Desserts aren’t just for sweet tooths, they’re for grown-ups who know that a little sugar can come with a side of spice. When adults gather around a table, it’s not just the cake that gets layered; the conversations do too. Between bites, there’s always room for a naughty twist that’s far more satisfying than frosting.
That’s where Dirty Dessert Jokes sneak in, stirring up laughter that’s just the right amount of guilty pleasure. It’s the kind of humor that makes you snort into your whipped cream while pretending to stay classy. A spoonful of sweetness mixed with a dash of mischief, and now that’s a recipe worth keeping secret from Grandma.
Adult Dessert Jokes
What do you get if you eat 3.14 desserts?
Diabetes. You get diabetes.
What dessert do dementia patients like the most?
Afforgoto.
What’s Jason Voorhees’s favorite dessert?
I-Scream!
What did the cannibal have for dessert?
A sweetheart!
What could be the most expensive dessert?
The cream pie.
What do humans and desserts have in common?
No one likes the very rich ones.
When Tom went to lunch today, he noticed an old man sitting on a park bench sobbing his eyes out. Tom stopped and asked him what was wrong. He said, “I have a 22-year-old wife at home. She rubs my back every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit, and freshly ground coffee.”
Tom said, “Well, then why are you crying?” He said, “She makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies, cleans the house, and then watches sports TV with me for the rest of the afternoon.”
Tom said, “Well, why are you crying?” He said, “For dinner she makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love with me until the wee hours.”
Tom said, “Well, why in the world would you be crying?” He said, “I can’t remember where I live!”
Why should you only poison the first two courses of a meal?
Because poisoning the dessert is just ricin on the cake.
Recommended: Dessert Jokes
What is a s*x addict’s favorite dessert?
Pound cake.
What’s an adult star’s favorite dessert?
Only flan.
What do g@y adult stars eat for dessert?
Sem*n rolls.
Jesus is bored in heaven and decides to take a vacation to Earth.
He thinks hitchhiking could be fun, so he disguises himself as an average-looking American and flies down from heaven onto a highway in Nebraska. He sticks his thumb out, and after a little while, an 18-wheeler pulls over to offer a ride. He climbs in the cab, tells the driver he’s headed west, and off they go. They’re driving along, chatting and having an enjoyable ride, when the trucker asks the hitchhiker if he’s hungry. He is, so the trucker graciously splits his tuna sandwich and gives half to his passenger. A little while later, the driver asks him if he’s thirsty and offers to split his can of Coke with the hitchhiker. They’re riding along enjoying each other’s company, and after another twenty miles or so, the trucker says, “Now that we’ve had lunch, how about dessert?” He pulls a big fat joint from the glove box and gives it to his passenger, but warns him that it is especially strong weed. Disguised Jesus thinks to himself, “F*ck it.. I’m on vacation,” and lights it up and takes a big toke. Jesus is enjoying the buzz and is reflecting on how nice this trucker has been to him when it occurs to him that he hasn’t even introduced himself. He turns to the trucker and says, “You’ve been so kind to me, offering me a ride, offering me food and drink, and sharing this joint with me, and I haven’t even introduced myself.”
The trucker replies, “Shit man, me either… I’m Larry.”
Jesus turns to him and says, “Thank you for your hospitality, Larry. I am Jesus, the only son of God, and you are living like a true Christian.”
Larry hears this, turns to Jesus, and with a big grin on his face says, “See! I told you that weed was some good shit!”
What’s the similarity between chocolate and children?
Both are sweet… and great for a dessert.
What’s Bill C0sby’s favorite dessert?
Puddin.
What do you call a dessert with an extra chromosome?
Chocolate downies.
Adolf Hitler is at a restaurant in 1938.
He’s asked by the waiter what he will have to eat, to which Hitler replies: “To start off, I’ll have the Saarland, and for the main course I’ll have Austria.” The waiter takes his order and leaves. Later, once Hitler’s all done, the waiter returns and asks, “What will you have for dessert?”
And Hitler just says, “No dessert, just the Czech.”
When you’re h*rny about Grandma’s dessert…
Because Grandma’s pudding out…
Recommended: Dirty Ice Cream Jokes
What’s Sir Mix-a-Lot’s favorite holiday dessert?
Rumpkin pie.
An American man goes to a German restaurant.
At the end of his meal, he orders dessert. He decides to have an apple strudel. When he tastes it, he says, “Wow, those Germans really know how to use an oven.”
What is Ge*rge Fl0yd’s favorite dessert?
Rocky road.
Do you have a Dirty Dessert joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
