Pickles have a wild personality of their own, and it all begins in a jar that bubbles like a tiny science lab ready to burst into fame. One moment a cucumber is minding its business in the garden, and the next it is swimming in salty water, planning its big transformation. By the time it becomes a pickle, it already thinks it is the hero of every sandwich, acting as if the world cannot continue without its tangy bragging rights.
Pickle jokes grow from that bold attitude, as if the pickles themselves whisper goofy stories while waiting on the kitchen shelf. Writers hear those whispers and start telling tales of jars that shake with pride and snacks that roll their eyes at the drama. The fun comes from giving these crunchy stars a voice that refuses to stay quiet, making the world of pickles feel like the silliest place ever even before any real joke is told.

Best Pickle Jokes

Danny said to the woman at the deli, “I’d like to buy a corned beef and pastrami, with pickles.” She replied, “Sorry… we only take cash or card.”

A man who lived by the sea grew a cucumber so large he was able to turn it into his house. One day a bad storm flooded the area with seawater and damged his home.
Now he’s in a pickle.

What did the cucumber say to the pickle?
“AHHHHHH! A zombie!”

How does a cucumber become a pickle?
Well, it’s a jarring experience.

Long ago, all 4 nations lived in harmony. Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
Only the avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he, and I kid you not, turned himself into a pickle!

What’s black and white and green in the middle?
Two zebras fighting over a pickle.

How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment!

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Jar-Jar comes with Pickles-Pickles.

Why can’t you carry unlimited pickles in video games?
You’re over-cucmbered

Recommended: Adult Pickle Jokes

A priest opens his confessional panel to a young boy.
The boy says, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.” The priest asked, “What have you done, my son?” He replies, “I threw pickles into the well.” The priest seems a little confused but says, “Very well. Say three Hail Marys and you will be forgiven.”
Four more boys follow and say the same thing, the priest wondering eventually if he’s being pranked. Finally, a young boy, looking very upset, steps into the confessional.
“Let me guess,” says the priest, “You threw pickles into the well?”
The boy sniffs and said, “No, Father, I AM pickles!”

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
“Dill with it.”

Why couldn’t the pickle leave the bar?
Because the door was ajar!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Pickle.
(Pickle who?)
Pickle little flower and give it to your mother.

What did the pickle say to the cucumber?
“Come on in, the water’s brine.”

Been stuck in this cucumber costume so long…
That now I’m in a pickle.

Why did Costco stop selling 5-gallon jars of pickles?
Shelving them was cucumbersome.

In the early days, metal containers were the cheapest and easiest to make, so almost all food was stored in cans. Tin was a particularly soft and easy-to-mold/shape, and didn’t rust like other options, so most preserved food cans were made of tin.
Things went great for a while, with some foods easily being shipped to places they previously wouldn’t have survived due to long journeys, and families could store food to eat when it wasn’t available fresh.
However, reports of illness around certain foods started to become prevalent. Pickled foods would frequently “go bad” much sooner than other canned foods, and even though the food tasted the same, people would report illness very soon after eating older pickled products. After years of analyzing (crudely) samples of purportedly problematic pickles, scientists finally concluded the preserved foods themselves were fine—it was the cans that were the problem!
They discovered certain food solutions, like pickle brine, could “leach” harmful chemicals from tin, much faster than non-brined foods. As an experiment, they started un-canning recently preserved pickles and putting pickled food in glass containers instead of tin. Jarred pickles tasted exactly the same and were preserved just as well as their canned counterparts, but nobody got sick!
In the end, the conclusion was uncanny and jarring.

What do you call a pickle that always has the same routine?
Typickle!

People tell me we should be preserving endangered species.
But you offer someone a jar of your pickled panda and they lose their sh*t.

Why was the deli owner on the no-fly list?
He was caught trafficking pickle spears.

Just got a free pickle.
It was a helluva dill.

Where do baby pickles come from?
The dill-livery room.

Jim’s teacher used to tell him that I’d never amount to anything.
But ten years later, guess who he saw at McDonald’s? His teacher.
He served him a bic mac with no pickles, even tho the teacher wanted extra. Who’s laughing now?!

What kind of music do pickles listen to?
Vlasic Rock.

Accidentally splashed pickle juice in my eyes…
Now I’m brined.

Did you hear about the cucumber who sold his soul to be pickled?
He made a dill with the devil.

Government can hear what you say..
But McDonald can’t hear no pickles.

What do you call a genius pickle?
A Brine-iac!

A grandfather went missing after eating several cans of baked beans.
As well as a whole head of broccoli, cabbage, eggs, a jar of spicy pickles, and all washed down with black coffee.
The family of this man has reached out to the media to make a very emotional appeal.
“For the grandfather not to come home for at least a fortnight.”

Have you heard about my pickle?
It’s kind of a big dill.

What did the carrot say to the cucumber that owed him money?
“Hey man, you knew the dill. Now you’re in a pickle, and I couldn’t carrot all.”

Why are pickles always in a bad mood?
They’re always sour!

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Brine.
(Brine who?)
Briane your friend, let me in.

What do you call a pickle you buy at a great price?
A sweet Dill!

If you see a man-eating cucumber, run away!
If you stick around, you could end up in a pickle.

What’s bumpy, green, and goes “slam slam slam slam”?
A 4-door pickle.

Schrödinger’s cat.
There once was a cat in a pickle,
Whose life was not worth a nickle,
From an electron gun shot,
It both was and was not,
It’s very existence is fickle.

Why do gherkins giggle if you touch them?
They’re very pickle-ish!

What do you say to a pickle in the morning?
Rise and Brine!

What do you call a pickled deer?
A dill-doe.

How do you make an adorable pickle?
You use a cute-cumber!

How much is a golden pickle worth?
Dillions.

I fell in love with a cucumber farmer.
We had many good years together, but then, as these things do, it turned sour.
Long story short: I’m in a bit of a pickle.

What do you call a folk musician, floating in a pickle jar?
Bob Dillin’.

What happens when life gives you pickles instead of lemons?
You dill with it.

Where do pickles go to buy a car?
The dillership.

What did the pickle say to the lemon?
“I relish our time together.”

What did Franklin D. Roosevelt say after he dropped his pickle?
“I want a new dill.”

After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 pickles and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Quickly, he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 pickles.”

What’s the most important ingredient in a business burger?
The deal pickle!

Why did the pickle go to the hospital?
The pickle was dillirious.

What happens when you confuse chutney with pickles?
You chuckle.

Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Sour.
(Sour who?)
Sour you still ignoring me?!

Recommended: Chili Jokes

Why was the pickle late for work?
It got dill-ayed!

Where is the Liberty Dill situated?
In PhilaDILLphia.

What do you call a llama who’s stuck in a pickle?
Not sure, but that situation creates a dill llama.

Do you have a funny Pickle Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!