Captain America has carried that shield for so many years that people probably trust him more than their GPS. Whenever trouble starts, he charges in faster than students running out of class after the final bell. Between his serious attitude, classic manners, and hair that somehow stays perfect during every fight, it almost feels like nothing can shake him. Even the bad guys must get exhausted while he keeps showing up looking ready for the next big mission.
That is exactly why Captain America jokes are so popular. Fans enjoy taking his superhero personality and turning it into funny everyday situations because he always seems a little too perfect to be completely serious. One moment, he is busy saving the world, and the next people are joking that he would probably organize a grocery line like a military operation. His mix of action-hero energy and clean-cut style makes him fun to laugh about while still keeping him cool.
Best Captain America Jokes
Name one superhero that can beat Captain America?
Captain Vietnam.
Why did Captain America have Thor, Iron Man and The Hulk help him build LEGO?
Because, Avengers assemble.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Captain America was an actual sailor!
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar.
Hook says, “Ahoy mates, I’ll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick.” The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, “Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?”
Hook yells, “Shove it up yer stars and stripes, ya flag waving boy scout!”
America turns to Crunch, “Why’s he suddenly ‘irate’”?
Crunch says, “Well, that’s what happens when you take the P out of a pirate.”
Why did Captain America wait so long to carry Thor’s hammer?
He didn’t wanna steal his thunder.
Captain America’s shield was made of Adamantium. What was Hawkeye’s shield made of?
Quicksilver.
Yo mama so old, she babysat Captain America.
Recommended: Superhero Jokes
What was Captain America’s name when he was younger?
Lieutenant America.
How did Captain America invite Scarlet Witch to join the team?
He said, “Wanda join The Avengers?”
Captain America loses his voice due to a scheme concocted by Doctor Doom.
He tries everything. Dr Strange can’t help because he doesn’t detect any magic causing the problem. Reed Richards can’t help, because the problem isn’t explainable with science. After a barrage of failed attempts, even Tony Stark throws in the towel.
Tony finally says, “Cap, I know you’re desperate. There’s one more person we can try, but you’re not gonna like it…”
Cap mimes that he doesn’t care. So Tony takes him deep underground, below SHIELD HQ, where they keep the nastiest and most dangerous villains.
There, in one of those big airy cubes, stands Captain America’s nemesis: THE RED SKULL!
Tony explains the situation to the HYDRA commander, who then smiles and, says in a thick German accent, “Vee haff vays off making you talk!”
What do Captain America and Spain have in common?
A horrific Civil War.
How much money does it cost to make Captain America cry?
One buck.
Yo mama so fat, when she said “On your left” to Captain America, he saw her on his right too.
If Steve Rogers becomes a guitarist, what would be his superhero name?
Clapton America.
What did Captain America say when he was given his shield?
“Now this is something I can get behind.”
Captain America and Peggy Carter finally share a kiss.
Peggy Carter: “That was good.”
Steve Rogers: “Your niece thought so too!”
Which setting does Captain America search for in his Android Settings?
Language!
What did Captain America order at Starbucks?
One Iced Americano.
Which Avenger is always out in the sun?
Cap-tan America!
Yo mama so old, she knew Captain America before he was frozen in a glacier.
Why don’t Captain America and Dr. Strange respect each other?
Because there’s no honor amongst Steves.
Steve Rogers gets into Santa Claus’s automobile and is immediately shot dead.
RIP Steve Rogers.
He was capped in a merry car.
What did Iron Man say to Captain America on the walkie-talkie?
“Steve, Roger that?”
What is Steve Rogers’s favorite kind of coffee?
A Cap’nccino.
What is a superhero’s favourite TV programme?
Captain American Idol!
Do you have a funnier Captain America joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
