Back in the Stone Age, cavemen didn’t have smartphones, pizza delivery, or even socks. They spent their days chasing animals, rubbing sticks together for fire, and grunting at everything that moved. Life was tough, but cavemen had their own way of keeping things fun. And that’s where Caveman Jokes come stomping in with their club of comedy.
Caveman jokes are like a time machine made of laughter. They take us back to a world of mammoths, stone clubs, and very confused hunters. These jokes don’t need high-tech humor, they survive on simple silliness and ancient nonsense. Whether it’s about bad haircuts or trying to invent the wheel, caveman jokes make even the most serious faces go full Neander-laugh.
Best Caveman Jokes
How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?
Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.
Fun fact: Cavemen didn’t live in caves.
They actually lived in Unga bungalows.
Until cavemen invented the wheel…
…life was a real drag.
What does a caveman use to hit things while dancing in the dark?
A nightclub.
Two cavemen were watching Jesus make coffee.
“He brew,” one of them noted.
Caveman discovers weed.
Caveman discovers fire.
Stone Age begins.
What do you call a wandering caveman?
A Meanderthal.
D’you know why early cavemen wore no pants?
They were all stuck with stalagtights.
What do you call it when a caveman has a hyperactivity disorder?
BCHD.
A caveman and a bear walk into a bar.
Bartender says, “Okay, what’s your story?”
Caveman replies, “Bear with me.”
Did you know there was no such thing as the Tooth Fairy in caveman times?
Yeah, instead they had the Save-your-tooth Tiger.
Where did cavemen put their criminals?
In the Concave.
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“We need to talk…”
Thought the caveman…
What did the Mammoth say to the naked caveman?
“How can you even breathe outta that little thing?”
What do you call a caveman’s fart?
A blast from the past.
Two cavemen are walking through the woods.
When the first one suddenly puts out his hand to stop the second. The first caveman points and says, “Look!”
The second caveman asks, “Hmm?”
The first caveman repeats, “Look!”
The second caveman looks closely to where the first caveman is pointing and sees a pile of poop on the ground where he had almost stepped in it. The second caveman says, “Look like poop.”
The first caveman says, “Smell.”
The second caveman asks, “Hmm?”
The first caveman repeats, “Smell!”
The second caveman gets down on the ground close to the poop and takes a big whiff. “Smell like poop,” he says.
“Touch,” says the first caveman.
“Hmm?!” the second caveman asks.
“Touch,” repeats the first caveman.
The second caveman pokes the poop and says, “Feel like poop.”
The first caveman says, “taste.”
The second caveman exasperatedly asks, “HMMM?!!”
To which the first caveman repeats, “taste.”
The second caveman reluctantly tastes his soiled finger clicking his mouth to get a clear taste. “Taste like poop,” he says.
The first caveman says, “Good thing you no step in.”
A child caveman had a conversation with an adult caveman about their age.
I kid you not.
Why did the caveman get fired?
Because he was knapping on the job.
What is a caveman’s favorite type of music?
Rock n’ Roll.
How do single cavemen get girls?
They go clubbing.
What is a caveman’s favorite audio compression algorithm?
OGG.
Two cavemen were chiseling on slabs of rock in a cave
Suddenly, one of the cavemen shouted, “I’ve did it! I’ve discovered zero!”
The other caveman asked, “What is it?”
The first caveman replied, “Oh, nothing.”
What do you get when you mix an amphibian and a caveman?
A froglodyte.
Why was the 18 year old caveman so troubled?
He was having a midlife crisis.
What do cavemen sleep on?
Bedrock.
What is a caveman’s favorite band?
AC/BC.
What is a caveman’s favorite music genre?
Rock.
During the annual cavemen conference..
Greg said, “So I kept rubbing this rock against another rock until it became very thin, and now I can cut vegetables and meat using this. I call this ‘The Knife.’”
Chief Gogo said, “Wow, I thought no one could beat Gorg’s invention of using wheat flour and water to create a new food called ‘bread, ‘ but yours is a worthy contender.
Greg replied, “That’s not it, chief.”
And then places a piece of bread on the stone and takes the knife in his hand
“What I’m about to do will blow your mind.”
Why are cavemen afraid of skeletons?
Sticks and stones can’t break their bones…
What did the caveman say when the cat scratched him?
“Me ow.”
A caveman asked another, “What is anachronism?”
The reply was, “Not sure, let me Google it first.”
There are two cavemen sitting by a fire…
One is eating some bugs he found, and he says to the other, “You like beetles?”
His friend replies, “No. CRUNCH CRUNCH Me more of a stones guy.”
What do you call a rich caveman’s child?
A pre-villaged kid.
Why do smart cavemen do their tests on stone tablets?
Because the tests are harder.
Once upon a time, there were two cavemen overlooking the tundra…
Caveman 1: “Hey, look! A flock of elephants!”
Caveman 2: “Herd?”
Caveman 1: “Heard of what?”
Caveman 2: “Herd of elephants.”
Caveman 1: “Of course I have! There’s a flock of them, right over there!”
Did you hear they discovered a soda cavemen drank?
It’s a carbon dated beverage…
What’s a caveman’s favorite sandwich?
A Club Sandwich.
Where do cavemen go to get their clothes fixed?
Thread Flinstone.
Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?
Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they’d fill up with dirt.
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Why did the caveman musician like to play during landslides?
Cause it was a real rock concert.
A pair of cavemen were debating what to hunt for that day.
“Me say go to big lake and get big fish,” said the first caveman. “Big fish cook in fire, feed families good.”
“Me no want fish,” said the second caveman. “Me say go to great plain, hunt mammoth. Mammoth big and hairy, make much meat for families and hair for blankets.”
“You want hair and meat?” Asked the first caveman. “Then hunt the biggest, hairiest beast.”
“What beast that?” Asked the second caveman.
And so the first caveman said, “Your mother.”
What did cavemen use to prevent infections?
Paleosporin.
What do you call the slimy stuff between dinosaurs’ toes?
Slow cavemen.
What should you do if you hurt a caveman’s feelings?
You should anthropologize!
A caveman is in biology class.
“What eye do?” asks the caveman.
The teacher replies, “Well, eyes take in light through the retinas, and your photoreceptors turn those lights into signals for the brain. The brain then turns those signals into images.”
The caveman says, “Oh, eye see.”
What is a caveman’s favorite flavour of gum?
Spearmint.
Which movie do cavemen dislike most?
Ice Age.
Who did all the counting for caveman?
The woolly mam-MATHs
Two cavemen are lamenting their situation in a cave. One tells the other the following:
“Something’s just not right. Our air is clean, our water is pure, we all get plenty of exercise, everything we eat is organic and free-range, and yet nobody lives past thirty.”
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Why do cavemen never get angry?
They’re no-mads.
Scientists have just discovered evidence of cavemen using frogs as c0ndoms.
Ribbit for her pleasure.
What did the caveman say when he tried to make love in his dark cave?
“I f*cking rock.”
What’s the difference between a scientist and a g@y man?
If you put a scientist near a cave man it’s a homo-erectus, put a g@y man near a caveman and it’s a erect homo.
Do you have a funny Caveman Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
I asked my caveman friend Cal if he saw the bones ahead of us.
Calcium.