Cuckold is all about a man who finds out his partner is a little too friendly with someone else, usually behind his back and often in his own bed. The word “cuckold” goes way back to medieval times, when people had way too much time and not enough loyalty. These jokes take that awkward situation and give it a twist of dark humor, where the man is always the last to know, and the punchline is usually way too honest for comfort.
Cuckold jokes walk the line between scandal and comedy, making them perfect for folks who like their laughs a little messy. They’re the kind of jokes you’d hear when someone’s had one drink too many and no filter left. In these stories, the poor guy becomes the setup, the twist, and the punchline all at once—and somehow, it’s hilarious every time.
Dirty Cuckold Jokes
When your wife tells you she cheated, I know there’s the temptation to ask, “With who?” Resist it.
Instead, ask “With whom?” Speak proper English no matter the circumstances.
My girlfriend made me set my jerkoff sock out in front of us while she gave me a bl*w job.
She’s a sock cucking c*ck sucker.
A duck had s*x with a chicken as the rooster watched with great excitement.
This somehow managed to created a new species, which was named after the rooster. The scientist called this species the “Cuck”.
Cuckolding is 100% not for me.
I couldn’t f*ck someone else if my wife depended on it.
How to tell if a person is a stock market trader or a cuckolding enthusiast?
Ask them the opposite of ‘bull’.
My wife says romance is better on vacation.
I wish she hadn’t told me via postcard.
Who sits happily and watches people spreading misinformation?
A cuckold Mister-information.
What do you call a greedy person who likes to watch other people have s*x?
Scrooge McCuck.
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Finally got my first role in a p*rn movie!!!
I’m the husband leaving for work.
What do you call a large group of men who recently found out they’ve been cheated on?
A Fluster Cuck.
You can’t spell “cuck”.
Without the UK.
A woman is cheating on his husband and having group s*x with three men…
When all of a sudden, the husband returns home from work early.
In a panic, the three men run to the backyard stark naked, and looking around, they see three large garbage bags and decide to hide in them and so each one gets into a bag.
The husband comes in the bathroom, sees his wife all naked and sweaty and immediately realizes what’s going, sees the door leading to the backyard open, grabs his shotgun and runs outside ready to commit murder, “I’ll kill the b@stard!”
Once outside, he sees the three bags and realizing the level of cuckolding he’s been subjected to, decides to have some fun first. He approaches the first bag and gives it a soft kick, from inside the first man lets out a “Baaa, baaa…”
“Oh”, growls the man out loud, “there’s a sheep in that bag.”
He moves on to the second bag and gives that one a kick and from inside the second guy lets out a “Buuk, buk, buk, buk…”.
“We seem to have a chicken in this bag” hisses the man and moves on an gives the third bag a kick. Nothing happens.
He steps back and gives the bag a harder kick boiling with anger and again nothing happens. Starting to see red, he gives the bag a kick with all his might and stomps it a couple of times and from inside the third guy moans, “It’s a bag of potatoes you a$$hole, potatoes”!
Will Smith’s next movie.
One flew over the cuckold’s nest.
Wondering why ‘cuck’ has become the new insult of choice among basement dwellers and neck beards?
They finally found an insult that can never be used against them.
What do cuckolds and landlords have in common?
Neither of them wants to give you your deposit back.
What should a guy call his sister’s daughter if the sister’s husband is a cuckold?
Daughter.
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Why did the cuckold slap the comedian?
Because when his wife asked the comedian to pull her hair, the cuck didn’t expect the comedian to use a plunger.
A man finds out his wife was cheating on him, so he hires a Hitman to take her out.
The two are sitting in a room, across the street from a hotel room the wife rented. The Hitman has his sniper rifle aimed through the window into the wife’s room.
“My sniping service is charged on a per-bullet basis, ya know,” the Hitman reminds the cuckold
“No problem, just headshot that b*tch.” the man replies.
“Oh, looks like a man just walked into the room. We have a witness problem.”
“That’s probably the guy she banged! You know what…shoot his c*ck off while you’re at it! “
“Fine as long as you’ll pay for the extra bullet…oh wait..”
The man looks at him, puzzled, “Never mind, I can do it with one now.”
A woman, a murderer, a liar, a thief, and a cuckold walk into a bar.
The bartender asks: “What will it be, Mrs. Clinton?”
How many cuckolds does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. Somebody else does the screwing for ’em.
A cuckold’s fantasy dilemma.
After returning home from the family reunion, your wife surprises you by announcing that your p*nis is much larger than both of your brothers c*cks!
If a chicken and a duck laid an egg that hatched.
Would the offspring be called a Cuck or a Dick?!
What do you call it when a duck sleeps with his goose friend’s wife?
Duck cuck goose.
What do you call a martial artist who watches his wife bang other guys?
Cuck Norris.
How do you spot a cuckold?
He’ll be wearing his military uniform.
What do you call a male member of an avian family who also loves to watch his exact equivalent of a wife get f*cked by another male version of this same family?
A cuckerel.
As per cuckold definition, what is the worst cuckold/cuck thing a man can do in life?
Raising his daughter for 20 years and then letting her marry some other unknown man.
Do you have a dirty Cuckold joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
