Life’s too short not to laugh, and here at Joke of the Day, we’re serving fresh doses of humor daily to brighten your day! Whether you’re a fan of witty puns, long story, or the groan-worthy charm of best jokes, there’s something here for everyone.
If you are looking for dad jokes you can check out our page on Dad Joke of the Day. Here, each day brings a new joke, carefully curated to tickle your funny bone and keep you coming back for more. Scroll through our daily archive, laugh out loud, and don’t forget to share the giggles with your friends! After all, laughter is the best medicine, and we’re happy to be your daily dose.
Best Joke Of The Day
Ready for today’s joke? Let’s dive in!
December 5, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day ☃️
What do you call a snowman with a six pack?
An abdominal snowman.
👉 Category: Holiday Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on “abominable snowman,” swapping in “abdominal” to describe a snowman with well defined abs.
December 4, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🚔
A woman visits her husband in prison. Before leaving, she says to a correction officer, “You shouldn’t make my husband work so hard, he’s exhausted!”
The officer laughs, “Work? Ma’am, he only eats, sleeps, and stays in his cell.”
The wife replies, “That’s strange… he told me he’s been digging a tunnel for months!”
👉 Category: Law Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the wife unknowingly revealing her husband’s escape plan. While the officer insists the man isn’t working, she innocently exposes the secret tunnel.
December 3, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🎄
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Their days are numbered.
👉 Category: Holiday Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the literal nature of Advent calendars. Since they count down the days, saying their days are numbered turns a common expression into a festive pun.
December 2, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🧪
A doctor greets his patient in the exam room, “If it isn’t David, the software engineer!”
“That’s me!” replies David. “But wait, how’d you know I was a software engineer?”
The doctor holds up a folder. “We got the results back from the lab. It’s obvious.”
“Obvious?” asks David. “How can you tell that from a stool sample?”
And the doctor replies, “David.. there’s no easy way to put this.. but your sh*t’s full of bugs.”
👉 Category: Tech Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on the double meaning of “bugs.” Software engineers deal with computer bugs, but the doctor uses the term to describe what he found in the stool sample.
December 1, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🧜♀️
Given their anatomy, some people wonder how mermaids can give birth.
They usually have a sea section.
👉 Category: Fantasy Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the pun on “C section,” a surgical birth, and “sea section,” fitting the mermaid’s ocean world.
November 30, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day ✝️
Do you know that Jesus was originally named Gary?
But then Mary stubbed her toe.
👉 Category: Religious Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on the idea of someone shouting a name when they stub a toe. The punchline imagines Mary exclaiming in pain and accidentally naming Jesus.
November 29, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🦕
People of Dubai don’t like the Flintstones.
But the people of Abu Dhabi do.
👉 Category: Cartoon Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the rhythm of the words. “Abu Dhabi do” sounds like “Yabba Dabba Doo,” Fred Flintstone’s famous catchphrase.
November 28, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🏴☠️
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, “What’s with the paper towel?”
The pirate says, “Arrr! I’ve got a Bounty on me head!”
👉 Category: Pirate Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on “Bounty,” which is both a paper towel brand and a reward for capturing someone. The pirate wears the towel and pretends he literally has a bounty on his head.
November 27, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🦃
Why do turkeys love Thanksgiving?
Because they don’t have to worry about buying Christmas presents.
👉 Category: Holiday Jokes
😂 Explanation: We usually think turkeys hate Thanksgiving, but here the humor comes from imagining them relieved about holiday gift stress instead, ignoring the much bigger problem they actually face.
November 26, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🧵
Three tailors lived on the same little street in Brooklyn.
The first one had a sign that said: “Best Tailor in America.”
The second one put up a sign: “Best Tailor in the World.”
The third one thought for a moment and wrote on his: “Best Tailor on This Street.”
👉 Category: Business Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on advertising one-upmanship. Instead of making exaggerated claims like the others, the third tailor chooses a modest, undeniably true slogan, making his sign both honest and funnier than the grandiose ones.
November 25, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🚦
A turkey is about to cross the road.
When suddenly the chicken appears and says, “Don’t do it man, you’ll never hear the end of it!”
👉 Category: Thanksgiving Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline refers to the classic joke “Why did the chicken cross the road?” The chicken warns the turkey not to repeat its famous mistake, creating a clever meta twist on a well known setup.
November 24, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🌈
Where do rainbows go when they’re bad?
To prism.
It’s a light sentence, but it gives them time to reflect.
👉 Category: Science Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor plays on light and physics terms. “Prism” sounds like “prison,” and the follow-up joke ties in reflection.
November 23, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🦃
What do you call a turkey’s evil twin?
A Gobblegänger.
👉 Category: Holiday Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke combines “gobble,” the sound turkeys make, with “doppelgänger,” meaning a look-alike.
November 22, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🪙
Now that the penny has been retired, wealthy Americans are in dire need of even greater tax breaks.
After all, they are now penniless!
👉 Category: Money Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke hinges on a double meaning of “penniless.” On one hand, the U.S. is ending production of the one-cent “penny” coin. On the other hand, “penniless” means having no money. So when wealthy Americans are said to be “now penniless,” the humour lies in pretending that without the penny coin, even the rich somehow have no pennies, hence needing greater tax breaks.
November 21, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 👨👩👧👦
There’s a term for when family generations have fewer and fewer children…
It’s called the receding heirline.
👉 Category: Family Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on “receding hairline,” swapping “hair” for “heir.” Fewer descendants mean a receding “heirline,” turning a common phrase into a clever joke.
November 20, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 📚
A guard in a Russian jail goes to the library and sees an old Jewish political prisoner reading a book.
“What are you reading, old man?” asks the guard.
“I’m learning Hebrew,” says the old man.
“Why bother? You’ll never get to Israel. You will die here.”
“I’m learning Hebrew so when I go to heaven I can speak with Moses and Abraham,” replies the old man.
“How do you know you’re going to heaven? What happens if you go to hell?” asks the guard.
And the old man says, “No problem. I already speak Russian.”
👉 Category: Political Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke builds on the idea that Russian would be the language of hell in the prisoner’s experience.
November 19, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🐴
Before being domesticated by humans, horses made multiple attempts at governing themselves.
Unfortunately, they all failed. In every vote the neighs won.
👉 Category: Animal Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the pun on “neighs,” the sound horses make, and “nays,” as in voting against something.
November 18, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🎤
What did the guy from the Village People say when he asked the guy from the Beastie Boys about his stage name?
“Why MCA?”
👉 Category: Music Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the play on YMCA, the famous Village People song, and MCA, the stage name of a Beastie Boys member.
November 17, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 📶
A man at a funeral interrupts the priest and says, “Excuse me, do you have the WiFi password?”
The priest stares at him and says, “Good God man, have some decency. This is your mother’s funeral!”
And the man says, “Is that all lower case?”
👉 Category: Tech Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline comes from the man completely missing the priest’s outrage. Instead of reacting to the emotional context, he treats the reply as if it were the password, asking whether it’s lowercase.
November 16, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🎸
A couple is seeing a marriage counselor, but they’re having trouble opening up about their relationship problems.
After multiple failed attempts to get them to speak to him or each other, the therapist says he’ll break out his secret weapon. He pulls out a bass guitar and starts playing and amazingly, they actually start talking! The problem turns out to be simple (though embarrassing), and they thank him once the session ends.
They do, however, have one question: what was the bass solo for?
Reluctantly, the counselor explains: “Some friends of mine and I had a band in college, so I know from bitter experience: during the bass solo, everyone talks.”
👉 Category: Music Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on a classic band stereotype: during a bass solo, audiences tend to chat instead of listening. The counselor uses this to get the couple to open up, turning musical frustration into therapeutic genius.
November 15, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🍸
Every day, a doctor would go to the same bar and order a chestnut daiquiri. One day, the bartender ran out of chestnut and used hickory instead. The doctor came in, sipped it, and exclaimed, “Ew! What is this?!”
The bartender replied, “That’s a hickory daiquiri, doc!”
👉 Category: Bar Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline is a playful rhyme based on the phrase “hickory dickory dock.” The bartender swaps in cocktail ingredients to create “hickory daiquiri, doc,” turning a nursery rhyme rhythm into a clever drink pun.
November 14, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🪙
Today, the US Mint will officially mint the last US penny and will no longer produce them in the future.
This makes no cents.
👉 Category: Money Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on “cents” and “sense.” Ending penny production “makes no cents” literally and figuratively, turning the announcement into a clever pun.
November 13, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🦸♂️
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
👉 Category: Pop Culture Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on Superman’s trademark costume and the legendary toughness of Chuck Norris. The punchline humorously suggests Superman lost the fight that’s why he wears his underwear on the outside.
November 12, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🍎
A married woman is caught shoplifting a bag of apples.
In court the judge says, “I don’t usually do this but to set an example, I’m sentencing you to spend a day in jail, one for each apple. That’s a week in total.”
Her husband raises his hand, “Your honor, I have to confess, she also stole a bag of rice the day before.”
👉 Category: Marriage Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline comes from the husband’s unhelpful honesty. Instead of protecting his wife, he adds information that would massively increase her sentence.
November 11, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🎓
My nerdy friend Tim just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
👉 Category: Language Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline uses “Dr. Awkward,” which is itself a palindrome, a word that reads the same forward and backward. Since Tim studied palindromes, the nickname is a clever linguistic nod to his field.
November 10, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🍳
“These eggs are delicious! Did you cook them in butter?”
“Actually, I used ghee.”
“Thanks for clarifying!”
👉 Category: Food Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on the fact that ghee is clarified butter. When the cook says they used ghee, the reply “Thanks for clarifying!” becomes a pun referring both to explaining something and to the butter itself being “clarified.”
November 9, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🪒
Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?
A barber.
👉 Category: Human Jokes
😂 Explanation: The trick lies in the question, the barber isn’t shaving his own beard 30 times a day, he’s shaving other people.
November 8, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🧁
Why does everyone know the Muffin Man but not the Muffin Woman?
Because of the pastriarchy.
👉 Category: Food Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke blends “pastry” with “patriarchy,” creating a playful pun that suggests baked-goods fame is controlled by a whimsical “pastriarchy.”
November 7, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🚗
A radiator is essentially a vital organ to a car, so it’s kinda weird that the town in the movie Cars is called “Radiator Springs.”
That’s like humans having a city called “LiverPool.”
👉 Category: Movie Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke draws a funny parallel between car “organs” and human organs. Since Radiator Springs is named after a crucial car part, the comparison to humans living in a place named after our organs makes the punchline land with playful absurdity.
November 6, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day ⚰️
A doctor comes into the room, shaking his head at the clipboard in his hands, and tells the patient they’re being moved to the east wing.
“What’s in the east wing?” the patient asks, while their bed is rolled down the hallway.
“The morgue,” replies the doctor.
“.. but I’m not dead yet!” says the patient.
“It’s a long hallway.”
👉 Category: Medical Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline twists a routine hospital transfer into a grim but comedic misunderstanding, the doctor’s reply implies the patient will eventually end up in the morgue by the time they get there, making the grim humor land in a dry, absurd way.
November 5, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🩺
A man goes in for a checkup and afterwards the doctor comes in and somberly tells him that his kidneys are failing.
The man cheerfully replies, “That’s okay, I’m 41. I should be getting my adult knees any day now!”
👉 Category: Medical Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on the word “kidneys,” splitting it into “kid knees.” The man humorously interprets the diagnosis as if he’ll simply upgrade from “kid knees” to “adult knees,” turning a serious situation into a lighthearted pun.
November 4, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day ⛪
A guy decides to go to confession for the first time in many years. He enters the confessional, and there’s a shelf with cigars, brandy, and chocolate.
The priest enters the confessional and the guy says, “This is great! Things have changed a lot since the last time I was here.”
And the priest says, “Get out of here. You’re on the wrong side.”
👉 Category: Religious Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the misunderstanding, the man thinks the luxurious setup is part of the confessional experience, but he’s actually in the priest’s side of the booth. The punchline reveals his mistake in a lighthearted, situational twist.
November 3, 2025
📬😂 Joke of the Day ✉️
What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?
Envelope.
👉 Category: Language Jokes
😂 Explanation: The word “envelope” begins and ends with the letter E and often contains a single letter (a piece of mail), so the riddle plays on the two meanings of “letter.”
November 2, 2025
💩😂 Joke of the Day 🏥🪑
Patient: “Doctor! My stool is never solid!”
Doctor: “You need to get your sh*t together.”
👉 Category: Medical Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on the double meaning of “get your sh*t together”, a common phrase for becoming organized while also referring literally to the patient’s digestive problem.
November 1, 2025
⌚😂 Joke of the Day 💼🤣
Manager to his employee: “This is the 5th day in a row that you’re late to work. What conclusions should I make based on that?”
“That today is Friday,” replied the employee.
👉 Category: Work Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor lies in the employee’s quick-witted response, instead of apologizing, he cleverly points out that his lateness pattern simply means it’s the end of the workweek.
October 31, 2025
🎃🐢 Joke of the Day 👻😂
A man goes to a Halloween party in nothing but his underwear and a woman strapped to his back.
His friend sees him and says, “Hey, what are you meant to be?”
“Oh, I’m dressed as a turtle,” he replies.
His friend responds, “A turtle? How are you a turtle? Who’s that woman on your back?”
The man replies, “Oh, that’s just Michelle.”
👉 Category: Halloween Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke is a clever wordplay, “Michelle” sounds like “my shell.” The man’s costume as a “turtle” with “Michelle” on his back turns a simple name into a hilarious pun.
October 30, 2025
👻➗ Joke of the Day 📜😂
Why didn’t 4 enter the haunted house?
Because it was 2 squared.
👉 Category: Halloween Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke is a clever math pun, 2 squared equals 4, so the number 4 “was” 2 squared, making it too scared (a play on words) to enter the haunted house!
October 29, 2025
🪖😂 Joke of the Day 📜💤
A mean drill sergeant was addressing a squad of twenty-five exhausted men and said, “I have a nice cushy job for the laziest man here. Raise your hand if you are the laziest.”
24 tired blokes quickly raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man, “Why didn’t you raise your hand?”
The man replied, “Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge.”
👉 Category: Military Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke flips expectations, instead of proving his laziness by volunteering, the last soldier shows true commitment to laziness by refusing to even lift his hand, making him the undisputed winner.
October 28, 2025
⌚😂 Joke of the Day 💍💬
A woman walks into a store and asks, “Can I have a watch for my husband, please?”
Salesperson: “Sorry, we don’t barter.”
👉 Category: Marriage Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the double meaning of “for my husband.” The woman means she wants to buy a watch as a gift, but the salesperson twists it as if she wants to trade her husband for a watch, a perfect example of playful misunderstanding!
October 27, 2025
⚗️😂 Joke of the Day 💊💨
A chemist walks into his shop and sees a man leaning against the wall.
“What’s wrong with him?” he asks his assistant.
“He came in for cough syrup,” the assistant explains. “But I couldn’t find any, so I sold him some laxatives instead.”
“What?! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!” the chemist says, horrified.
The assistant replies, “Of course you can… look at him — he’s way too scared to cough!”
👉 Category: Chemistry Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on the idea that laxatives make it dangerous to cough because doing so could have, well, unintended side effects. The humor lies in the assistant’s absurd but oddly logical reasoning!
October 26, 2025
🌍😂 Joke of the Day 💻🎙️
A Japanese, an Englishman, a Frenchman, an Israeli, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a Zoom call.
The six men are all on a Zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks, “Hi, can you see me?” and they respond:
“Hai”
“Yes”
“Oui”
“Ken”
“Si”
“Ja”
👉 Category: Language Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on how “yes” is said in different languages: Hai (Japanese), Oui (French), Ken (Hebrew), Si (Spanish), and Ja (Dutch), making it sound like a perfectly multilingual roll call of agreement on a video call!
October 25, 2025
🦅😂 Joke of the Day 📜💬
“Sir, you can’t bring 20 pounds of putrid animal flesh onto the flight. You’ll have to leave it behind.”
“Oh, that?” said the vulture. “That’s just my carrion.”
👉 Category: Animal Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the pun on “carrion” which means decaying animal flesh while “carry-on,” the term for luggage allowed on a flight.
October 24, 2025
🎤😂 Joke of the Day 👔🤣
In a job interview, an interviewee was asked, “Do you perform well under pressure?”
He said, “No, but I do a pretty decent Bohemian Rhapsody…”
👉 Category: Job Jokes
😂 Explanation: The interviewer’s question refers to handling stress, but the interviewee twists it into a music pun, “Under Pressure” is a famous Queen and David Bowie song, while “Bohemian Rhapsody” is another Queen classic.
October 23, 2025
🐋😂 Joke of the Day 🍻🤣
Two whales walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I get you?”
The first whale says, “Waaaaa woooooo whhoooooo waaaaa.”
The second whale says, “Shut up Frank, you’re drunk.”
👉 Category: Animal Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the absurd idea of whales at a bar, one “speaking” in whale sounds like in Finding Nemo while the other plays the straight man, delivering the punchline with perfect comic timing.
October 22, 2025
💪😂 Joke of the Day 📺🤣
Son: “Dad, today I watched someone do 50 pushups, do you think you could do that?”
Dad: “Of course, son. Don’t want to brag, but I could probably watch someone do 100 push-ups.”
👉 Category: Fitness Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline flips the son’s question instead of claiming he can do push-ups, the dad boasts about his ability to watch them, poking fun at classic lazy dad humor.
October 21, 2025
🏴☠️😂 Joke of the Day 📜💻
What’s a pirate’s least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
👉 Category: Pirate Jokes
😂 Explanation: Everyone expects the answer to be “R!”, but instead, it’s a letter from the ISP, a clever modern twist on a classic pirate joke!
October 20, 2025
🤣💼 Joke of the Day 😂👻
Boss: “Do you believe in life after death?”
Employee: “No, why?”
Boss: “Because after you left early yesterday for your mother’s funeral, she came in looking for you.”
👉 Category: Work Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke delivers a perfect workplace twist, the boss catches the employee lying about a funeral, proving that some excuses can come back from the dead!
October 19, 2025
🎄🤣 Joke of the Day 🌌😂
Where do stormtroopers do their Christmas shopping?
At the store next to Target.
👉 Category: Star Wars Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke plays on the fact that stormtroopers are notoriously bad at aiming, “Target” becomes both a store and a literal target, creating a clever pun.
October 18, 2025
💀🤣 Joke of the Day 🧠😂
I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
All this time, I thought he was a theoretical physicist!
👉 Category: Science Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline plays on the term “theoretical physicist,” twisting it to sound like Einstein himself was only theoretical.
October 17, 2025
💼🎓 Joke of the Day 🤣😂
At a job interview, the candidate is asked to explain a 4-year gap on his resume.
“Oh, that’s when I went to Yale!” the candidate explains.
The interviewer exclaims, “Wow, that’s really impressive, you’re hired!”
“Oh, thank you!” the candidate replies, “I really need this yob!”
👉 Category: Work Jokes
😂 Explanation: The joke twists at the end, the candidate meant “jail,” not “Yale,” and his mispronunciation of “job” as “yob” gives away the truth.
October 16, 2025
🚗🤣 Joke of the Day 🤣💸
A rich guy with a Porsche drives every morning, waving at the neighbors to show off his wealth
Every morning, since he owned his Porsche, he drives by windows rolled down, waving through them.
One day, a delivery truck loses control and crashes into his car. The man yells, “My Porsche! Do you know how much it costs?”
A passerby tells him, “Stop being so materialistic, you didn’t even see it ripped your arm off!”
“What? My Rolex too?”
👉 Category: Human Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline highlights the absurdity of valuing possessions over life itself, using exaggerated wealth obsession for comedic effect.
October 15, 2025
📚🤣 Joke of the Day 🤣🐕🐈
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, “Do you have any books on Pavlov’s dogs and Schrödinger’s cat?”
The librarian replies, “It rings a bell, but I’m not sure if it’s here or not.”
👉 Category: Science Jokes
😂 Explanation: The punchline combines two famous scientific ideas like Pavlov’s bell-conditioned dogs and Schrödinger’s uncertain cat, into a clever, nerdy pun.
October 14, 2025
😷🤣 Joke of the Day 🤣🎭
What’s the difference between COVID and Romeo and Juliet?
One’s a Coronavirus, the other’s a Verona crisis!
👉 Category: Literature Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the pun between “Coronavirus” and “Verona crisis,” linking Shakespeare’s tragic lovers from Verona with the modern pandemic.
October 13, 2025
🏠🤣 Joke of the Day 🤣🧩
What’s the most difficult room in the house?
The Problem Attic.
👉 Category: Real Estate Jokes
😂 Explanation: The humor comes from the pun on “problematic” when split, it sounds like “problem attic,” turning an adjective into a witty play on household rooms.
October 12, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 🪥🤣
Have you heard, recent studies have shown you shouldn’t brush your teeth with your left hand…
A toothbrush is better.
👉 Category: Health Jokes
😄 Explanation: The humor comes from the literal twist, the “left hand” part sets up a serious tone, but the punchline replaces it with the obvious tool, making it delightfully dumb.
October 11, 2025
😂 Joke of the Day 😆
Tonight while John was grilling steaks for dinner, his son said, “Dad, one day I will help you with bills, groceries and rent.”
His eyes teared up.
Son will be 37 next week.
👉 Category: Family Jokes
😄 Explanation: A hilarious twist, the touching moment turns tragicomic when you realize the “kid” is nearly 40 and still mooching off dad!
Recommended: Short Jokes
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Yesterday I got caught peeing in the pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loudly I nearly fell in.