If you’re a fan of chili and love a good laugh, then you’ve come to the right place. Chili jokes are the perfect way to add some spice to your day and tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re looking for clever puns, witty one-liners, or funny stories, there’s a chili joke for everyone. From mild to spicy, these jokes will leave you in stitches and have you coming back for more.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to laugh out loud with our collection of the best chili jokes around. Whether you’re a serious chili connoisseur or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes are sure to hit the spot.
Best Chili Jokes
How do you measure the heaviness of a red hot chili pepper?
Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.
Why does Irish chili only have 239 beans?
Because anymore and it’d be too farty.
Yo mama so stupid, she heard it was chili outside so she ran outside with a spoon.
Why did the jalapeno wear a tiny jacket?
Because he was just a little chili.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Baby Jalapeño!
(Baby Jalapeño who?)
Open the door, already! It’s a little chili out here!
Did you hear about the cannibal who used a group of businessmen to make a batch of chili?
He wanted seasoned professionals.
Why can’t conservatives ever make good chili and barbeque?
Because they have to be liberal with their spices.
Why is chili so annoying?
Because it’s always Jalopeño business.
What’s the most popular chili in the Middle East?
Halalpeño.
Why did the Scottish chili pepper storage boat keep missing its deliveries?
It kept capsaicin.
Do you know how to make a good vegetarian chili?
Stick her in the freezer.
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a Labrador?
A hot diggity Dog.
What do you feed an angry person?
Chili.
What’s the most ironic food?
Chili.
A man walks into a diner and orders a bowl of hot chili.
“Sorry, but the guy next to you got the final bowl,” the waitress says.
When he looks over, he notices that the man has eaten his lunch, but the bowl of chili remains full.
“Are you going to eat that chili?” he inquires.
The other person answers, “No. Assist yourself.”
He slides the bowl of chili over and begins eating. His spoon collides with something around halfway down. He looks down and finds a dead mouse, so he pukes all the chili back into the bowl.
The other guy says, “Yeah, that’s about as far as I got, too.”
Did you know that the Irish only put 239 beans in their chili??
If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
Recommended: Fart Jokes
Why couldn’t the green chili pepper practice archery?
Cause he didn’t habanero.
What food is served hot but is always cold?
Chili.
What’s a snowman’s favorite food?
A Chili Burger.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Boo.
(Boo who?)
Don’t cry, it’s just a bowl of spicy chili!
What do dead Norseman like in their chili?
Vallhallapenos.
What’s Kim Kardashian’s favorite Mexican food?
Chili con Kanye.
What did they do to the pastor who ate too much chili?
They made him sit in his own pew.
What did the Anaheim chili say to the jalapeño?
“Don’t you look hot today!”
Why don’t chili peppers ever get lonely?
Because they habanero friends!
A gay man asked his partner to put his ashes in some spicy chili and eat it after he dies.
His partner asked, “Why in the hell would I do that?”
“So I can tear that ass up one last time”
What do you get when you cross a chili pepper with a snowman?
Frostbite!
Why did the chili pepper get in trouble with the police?
Because he was caught red-handed!
Recommended: Curry Jokes
A boy runs into his parent’s bedroom at 3 am and says, “Dad! Dad! There’s a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mom’s leftover chili!”
The dad replies, “Go back to bed, son. We’ll bury him in the morning.”
What do you get when you spice up date night?
Netflix and Chilis.
What’s the difference between a chili and rape?
One’s a pepper and one’s assault.
What do you get when you use the bathroom after cutting a jalapeño?
A red hot chili pecker.
Do you have a Chili joke? Post your own Chili puns in the comment section below!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Pepper.
Pepper who?
Pepper your angus, because here comes the chili!
“Dad, There’s a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mom’s leftover chili!”
The dad replies, “Go back to bed, son. We’ll bury him in the morning.”