Bananas are like the comedians of the fruit world. They are always slipping into funny situations and making people laugh without even trying. With their bright yellow suits and dramatic peel entrances, they never fail to grab attention. Even when they go bad, they do it with style, turning brown like they’re wearing leopard spots.
Banana jokes are just as funny as the fruit itself. They’ve been making people giggle for generations, proving that humor doesn’t need to be complicated to work. There’s something about a banana’s simple shape and silly reputation that keeps comedians and kids laughing. When it comes to comedy, bananas truly split the crowd, in laughter!
Best Banana Jokes
Any time you decide to go work out, take a banana with you.
Otherwise……it’s just a fruitless exercise.
If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, what is C for?
Plastic explosives.
What do you call a shoe that is made from bananas?
A slipper.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Orange.
(Orange who?)
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?!
Why didn’t the apple want to date the banana?
Because she didn’t find him appealing.
What do you call Indian Banana bread?
Banaan.
Father told his daughter, “Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?”
She rolled her eyes at him, but he persevered. “It’s true!”
“When was the last time you ate a monkey?!”
What do you call it when a banana eats another banana?
Canabananalism.
A man is buying a banana, an apple, and two eggs. The female cashier says, “You must be single.”
The man answers, “Wow, how did you know?”
Cashier replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
Time flies like an arrow,
Fruit flies like a banana.
Where do bananas go to learn to become banana splits?
Sunday school!!
Recommended: Banana Split Jokes
Where do you learn to make a banana split?
Sundae school.
What do you call a gorilla with a banana in each ear?
Anything you like, he can’t hear you.
Two monkeys, one is lucky and the other is not…
Every day they go to a banana farm and the lucky one climbs a tree and throws the bananas to the other one. And every day, the farm owner gathers the farmers and catch the unlucky monkey and beat him.
One day, the unlucky monkey is fed up with the beating and tells the lucky monkey to wait while he climbs the tree and throw the bananas. This time, the farmers catch the lucky monkey.
The farm owner says, “Leave him, we have already beaten him many times. Get me that idiot on the tree this time.”
If farmer A sells apples, farmer B sells bananas, what does farmer C sell?
Medicine.
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
What do you call Bananas without B ?
Pineapple.
At the grocery store, Neil’s bagger told him they weren’t going to make bananas any longer.
Neil, curious, asked, “Oh really?”
The bagger grinned and replied, “Yeah, they’re already long enough.”
A friend told me that all apples were yellow…
I was like, “That’s bananas…”
What do you call a banana with eyes?
A BININI!
A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
What do you call two bananas on the floor?
A pair of slippers.
What’s the difference between a traffic light and a banana?
With a traffic light, green means go, yellow means wait, and red means stop.
But with a banana, green means wait, yellow means go, and red means OH MY GOD, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOUR BANANA!?!
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn’t peeling very well.
A man told his wife he was going to the supermarket.
Man: “I’m going to get a carton of milk.”
Wife: “Okay, if you see bananas, get 6.”
The man comes home with 6 cartons of milk.
Wife: “What the hell!!! Why did you bring 6 cartons of milk?”
Man: “I saw bananas at the supermarket.”
What does a banana say to express its gratitude?
“Thanks a bunch.”
Why do people love bananas so much?
They have a peel.
Yo mama so hairy when she goes to the zoo, bananas are thrown at her.
What’s the difference between a banana and bananas?
One is just a banana, and the other is crazy.
Just hired a monkey to be a delivery driver for my fruit company.
He drove me bananas.
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water.
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
“Hey, monkey!”
“Hey, lion!”
“What in the world are you doing?”
“Ten bucks and I will explain..”
The lion pays her.
“Thanks. I’m dipping a banana peel in the water.”
“Wtf, monkey? You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen!”
“Sure, I’m an idiot, but I’m making $40 an hour.”
What do you call a banana with no sodium?
A ba.
Nobody wanted to see the naked banana…
It just lacked appeal.
Want to hear a joke about bananas?
K.
What is a banana’s favorite Tom Petty song?
You Don’t Know How It Peels.
Two bananas are sunbathing by the side of a river as they’re just starting to relax, and a lump of poo floats by. The poo notices the bananas staring at him in disgust and decides he should try and be polite and make friends. The lump of poo shouts, “Come in, the water is lovely and warm!”
The two bananas look at each other for a moment, and one banana turns to the other and says, “Do you believe that sh*t?”
In a banana republic…
The traffic lights go from green to yellow to brown.
How does a banana get out of jail?
They win on a-peel.
Fun fact: the original spelling of banana was “bannanna”.
The present spelling was adopted about 250 years ago during the Enlightenment.
Why did the banana go out with the peach?
Because it couldn’t find a date!
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I don’t get many weasels around here.”
Before the weasel can speak, a monkey walks into the bar. “I don’t get many monkeys either,” says the bartender.
“That jerk’s been following me all day,” says the weasel. “For the past hour or so he’s been chasing me around a mulberry bush.”
“It was all in good fun,” says the monkey. “Anyhow, I’ll have a banana daiquiri.”
“That’s nice,” says the bartender. He turns to the weasel and says, “What would you like?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
Father used to tell jokes about bananas and pineapples all the time…
He could really Dole them out.
What do you call a cop eating a banana?
Po-Po-Tassium!
What do you do when a banana tells you to leave their home?
Peel out.
Did you hear about the banana that was a prosecutor?
He won the conviction, but slipped up on appeal.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Banana.
(Banana who?)
Banana split so ice creamed!
How many bananas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A bunch.
What do you get when you cross a banana peel with a psychologist?
A freudian slip.
A man goes to the doctor, and the doctor is shocked and says, “Sir, you have a banana growing out of your ear!”
And the man says, “What?! A banana?! How is that possible?”
“I planted squash.”
What did the banana say to the boy?
Nothing, bananas can’t talk!
What do you get hanging from banana trees?
Sore arms.
Why couldn’t the banana yell high?
It could only yellow.
A hotdog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The weiner.
Why are bananas so tasty?
Because they have a lot of Potassi-yumm.
A beer and a banana got in a fight. The cops showed up.
The banana split, but the beer was too slow and got thrown in the cooler.
Two blondes were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas that they’d never seen before. Each bought one.
The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, she looked across to her friend and said, “I wouldn’t eat that if I were you.”
“Why not?”
“I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.”
Why don’t bananas ever adopt children?
Bananas foster
What’s invisible and smells like bananas?
Monkey burps.
Did you hear about the frightened banana?
It jumped out of its skin.
Chuck Norris doesn’t unpeel bananas…
He unbananas peels.
Two bananas are sunbathing next to a river…
When along comes a turd floating down the river. The turd sees the two bananas and shouts, “Hey, you two should jump in, it’s nice and warm!”
One banana turns to the other and says, “Do you believe that sh*t?”
What do you call people who steal bananas?
Banandits.
What do you call a bad banana joke?
An unappealing one.
Bananas should be called Bakks it they’re so full of potassium and not sodium.
Why did the banana go to therapy?
Because it had a split personality.
A banana walked into a doctor’s office.
He’s sitting in the exam room when the doctor walks in, head buried in his notes, not really paying attention.
“I’ve got some bad news. You have stage 4 cancer, and it’s very aggressive. We’ve caught it way too late. I’m afraid you only have two weeks left to live, Mr. Orange.”
Looking up from his notes, he’s startled to see that he must have walked into the wrong exam room.
Taking a deep breath, he sighs and says, “Well…….. I bet you’re glad I didn’t say banana.”
What’s the difference between a banana and a cow?
A banana’s yellow.
Why was the monkey upset with his new job on Wall Street?
He found out the stock market doesn’t sell bananas.
Why was Billy fired from the banana factory?
He threw away all the bent ones.
Why does the US president eat so many bananas?
Because he needs his POTUSium.
Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?
He drove people bananas!
What do you call a sad banana?
A blueberry!
What does a musical banana wear?
A Bandana!
Do you have a funny Banana Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
I just slipped on a banana skin.
I look ridiculous in it.
I’m a fruit seller, and this woman who goes by the name “Ana” comes daily and eats many fruits for free…
I think I need to banana.