Wildlife jokes turn the jungle, forest, and ocean into a comedy stage where animals become the stars. They make us laugh by showing the silly side of nature, giving us a lighter way to enjoy the wild.
Once you step into this world, it feels like every creature is ready with a punchline. These jokes prove that humor isn’t just for people, it lives in the wild too, turning nature into something both amazing and entertaining.

Best Wildlife Jokes

This family was watching a documentary on African wildlife when the son asked his father, “Is it difficult to spot cheetahs?”
The father replied, “No, I think they come that way.”

What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle?
The Polar bear.

Lion: “You’re late. We said meet at sunset.”
Giraffe: “I can still see the sun, you little idiot…”

What word starts with “W”, ends with “ife”, and can be very dangerous?
Wildlife.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it!

What does an arctic wildlife photographer get from sitting around too long?
Polaroids.

The worst part about being a giraffe…
…is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.

You’re being chased by a Lion, you’re on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do?
You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.

Why did the deer need braces?
He had buck teeth.

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?
Wipe it off and apologise.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.

What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution, “This guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”.
So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic, but as he’s about to run, he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly, “Mmm…that was some good lion meat!”.
The lion abruptly stops and says,”Whoa! This guy seems tougher than he looks, I’d better leave while I can”.
Over by the treetop, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes that he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened, and the lion says angrily, “Get on my back, we’ll get him together”.
So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts, “Where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…”

Why did the chemistry student add a page containing a lion, tiger, cheetah, jaguar, lynx and leopard to speed up the reaction in their experiment?
They added a cat list.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
They are really good at it.

Hippopotamuses have very thick and tough skin, so how do wildlife veterinarians give them shots?
They use hippo-dermic needles.

Why are giraffes’ necks so long?
Because their heads are so far from their bodies.

To start a zoo you need at least 2 pandas, a grizzly, and a polar.
It’s the bear minimum.

Did you know a kangaroo can jump higher than a house?
Houses can’t jump.

Did you know that fully grown deer don’t like melted cheese?
But their fawn do.

They say male lions will often turn to cannibalism when they’re desperate for food.
They just have to swallow their pride.

What’s black and white and green in the middle?
Two zebras fighting over a pickle.

A panda walks into a café.
He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
“Why?” asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
“Well, I’m a panda,” he says. “Look it up.”
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. “Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.”

On which day to tigers eat people?
Chewsday.

Went to a wildlife park, and all they had was one small Chinese dog.
They said it was a ShitZoo, so you have to admire their honesty, really.

Why was the forest so noisy?
The tree’s bark.

What do you call an elephant who doesn’t matter?
An irrelephant.

Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe?
A little goes a long way.

Why are kangaroos good at brewing beer?
They have hops.

Where’s the best place to find facts about African wildlife?
Safari.

What do you call a lion with a fancy hat?
A dandy lion.

Did you know female deer never sleep properly?
They just doze.

A bear climbs a tree.
A bird sitting in the tree asks, “Hey, Bear, why are you up in this tree?”
The bear says, “I came up here to eat apples.”
The bird says, “But Bear, this isn’t an apple tree. There are no apples up here.”
The bear says, “That’s ok, I brought my own.”

Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra?
You can never find the barcode.

Why do tigers have stripes?
Because they don’t want to be spotted.

Started working at the large wildlife crematorium
And now I’m urning the big bucks.

What do you call an elephant who refuses to bath?
A Smellephant!

What kind of magic does a love-struck giraffe practice?
Neck-romance-y.

In the forest, a sad, lonely-looking turtle begins to climb slowly up a huge tree. Halfway up, it edges along a branch, sighs, then jumps. It falls, smacking into the ground, bouncing and tumbling across the forest floor…
Recovering and bruised, he slowly climbs the tree again, jumps, and falls to the ground.
The turtle tries again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watch his pathetic efforts.
Finally, the female bird turns to her mate, “Darling, don’t you think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted?”

Environmentalists are debating whether or not to remove a local beaver population. Leaving them would cause flooding, but removing them would affect wildlife.
Damned if they do, damned if they don’t.

What do you call a group of bears?
A bearicade.

My local wildlife supply store is refusing to sell me any bird feeding products.
I think I’ll suet.

What do kangaroos do when their car battery dies?
They jump-start it.

Why can’t two elephants go swimming?
They only have one pair of trunks.

A turtle got mugged by a gang of snails. Detective Rabbit of the Wildlife police came out to take his statement. He asked the turtle, “Can you give me a description of the assailants?”
The turtle replied, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast!”

On which side does a tiger have the most stripes?
The outside.

Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.

What crime did the forest commit?
Treeson.

A bear walks into a bar and sits by the counter, waiting for the bartender to attend to him.
Bartender asks. “What would you like to drink?”
The bear replies, ” A whiskey and….”
The bartender raises an eyebrow.
The bear continues after a thought. “… And a coke.”
The bartender nods but asks. “Alright, but why the big pause?”
The bear shrugged innocently and said. “I was born with them.”

Will carrying a torch save you from an attacking bear?
Depends on how fast you can carry it.

How many giraffes does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but you’d better have a high ceiling.

What is the rudest animal in the jungle?
The hippopottymouth.

What’s the cheapest meat you can buy?
Deer balls, they’re under a buck…

What did the horse say the first time they saw a zebra?
That horse has been to prison.

Why are elephants big and grey?
Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes.

What kind of habitat does a rabbit live in?
A rabitat.

A priest is walking through the jungle when he comes upon a hungry lion.
Just as the lion goes to attack, the priest crosses himself and says, “Lord, if you can hear me, please instill the Holy Spirit in this beast’s heart.”
The lion stops in his tracks as a bright light begins to glow around him. He looks to the sky, folds his paws in prayer, and says, “Thank you, Lord, for this meal.”

Giraffes can never apologize to each other.
It takes them too long to swallow their pride.

Not knowing anything about wildlife really can open up a can of wasps.

What’s the dumbest piece of clothing you can give to a lion?
A leotard.

Why aren’t koalas considered bears?
They don’t have koalafications.

Who would win in a fight between a kangaroo and a zebra?
The zebra. Because he has so many black belts.

I recently found out my GPS can point out potential wildlife threats
It always tells me “bear left”.

How do crazy people get through the forest?
They take the psycho path!

What do you give an elephant when it has diarrhea?
A lot of space.

What is the scariest plant in the jungle?
BamBOO!

How do you know if a tiger is male or female?
Throw a rock at it. If he runs it’s a male. If she runs it’s a female.

What do mountain lions eat for breakfast
Goatmeal.

A man was walking naked in a wildlife park.
All the animals began to run away. A lion ran past a deer who had no idea what was going on.
Completely confused, the deer asked: “Why the heck are we even running?”
The lion replied, “Are you kidding me? Haven’t you seen that strange animal with the tail in front?”

Which animal is the chestiest?
Zebra.

I was gonna write a joke about wildlife in Africa, but it’s not finished yet…
This is just the rough giraffe.

What’s the worlds largest ant?
An elephant

What do you call a three-eyed tiger?
A Tiiiger.

What do you call a gang of kangaroos?
A gang of Roos!

Why are g@y men experts on avian wildlife?
They’ve had a cockatoo.

Recommended: Panda Jokes

What do you call a loud elephant?
A yell-ephant.

What do you call it when giraffes are all crammed together and having trouble moving?
Giraffic.

9 out of 10 zoo dentists refuse to work on a Grizzly unless it has been given a strong anesthetic….
There’s safety in numb bears.

What does a forest say when it gets it’s picture taken?
Treeeees!

Why do big-game hunters mount their lions’ heads?
To mount the other end would be a catastrophe.

What are the two oldest animals on Earth?
The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.

What do you call a french guy fighting a tiger?
Claude.

What did Tarzan say when he saw an elephant coming over the hill?
He said, “Here comes an elephant over the hill.
What did he say when he saw an elephant wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?
Nothing. He didn’t recognize him.

Why do zebras have stripes?
Because they don’t want to be spotted.

Recommended: Crocodile Jokes

Why did the giraffe with the short neck feel sad?
She just wanted to belong.

How do you stop a charging rhino?
Unplug it.

What’s the difference between Australian kangaroos and European kangaroos?
European kangaroos are masters at hiding themselves.

Why did the tree get several invites to the annual Forest Dance?
It was Poplar.

What is the most condescending type of bear?
A Pan… duh!

Do you have a funny Wildlife Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!