Mushrooms are the Internet of Jungle, connecting trees with their intricate webs of mycelium, but with lots of dirt and not a single video about cats. They pop up overnight with the stealth of a ninja, ready to either grace your pizza or, if you’re unlucky, teach you a valuable lesson in foraging. This magical power of mushrooms is a delicate and mysterious ingredient, existing as a delicacy staple and a cautionary tale They are silent stand-up comedians of the plant kingdom to spring surprises. And just when you thought they couldn’t be happier, they become the muse of a collection of jokes that promise to add a little fun to your day.
Speaking of mushroom jokes, they are the unsung heroes of the comedy world, waiting in damp, dark places to unleash a wave of giggles. These jokes have a special power, the kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it, much like a mushroom itself. So, as we venture deeper into the forest of laughter, be prepared to uncover the world of mushroom jokes, where every pun is a path to joy.
Best Mushroom Jokes
What do you get when a giant steps on a house?
Mushrooms.
How much space is needed for fungi to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
A mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says “We don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”
The mushroom says, “Come on. I’m a nice guy.”
Yo mama so fat, she’s got mushrooms growing in her folds.
What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?
“There’s not mushroom in here.”
A man was deathly allergic to mushrooms. After a huge fight, his wife cooked a mushroom into his dinner. He ate it and died.
The morel of the story.. killed him.
What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?
A spores car!
Did you know that some special kinds of mushrooms make people think more clearly?
That’s just some food for thought.
Fungi: Knock, knock.
Broccoli: Who’s there?
Fungi: It’s fungi. Can I come in?
Broccoli: Sure, but there’s not mushroom in here!
What do prize-winning competitive mushroom pickers eat in the morning?
Breakfast of Champignons.
Recommended: Funny Mushroom Puns
What do you call a mushroom pretending to be something else?
A decomPOSER.
In a remote penal colony in Russia, a visiting colonel is checking the records of recently deceased prisoners.
“Reason for death: poisoning”, he reads. “What happened?”
“He ate mushroom soup”, a warder explains, “but the mushrooms turned out to be poisonous”.
“All right”, the colonel says, opening another file. “Reason for death: poisoning. And here?”
“He also ate the mushroom soup”, the warder says, “and the entire bushel of mushrooms turned out to be poisonous”.
“Right,” the colonel says, looking at the next file. “And this one, also poisoned,” he reads. “The same accident with the soup?”
The warder nods. The colonel opens another file.
“Shot while trying to escape”, he reads. “What were the circumstances here?”
“Well,” the warder says, “this one didn’t like mushrooms”.
What do you call a mushroom that drives?
A mushvroom!
Why’s it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?
Because you won’t have mushroom left for dessert.
What kinda room has no doors and no windows?
A mushroom.
What kind of mushrooms always gossip about you behind your back?
A shi’talkin mushroom.
Why wouldn’t the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?
Because it’s a toad’s tool.
A guy sits in his shared apartment when his drug enthusiast roommate walks in.
“Hey, I just bought some mushrooms from my dealer, he said it’s some serious business, so don’t be scared if I won’t come out of my room for a few hours!”
The next day the roommate is found dead. The cause of death it lethal poisoning, so the sober roommate finds the dealer to ask some questions.
“Dude, my roommate just died after taking those mushrooms you gave him.”
“Ah, cool. It worked then. He said he wanted to trip out so hard he can meet his ancestors.”
Every cloud has a silver lining,
Unless it’s a mushroom cloud. Then it’s likely strontium.
A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepperoni, mushrooms, ham, and pineapple.
Word is…he topped himself.
Why is it not worth it to hunt for mushrooms?
It’s too much truffle.
Why was the mushroom farmer a good person?
He had really good morels.
What room has no doors?
A mushroom.
Why’d the mushroom go to the party?
Cause he’s a fungi!
Why’d the fungi leave the party?
Cause there wasn’t mushroom!
Why are Mario games so unforgiving?
There’s not mushroom for error
Fourteen mushrooms were sitting at a lunch table.
One more asked to join. One of them said, “Sorry there is not mushroom!”
What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom after being teased for losing a game of tennis?
That’s poor spore-tsmanship.
What’s the difference between stormtroopers having a party and mushrooms being picked?
One’s bad guys having a fun time the other ones fungi having a bad time!
What mushrooms are easiest to move around?
Portabellos.
A mushroom goes into the hall of bad jokes and says, “I’d like to submit a joke of my people.”
The receptionist looks at him and says, “Listen buddy we have so many bad jokes here that I’m not sure we can squeeze yours in. It has to be exceptionally bad, let me hear it.”
The Mushroom says, “So a shroom goes on a date with this girl and she says ‘Tell me about yourself’ and he says ‘Well I’m a fungi!’
The Receptionist replies, “Yeah that joke is bad but it’s just not gonna cut it, we can’t put it in, We don’t have mushroom.”
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom!
Hear about the mushroom who had to make a tough choice?
It was a big morrel dilemma.
What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?
A spores car!
What do you call a transparent mushroom?
A ‘shroom with a view.
What do mushrooms use to wash their hair?
Champoognon.
Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
He was a fungi.
Why wasn’t the toadstool invited?
He was toxic.
There was a mushroom growing in an illiterate man.
There’s a fungus within dumb Gus.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to cure infected mushroom.
What do you call a giant mushroom?
A hughfungus.
A Japanese couple is watching clouds.
One says, “Hey that one looks like a duck.”
The other says, “Yeah, and that one looks like a fish.”
Then the first says, “Huh, that one looks like a mushroom.”
And those were the last words of a Japanese couple in Hiroshima.
What did the mushroom say when he was left in the dark?
“I’m in the dark, but I’ll still grow!”
What’s a mushroom’s favorite horror movie?
The Spore-exorcist.
What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom?
“Well, I f*cked that one up.”
What do you call a pr*stitute who likes mushrooms?
A spore.
Why don’t the Japanese people do shroom?
Because the last time someone gave them mushrooms a lot of people turned into smoke.
Do you have a funny joke on Mushrooms? Write down the puns in the comment section below!
