Cringe jokes are the comedy equivalent of tripping over your own feet. They are awkward, embarrassing, and yet somehow still funny. They make you groan, roll your eyes, and maybe even question your life choices. Whether it’s terrible puns or jokes so bad they’re good, they have a special way of sticking in your brain, much like Dog Jokes that are so ridiculous you can’t help but laugh.
The best part about cringe jokes is that they don’t need to be clever as they just need to make people react. It’s like when someone tells a joke so awful that the silence afterward is funnier than the punchline. You know it’s bad, they know it’s bad, but somehow, that makes it even funnier.
Best Cringe Jokes
What’s more unhealthy than consuming a junk food?
Stepping on a landmine.
Why did Ed not have a girlfriend?
Cause sheeran away.
What is the most terrifying word in Nuclear Physics?
Oops.
What do you call a french guy wearing slippers?
Philipe Philoppe.
What’s the longest word in the English language?
Smiles. The first and the last letter are a mile apart.
What is twice as dangerous as a polar bear?
A bipolar bear.
What’s faster than a calculator?
A calcunow.
What’s green, has wheels, and breathes fire.
Grass. I lied about the wheels and fire.
Why was 9 afraid of 7?
7 was a registered 6 offender.
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What’s so good about Soviet Ubers?
They’re always Russian.
How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irish man?
None. None at all.
A Mexican magician says “I’m going to make myself disappear on the count of three.”
Then he counts “Uno, dos” Poof! He disappears without a tres.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
I like mountains.
But volcanoes are ash holes.
What’s a candle’s favorite Keanu Reeves movie?
John Wick.
If I had to rate the Solar System.
I’d give it one star.
What is Satan’s favorite New York neighborhood?
Hell’s Kitchen.
When is the best day to cook?
Friday.
A squirrel lives in a tree. One day he feels it shaking, looks down, and sees an elephant climbing the tree.
The squirrel asks: “What are you doing climbing my tree?”
“Well, I’m coming up here to eat some pears,” says the elephant.
“You idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears.”
“I brought my own.”
In 1903 two brothers believed that man could fly.
They were Wright.
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Why are German people stocking up on sausage and cheese?
They’re preparing for a wurst kase scenario.
Where do you go after high school?
Home.
Why was the programmer arrested on charges of organ harvesting?
He performed an illegal operation.
Why is a swordfish nose 11 inches long?
Because if it was 12 it would be a foot.
Where do nerdy astronauts hang out?
On the dork side of the moon.
Did you hear about the astronaut who brought a tick to space?
He was a lunatick.
The invention of the shovel.
Was groundbreaking.
Two friends walk up to a golden wishing well.
Friend 1: You should throw a quarter into that golden wishing well.
Friend 2: Eh, Midas well.
Have you seen the new streaming show about pickle making?
It’s called Netflix and Dill.
What kind of ox cannot tend fields?
Clorox.
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Why does the English not trust the Germans?
Because Deutschlandlied.
How much is twelve units of mass?
Dozen Matter.
A grasshopper walks into a bar and hops up on a stool.
The bartender, astonished, says, “We have a drink named after you!”
The grasshopper, wide-eyed and smiling, says, “You have a drink named Steve?!?!”
What was the most densely populated part of New York City called when it was young?
Boyhattan.
Why do programmers wear glasses?
Because they can’t C+.
What is the most pathetic kind of shape?
Rektangles.
What’s a DNA molecule’s favorite game?
GTA.
Why do communists only write in lowercase?
Because they don’t know how capitalism works.
Why don’t pirates drive in the mountains?
‘Scurvy.
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What if a nation forces vaccines on people?
Vacci-nation.
Why did the window go to the hospital?
He had pane.
Earth is the third planet from the sun.
This means all our problems are third-world problems.
What would you call Trackmania but with only trucks?
Truckmania.
Why is it so hard to tell twin octopi apart?
They look i-tentacle to each other.
What time is the best time to go to the dentist?
2:30.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fsh.
A large, dedicated networking computer walks into a bar.
The bartender asks him, “Can I help you?”
The computer replies, “The sign in the window says you’re looking for a server.”
Why did the picture get arrested?
He was framed.
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Why did the system of a down call their song ‘chop suey’?
They wanted to!
What do you call a clown that explodes when you step on it?
A land mime.
Why do fish have bad eyesight?
Because they live below see level.
Why do Americans like Rubik’s cubes?
They’re really good at separating colors.
What do you call a fat Irishman?
O’Bese.
Why do you not trust stairs?
Because they are always up to something.
Did you hear that the FBI recruited and hired a guy who has Down Syndrome?
He’s a special agent.
What’s the Raven’s favorite sandwich?
A Poe Boy.
What did the peanut do when it sneezed?
Cashew.
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Why should you never fart in an Apple Store?
They don’t have windows.
Why did the golfer have to change into a second pair of pants?
He got a hole in one.
What’s the worst crime you can commit in a river?
Grand Theft Otter.
How do you tell if it’s a crocodile or an alligator?
You see if it will see you later or In a while.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm.
One asks, “What’s your favorite type of music?”
The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
What do you call an angry fat person?
Fed up.
What was Han Solo’s dog named?
Chewbarka.
How many tickles does it take to tickle a squid?
TenTickles.
What did Aqua man say to his friend?
“Water you doing?”
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Why can’t a nose be twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What animal can jump higher than a house?
Lots of them can, a house can’t jump.
Why do birds fly south in the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk.
What’s the best way to kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.
What’s Bruce Lee’s favorite drink?
WATAH!
Have you ever heard of the California Raisins?
Just raisin awareness.
Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?
The ceremony was lame, but the reception was amazing.
What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
Croaka Cola.
Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
To make up for a lousy summer!
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What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno business.
What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A nervous wreck!
What did the house wear to the party?
Address.
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAA!
What’s the strongest animal in the ocean?
The mussel.
Did you hear about the police station that had its toilet stolen?
The cops have nothing to go on.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ catholic.
Want to hear a joke about perforated paper?
Oh never mind, it’s tearable.
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A guy yells to a stranger across the river, “I need to get to the other side”.
Stranger yells back… “You are on the other side”.
What is the leading cause of dry skin?
Towels.
A skeleton walks into a bar and says,
“Give me a shot — and a mop!”
How do you call a deaf bunny?
BUUUUUUNNY!
There are 2 types of people in the world,
Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant, and a rhino?
Helephino.
Helium, Carbon, and Oxygen walk into a bar.
The bartender takes one look at Helium and says, “Get out, we don’t serve your kind here.”
Helium doesn’t react.
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food.
Why are elephants big and gray?
Because if they were small and purple they would be grapes.
Why did the bridge go to the hospital?
A few cars ran over it.
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What do you call a frog in disguise?
Infrognito.
Why was the stadium so hot?
All the fans left.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed!
What do you do with a sick boat?
Take it to the doc!
Do you have a funny Cringe Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
