In 2025, humor has gone high-tech, with AI creating jokes faster than dads can grill on a Sunday afternoon. But while the robots tried to take over comedy, Dad Jokes in 2025 stood their ground, proving that nothing beats the classic charm of a pun delivered with a cringe-worthy grin. Whether it’s in text messages, holographic calls, or even a meme that reminds you to groan daily, these timeless gems have managed to keep their groovy dad sneakers firmly planted in every conversation.
Dad Jokes have leveled up, but not in the way you’d think. Dads now carry a digital “joke vault” in their smartwatches, unlocking a groan-worthy pun at the perfect (or worst) moment. Families gather around, not for TV shows, but for Dad’s latest attempt at humor, which still gets the classic “Dad, stop!” reaction. And while the tech may have changed, one thing remains true: the jokes are still as bad as ever, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Best Dad Jokes in 2025
This morning a wife texted her husband and said, “You’re great”.
He replied, “No, you’re great”. She’s been in a great mood ever since.
Now, he’s convinced that he should correct her grammar more often.
Why was I furious that I couldn’t write out 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals?
Because I M LI VI D.
How do you make six into nine without adding anything or rotating it?
Remove the “s”.
Why did the husband buy his wife a mood ring?
Because it turns black when she’s annoyed… though he’s unsure if it turns any other colors!
This woman accidentally changed the car’s GPS Voice to “Male.”
Now it says, “It’s around here somewhere. Keep driving.”
What do you get if you cut a policeman’s head into 4 pieces?
Police headquarters.
Aren’t you tired of trying to figure out what equals 86,400 seconds?
Let’s call it a day.
This man was devastated when his wife told him their 6-year-old son wasn’t actually his.
Then she added that he should pay more attention at school pick-up.
Why did Kamala Harris lose the election?
She lacked conviction.
Boy: I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
Girl: What did he say?
Boy: He said, “No!”
What are the four most important elements in Dad Jokes of 2025?
Sulphur (S), Argon (Ar), Calcium (Ca) and Samarium (Sm).
This middle-aged woman just had a physical. The doctor said, “Don’t eat anything fatty. She said, Like bacon and burgers?”
“No fatty, don’t eat anything!”
This employee called work this morning and whispered, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough.” The boss exclaimed, “You have a wee cough!?”
The employee said, “Really?! Thanks, boss, see you next week!”
Recommended: Best Dad Jokes of All-Time
Did you hear about my buddy who quit his job at BMW?
He of course gave no indication that he was leaving.
Sheepdog says to the farmer, “I got all 50 sheep in the pen!”
The farmer says to the dog, “But I only have 46 sheep.”
Sheepdog replies, “I know, I rounded them up.”
Why did the elephant buy a new car?
Not enough trunk space!
What’s 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat, and 2/4 goat?
Chicago.
Did you hear about the man who had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn’t strong enough?
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
A lot of women say their husbands never listen to them.
I’m proud to say I’ve never heard my wife say something like that.
Where do mansplainers get their water?
From a “well actually.”
Did you hear that my girlfriend is the square root of -100?
She’s a 10, but imaginary.
What do you get if you cut a policeman’s head into 4 pieces?
Police headquarters.
An American cat named “One Two Three” and a French cat named “Un Deux Trois” are having a swimming race. Which cat won?
The One Two Three cat, because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.
I just opened 3 birthday cards and so far I have 80 bucks.
I love being a postman.
Did you hear that they made the world’s strongest suction cup?
Not quite sure how they pulled it off.
If you like to tell a dad joke in 2025 and you’re not a dad, what are you?
A faux pa.
How do you burn 2500 calories in 20 minutes?
Try forgetting to take the brownies out of the oven.
Did you hear about the woman who gave her husband a long explanation about mansplaining?
Guess you can call it shelaborating.
Ever wonder when birds fly in a V, why is one side is longer?
Because there are more birds on that side.
Why should you not brush your teeth with your left hand?
Because a toothbrush works better.
Did you hear that cannibals aren’t picky when it comes to eating people in the military?
However, they do prefer seasoned veterans.
How do we know that Mike Tyson isn’t very religious?
He punches people in the faith.
Chris: Hey, can I borrow a ten?
Kristen: Sure
Christen: Thank you
Kris: Anytime.
What happens when you delete all the German names from the cellphone?
It’s now Hans free.
Two bacteria walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Sorry but we don’t serve bacteria here!”
To which the bacteria reply with, “But we work here, we’re Staph !!”
Two hats are on a hat rack.
One hat says to the other, “You stay here. I’m gonna go on a head.”
If the King sleeps on a king mattress, and the Queen sleeps on a queen mattress, where does the Prince sleep ?
On an heir mattress.
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in the 4K video?
“HDMI.”
“Any last words?” asks the firing squad.
The prisoner answered, “I hope you boys miss me!”
Why do people in Athens hate getting up early?
Because dawn is tough on Greece.
A man saw a brunette walking her dogs. He asked, “What are your dogs’ names?”
She answered, “Calvin and Klein.”
The man asked, “Isn’t that a brand of underwear?”
The woman said, “Exactly, they’re boxers.”
What do you call a magician who really lost his magic?
Ian.
A priest, a monk, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood.
The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type-o.”
Why does ten plus ten equal eleven plus eleven?
Because ten plus ten equals twenty and eleven plus eleven equals twenty too.
Ever read a horror story in Braille?
You can just feel something bad is going to happen.
Did you hear about the man who got fired from the Pasta factory?
All because he made a fusilli mistakes.
Why is girlfriend one word but best friend is two words?
Because your best friend gives you space when you need it.
Did you know that dogs can bark up to 500 times per day?
But that’s just a ruff estimate.
If you sin 90 times, you’ll only get caught half of the time.
Sin 90 = cot 45.
Why do white girls hang out it odd numbers?
Cause they literally can’t even.
Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with.
So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
Did you hear about the pen that writes underwater?
It writes other words too.
TIL that Albert Einstein was an actual physicist.
Always thought he was just a theoretical physicist.
Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?
Because it would blow his cover.
A Polar bear walks into a bar and says “I’ll take a rum…… and a coke.” The bartender says, “What’s with the pause??”
The Polar bear says, “I was born with them. Helps me grip ice well!”
Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with “I.”
Student: I is the…
Teacher: Remember you must say “I am” not “I is.”
All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Why do they say “Amen” instead of “A woman” at the end of songs at church?
Because they are hymns, not hers.
How do you make number one disappear?
You add a G and it’s Gone.
What did the dad reply to the mom who said “I’ve had enough, I’m selling my kid on eBay”?
“Don’t be silly. You made him, so sell him on Etsy.”
How do you loose 10 Pounds eating a piece of cake?
You just have to get your cake in central London.
What do you call someone who delivers Indian food?
A currier.
A woman was arrested for laughing like a man.
She was charged with manslaughter.
What do you call a group of no cows?
Un-herd of.
Why is the letter “C” afraid of the rest of the alphabet?
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs.
The nurse hands a man his newborn and says, “I’m sorry, but your wife didn’t make it.”
He responds, “Well then give me the one my wife made!”
What do you call a soldier with no legs?
Army.
Why must you wear your glasses when doing math?
Because it helps with da vision!
Did you know that at the time Jesus was born there were only 25 letters in the alphabet?
There was Noel!
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s Disease?
Shakespeare.
Why do astronauts use Linux?
Because you can’t open windows in space.
What do you call someone who chews all day?
A train.
What’s the difference between a Bad joke and a Dad joke in 2025?
When you hear a dad joke, it’s apparent.
Did you know that being blind makes you curious?
It made Stevie Wonder.
Why was 4 scared to ask out 5?
Because 4 was 2².
What do you call someone who chews all day?
A train.
Why can’t Atheists solve exponent questions?
Because they don’t believe in a higher power.
What do you call a German man with only 1 hand?
Hans solo.
Why is the keyboard always tired?
Because it has to work two shifts.
What do you call it when your dog eats your math homework?
Triga nom-nom itry.
An atom was crying so I’m like, “Hey little guy what’s the matter?”
With tears running down its face it replied, “Well…I am.”
What do you call the rear end of a banana?
The bananus.
Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank?
Because they’ll wash up on the shore later.
What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
In Spanish, there’s lots of words that start with J, but the next letter has very few and I don’t understand why.
Poor K.
What did Super Mario say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her?
“It’s not you but, ITS-A-ME MARIO!”
Why is He called Martin Luther King Jr?
Shouldn’t he be just called Martin Luther Prince instead.
What do you call a unicorn that’s had its horn removed?
Eunuchorn.
Police Officer: Why are you driving around with a book in your hands?
Driver: It’s a long story…
What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?
A Slipper.
Why is the letter A like a flower?
Beecause a B comes after it.
What type of doctor is Dr Pepper?
A Fizzician.
Why do beavers never go on strike?
Because they do their dam job.
What do you call a whale that is mad?
A Stern Whale.
What’s the difference between a married woman and a grenade?
Remove the ring from one and half of your house goes away.
Why is bowling the quietest sport there is?
You can hear a pin drop.
What do you call an Indian who doesn’t live in India?
Outdian.
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.
If a letter is mail, what’s a bill?
Fee mail.
Why did the computer get fat?
Because it accepted too many cookies!
What do you call a werewolf with a YouTube channel?
A lycansubscribe.
Why are men more patriotic than women?
Because they were born with the pro-state gland.
What 11-letter English word is always pronounced incorrectly?
Incorrectly.
Why do male ants float better than female ants?
Because they are buoyant.
What’s the difference between a divorce and a dad joke in 2025?
My wife didn’t tell me she wanted a dad joke.
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Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.
Einstein: Tell me what you need. I’m here to help.
Wife: I just need two things right now: some space and time.
Einstein: Ok, so what’s the second thing?
What exam do 100% of women fail?
A prostate exam.
Why did the girl who was into archery want to date the guy she bought her archery supplies from?
Because he made her quiver.
What do you call a fruit that magically shows up?
A pear.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin.
Teacher: What’s the chemical formula for water?
Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O.
Teacher: How did you get that?
Student: Well, yesterday you said it was H to O.
What do you call twin police officers?
Copies.
Why did the crab cross the road?
He didn’t. He used the sidewalk.
What do you call someone who only makes iced coffees?
A Brrrrrista.
Do you know why milk is the fastest liquid?
It’s pasteurized before we can even see it.
What’s the longest word in the English language?
Smiles. The first and the last letters are a ‘mile’ apart.
Look, I don’t want to sound conceited, but when I left the hotel.
I’m pretty sure that receptionist was checking me out.
Did you hear about the explosion at the French cheese factory?
There was nothing left but deBrie.
Michael Jackson did put out some very good albums.
But I think we all agree his 7th album was Bad.
Did you know you cannot tell the complete history of Japan?
You can only Samurais it.
Why did the dad sit on the clock?
Because he wanted to be on time!
What do you name a woman who burns all her bills?
Bernadette.
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What do you call a cow spying on another cow
A steak out.
Muffins spelled backwards is what you do when you take them out of the oven.
Eulgffins spelled backwards is what you do for a fun Wednesday afternoon.
What do you call two doctors in the same room?
A paradox.
When you are young, you have two kidneys.
Then when you grow up, you have two adult knees.
What do you call a color that doesn’t exist?
A pigment of your imagination.
What do you say to your sister when she’s crying?
“Are you having a crisis?”
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What’s green, has six legs, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A billiard table.
Did you hear about the Japanese man who gave his pigeon Marijuana?
He heard a high-coo.
What do you get when you eat Uranium?
Atomic Ache!
What did they yell at Edgar Allen Poe when he nearly walked into a tree?
“POETRY!”
What do you call it when you beat someone up with instruments?
Violins.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark’s teeth?
A slow swimmer.
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What did the 0 say to O?
“Ohio!”
How did the hamburger introduce his new girlfriend?
“Meat Patty.”
What’s a 10-letter word that starts with g-a-s?
Automobile.
A girl called her father. “Daddy, I have a flat tire.”
“Did you call your boyfriend?”
“He didn’t answer.”
“Do you have a spare?”
“He didn’t answer, either.”
What do you call a bunch of cucumbers in a row?
Queuecumbers.
Did you hear about the guy that ran into a window?
He was in a lot of pane.
Do you have a dad joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
