Do you have a Dirty Banana joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
