Cheese is that magical block of happiness that can turn any dull meal into a celebration. From stretchy mozzarella on pizza to crumbly feta in salads, cheese has found a way into every food lover’s heart. It’s the one ingredient that doesn’t just melt in your mouth, but it melts your worries away too. Some say cheese makes everything better, and honestly, they might be right, especially when you realize how many funny things people have to say about it.
Now, cheese jokes are a whole different level of delicious fun. They spread faster than butter on toast and leave everyone grinning like a wedge of cheddar at a dairy fair. These jokes celebrate the joy, the smell, and the occasional silliness that cheese brings into our lives. Whether it’s about a fancy blue cheese or a humble slice on a sandwich, cheese jokes remind us that laughter, just like cheese, is best when shared.

Best Cheese Jokes

Did you hear about the cheese factory in France that exploded?
There was nothing left but de brie.

Sweet dreams are made of cheese…
Who am I to diss-a-Brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese, everybody’s looking for Stilton.

Experts now say that cheese should be stored on the counter rather than refrigerated.
Experts also say woof woof.

Did you hear about that man in Greece who tried to lose weight by only eating cheese?
It didn’t work. He just got feta and feta.

What’s the difference between America and cheese?
If left for a while, cheese develops culture.

What kind of cheese does Medusa like?
Gorgon-zola.

Why do vegans often look miserable in photos?
They don’t like to say ‘cheese’.

Why do Germans fear hot dogs with cheese?
Because for them, it is a Wurst-Käse scenario.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. His legacy will become a pizza history. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Sending olive my prayers to the family. His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it. You never sausage a tragic thing.

What’s the worst kind of cheese?
Ou cheese.

What is the best type of cheese ever?
Goat cheese.

How does cheese get more mature?
Fromage.

What do you call a wheel of cheese that you throw to someone else?
A fris-brie.

A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally.
A customer in an Italian restaurant is so pleased with his meal that he insists on telling the chef personally. The owner proudly leads him into the kitchen. “Your pizza is superb,” the customer tells the chef. “I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there.” “Naturally,” the chef says. “Over there, they use domestic cheese. Ours is imported!”

How can you tell that Casino Royale was based in Europe?
If it were in the US, it would’ve been called Casino Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Did you know that fully grown deer don’t like melted cheese?
But their fawn do.

I think we should ban pre-shredded cheese.
Make America grate again.

What do Christians and mice have in common?
They both worship cheeses.

A man goes to a diner and orders a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of room-temperature sweet tea.
When his food arrives, he takes a sip of the tea but finds it to be scorching hot.
“Ow!” yells the man, “I asked for this to be room temperature!”
“It is, sir,” says the waiter, “The kitchen is on fire.”

How do you make Swiss cheese?
With a holey cow.

What do you call cheese made with Nirvana music?
Curd Cobain!

Two cheese trucks ran into each other…
De brie was everywhere.

What did the mouse use to build his house?
Cottage cheese.

Europe is like a fridge,
You have the freezing cold part at the top,
Then in the middle, you have cheese, cold meat, and a good drinks selection.
Then, down the bottom corner, there’s just turkey and grease.

Did you hear about the cheese who works out?
It was shredded.

My neighbor keeps stealing the milk from my cows to make his own butter and cheese.
How dairy!

Where do you go to get help with a cheese addiction?
Briehab.

What do you call mythical cheese?
Legend dairy.

Recommended: Nacho Cheese Jokes

Did you hear cheese and meat sales have gone up in India?
Apparently, there is a New Delhi.

A government official approached a pig farmer and asked him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer answered, “Oh, the pigs? I just feed them whatever scraps I have lying around.”
Shocked, he said, “Sir, that is animal cruelty! I’ll have to fine you $10,000!”
The next day, a female official approached the farmer and asked him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer replied, “Oh, the pigs? Only the finest products ma’am! Caviar, continental cheeses, pastries, and hand-picked salads!”
Stunned, she told the farmer, “Sir, that food is way too rich for them, they’ll get sick! I’m going to fine you $25,000!”
The third day, yet another snotty government bureaucrat approached the farmer again and asked him what he feeds his pigs.
The farmer answered, “Oh, the pigs? I just give them $50 each and tell them to go and buy their own food.”

Is it possible to kill someone with a piece of Cheddar cheese?
Yes, but only if it’s extra sharp.

When we make pizza at home it’s my wife’s job to shred the cheese.
She’s the gratist.

Just came up with a suspenseful joke about cheese…
Queso here it goes….

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Queso!
(Queso who?)
Queso mistaken identity.

What do you call a cheese bounty hunter?
Boba Feta.

What’s a porcupine’s favorite kind of sandwich?
Quilled cheese.

A blonde walks into a library.
She goes up to the librarian’s desk and says, “I’ll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a Diet Coke, please.” The librarian looks at her in disbelief. “Uh, honey, this is a library, and not McDonald’s.”
The blonde is totally taken aback as she looks around and sees everyone quietly reading books. She says, “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!” Whispers, “I’ll have a quarter pounder with cheese, fries, and a Diet Coke, please.”

My friend told me he hated blue cheese because it’s literally just cheese with bacteria.
I told him to stop discriminating against other cultures.

15 dollars for a rat trap, 3 dollars for cheese
Coming home to find a house not full of droppings?
Miceless.

Cut my mouth on cheese.
My wife must’ve bought the extra sharp cheddar.

What’s the loneliest cheese?
Provalone.

A Kraft cheese factory recently burned down…
No one reported the fire for hours, because no one believed that there actually were hot Singles in the area.

Yo mama so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.

Why is canned Parmesan cheese the most family-friendly?
It’s always G rated.

Jake was wandering through the supermarket, trying to pick out the ripest avocados without squishing them, when out of nowhere, a man appeared and hurled a whole block of cheddar right at him!
The cheese bounced off his cart and landed with a dramatic splat. Jake just stared in disbelief and said, “Real mature.”

Why do lactose-intolerant people never smile in photos?
Because they can’t say cheese.

What do you say to an art student with a job?
“Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese.”

What does the Mexican Cheese say to someone who says they don’t like how it tastes?
“K. So?”

What do you call an empty container of Cheese Whiz?
Cheese Was.

How do you turn milk into cheese?
Put it in solid dairy confinement.

A husky, a pitbull, and a chihuahua are all fighting over a poodle.
Poodle says: “I’ll only choose the mate who can use the words ‘Liver’ and ‘Cheese’ in one sentence…”
Husky: “Well, that’s easy, I love liver and I love cheese!”
Poodle: “That’s not gonna work.”
Pitbull: “I hate liver and I hate cheese!”
Poodle: “…No”
Chihuahua: “LIVER ALONE, CHEESE MINE!”

Did you hear about the guy who opened a cheese store in Israel?
He called it “Cheeses of Nazareth”.

A cheese sandwich walks into a pub.
The landlord says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food.”

What’s a gold digger’s favorite kind of cheese?
Aged Cheddar.

What do you call Mac N’ Cheese without a lot of cheese?
Lackin’ cheese.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Cheese.
(Cheese who?)
Cheese a jolly good fellow!

What’s Sherlock Holmes’s favorite cheese?
It’s Emmental, my dear Watson.

How do you approach an angry Welsh cheese?
Caerphilly.

What’s a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Jarrrrrlsberg.

What kind of cheese can hide a horse?
Mascarponé.

What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you?
It is Nacho cheese.
What do you call someone else’s flatbread?
Naan of your business.

What do you call a well-behaved dog that loves cheese?
A Gouda-Boy.

What do you call it when a group of cheeses start fighting?
A fromage fray.

What cheese would you use to entice a bear out of a cave?
Camembert.

What’s a horror author’s favorite cheese?
They don’t have a specific type, but they love Kraft.

A customer walked into a Subway and ordered his sandwich in an unusual way.
In a pleasing bass voice, he sang, “I’ll take meatbaaaaallll. Footloooonnng. On whiiiiiite!”
Just then, another customer walked in and in a forceful tenor voice, sang, “I’d like a turkeeeeeeyy! Footlooooong! On wheeeeaaatt!”
A third customer walked in and plainly spoke, “I’d like a footlong Veggie Delite on Italian herb n’ cheese.”
It was on this day that the Veggie Delite became the unsung hero.

Recommended: Pizza Jokes

Just watched a documentary on how they make shredded cheese…
Grate stuff.

What did the quesadilla say to the tortilla last night?
“Buenos no-cheese.”

What kind of cheese gives out money?
Provaloan.

Supermarkets are able to sell pre-shredded cheese only because people are unwilling to do the work themselves.
Grater love hath no man.

Do you have a funny Cheese Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!