Batman has been protecting Gotham City for years using sharp detective skills, high-tech gadgets, and a cape that probably needs a serious cleaning by now. Almost every night turns into a fast chase across rooftops while villains create chaos and police sirens echo through the streets. Bruce Wayne might spend his days in a huge mansion, but once the city gets dark, that is when his real work begins while everyone else is relaxing at home with snacks and blankets.
That is what makes Batman jokes so entertaining. His serious attitude, dramatic entrances, and constant battles make even simple moments feel funny once humor gets added to the mix. Gotham can look like the darkest place in the world one second, then suddenly, fans are laughing over the fact that a billionaire in a bat costume became one of the most loved superheroes ever.
Best Batman Jokes
Why would a pig dressed in black never get bullied?
Because Batman has sworn to protect goth ham.
What should you use with Batman shampoo?
Conditioner Gordon.
What’s Batman’s least favorite crime?
Robbin.
What did Batman say to the grocery store clerk?
“Got ham?”
Batman: “How do I integrate, Alfred?”
Alfred: “Know your limits, Master Wayne.”
Why does Batman only wear dark colors?
Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
Why does Robin only wear bright colors?
Easy. Batman doesn’t want to get shot.
What do you call Batman when he skips church?
Christian Bale.
When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.
That’s Arkham’s Razor.
What do you call Batman when he’s bleeding?
Bruced vein.
A blonde’s office computer had technical issues.
IT support came over to the desk and said he needed the password to access her account.
“It’s ‘MickeyMinnieBatmanSupergirlWonderwomanLondon'” she replied.
“A bit unusual for a password, how did you come up with it?” the support dude asked.
She went, “Because the computer said the password has to be at least 5 characters and have a capital.”
Do you know why Batman doesn’t have a police badge?
Because he doesn’t kill people.
Batman: “It’s been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub.”
Alfred: “Master Bruce, what’s a htub?”
Yo mama so stupid, she thought AC/DC is Batman air conditioner.
Batman: *buys Catwoman a drink*
Catwoman: *slowly knocks it off of the table.*
How does Alfred call Batman to dinner?
“Dinner Dinner, Dinner Dinner, Dinner Dinner, Dinner Dinner, BATMAN!”
12 atoms of sodium walk into a bar.
Followed by Batman.
Joker to Batman: “Hey, Batman, wanna hear a joke?”
Batman: “Yeah, sure.”
Joker: “Ok, parental love”.
Batman: “I don’t get it..”
Joker: “Exactly.”
What do Trump, Batman, and Will Smith have in common?
They all attacked a comedian.
One day Bruce Wayne learned that his great great great great great great grandmother encountered a vigilante who called himself “The Man of Bats…”
It was his Nana’s Nana’s Nana’s Nana’s Batman.
COVID brought everyone a little closer to being Batman.
Either you were wearing a mask or your parents are dead.
What’s Batman’s favorite fruit?
A Banananananananananananananananana.
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
“Get in the batmobile.”
Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the Bat Room.
A director wanted to make a movie about Batman, but sadly, D.C. wouldn’t allow him to film it.
He decided he would just make the movie anyway, but instead of using the characters’ real names, he would take away the last letter of their names.
Batman became Batma and he fought crime with his trusty partners Alfre and Robi. The film then showed the dynamic duo and their butler fighting crime all over the city.
Near the end of the movie, though, Batma is supposed to go into the criminal base and find his arch nemesis there. The filming starts, and Batma bursts through the door to the base. As he looks around, his expression is one of confusion as he says, “Where is the Joke?”
What does Batman put in his drinks?
Just ice.
Why does Batman wear a mask?
Because the citizens of Gotham aren’t morons, like those idiots over in Metropolis.
What does nihilistic Batman wear?
His futility belt.
Yo mama so fat, Bruce Wayne went bankrupt taking her for dinner.
Why doesn’t Batman have super vision?
Because his parents died.
Did you know that when someone likes you, their voice goes higher when talking to you?
That’s probably why the girls I talk to sound like batman.
People often use fiction to escape into the lives of people who don’t have to deal with the same problems as them.
For instance, whenever my parents are fighting, I like to read Batman comics.
What did they call Batman when he was little?
“Lil Wayne.”
Why did Batman turn Catwoman in to the police after she gave birth?
Because littering is a crime.
In 1995, a man went into Blockbuster.
He said, “I want to rent Batman Forever.”
The guy working there said, ” You can rent Batman, but you have to bring it back tomorrow.”
I’m half Spiderman, half Batman.
Half without superpower, half without money.
What is the value of Batman’s most precious asset?
One Pennyworth.
What kind of jokes does Batman like the most?
Dark humor.
Why is Batman jealous of Superman?
Superman got adopted.
Why doesn’t Batman like going to Robin’s house?
They don’t like rich people in Robin’s hood.
Batman and Robin get run over by a steamroller. What are their names now?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What would you call Batman if he were a bird?
Goose Wayne.
What is Batman’s favorite Indian food?
Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan Naan.
Why doesn’t Batman like Solitaire?
There’s no joker.
Yo mama so ugly, she made Batman fly.
Why did Batman collect different types of metals?
Because he was an ore fan.
You know who the coolest Batman villain is?
Mr. Freeze.
What is Batman’s catchphrase after he catches the criminals?
“Gottem.”
Why does Batman fight crime at night?
Because otherwise, he would have weird and obvious tan lines.
Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
Which is why I wear my Batman costume to the office every day.
What is Batman’s least favorite Rolling Stones album?
Exile on Bain Street.
What did the Joker say when Batman went mad?
“Why… So… Delirious???”
What do you call Batman when he’s being a psycho?
Bateman.
When Batman doesn’t use his utility belt.
It’s just a waist of equipment.
Did you hear about the casting for the new Batman movie?
People have really Ben Affleckted by it.
Why did the tree not want to talk about Batman?
Because you either dialogue or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.
Did you know that Batman’s cousin is a tree surgeon?
Spruce Wayne.
What’s the difference between Batman and a shoplifter?
Batman can go into a store without Robin.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the Joker stop laughing.
What do you call a blind Batman?
Christian Braille.
How does Batman like his coffee?
Black. Like the night.
You might think Batman was born in Gotham, but he was actually born in South Africa. Capetown, to be exact.
Why is it annoying to invite Batman to a party?
Because he keeps hanging around even when it is time to go.
What’s Batman’s favorite part of a joke?
The “PUNCH” line.
Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing together?
Because Robin ate all the worms.
Ever played chess with Batman?
He refuses to use the white pieces when he plays chess; he always has to be the Dark Knight.
What do Batman and dentures have in common?
They both come out at night.
What does Batman order at the Chinese restaurant?
Kung POW chicken.
Do you have a funnier Batman joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
