Laughter is like magic for kids—it brightens their day, makes them feel happy, and helps them connect with others. When kids laugh, it’s like they’re sharing a little bit of joy with everyone around them. Humor is also a great way for kids to deal with challenges, like that tough math problem or a long day at school. A good laugh can turn a bad mood into a good one, almost like flipping a switch. That’s why it’s so important to fill their lives with Clean Jokes for Kids.
Now, when it comes to humor, it’s all about keeping the fun rolling without worrying about anything being too tricky or confusing. Kids love jokes that are simple, silly, and easy to understand, like the ones they can share with their friends at recess or during a family dinner. These clean jokes are like the secret ingredient to a perfect day, adding a sprinkle of fun to every moment. So, whether it’s a rainy afternoon or just another day at school, a few good jokes can make any kid’s day a lot brighter.
Best Kids’ Jokes
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Where does the egg come out of a chicken?
The egg-zit!
Why can’t you put two half dollars in your pocket?
Two halves make a whole(hole) and your money will fall out!
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
What sound do robots make on the toilet?
Peepoop-peepoop-peepoop.
How do you make a sausage roll?
Push it down a hill.
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a peice of cake!
What do you call a dance party of giraffes in the middle of the street?
A giraffic jam.
What do you call a hen who counts her eggs?
A mathemachicken.
How can you tell if spaghetti is a boy or a girl?
Meatballs.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Where do you take someone injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?
To the ICU.
Why did the moon skip dinner?
Because it was full.
Why did the chicken climb on top of the house?
He was a Roofster.
Why can’t you trust trees?
Because they’re shady.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What’s blue and not very heavy?
Light Blue.
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Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems.
Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days?
Because all the other days are week days.
Why do scuba divers roll backwards off the boat?
Cause if they rolled forwards they’d still be on the boat.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show he had guts.
Did you know that they are bringing out a version of The Lord of the Rings for young children?
Apparently they are changing Legolas’ name to ‘Duplolas’!
What kind of water reptile can solve any mystery?
An investi-gator!
What’s blue and smells like a red crayon?
A blue crayon.
How do astronauts get clean?
A meteor shower.
What do frogs in Paris eat?
French flies!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?
A shoe.
How do bees get to school?
The school buzz!
What do you call a moose with no name?
Anonymoose.
How do you tell the difference between a chicken egg and a duck egg?
A duck egg has a quack in it.
What do cows have on their hotdogs?
Moostard.
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Piiig.
What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?
Cheez Was.
What kind of fish goes great with peanut butter?
A jellyfish!
How do you make holy water?
You take some tap water and boil the heck out of it.
Why do penguins live in the cold?
Because they are brrrrrrrrds!
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Nevermind, it’s too cheezy.
What’s the poopiest dinosaur?
The velocicraptor.
What do you call a donkey with 3 legs?
A wonky.
What do you call a dinosaur who crashed his car?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Why was the pig in the kitchen?
Because he was bacon!
What do you call an animal that ate too much food?
A stuffed animal!
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
What happens if a frog hits your car?
You get toad.
What kind of jokes do farmers like?
Corny Jokes.
Where do pigs go to travel by air?
At the airpork.
Why doesn’t the cow live here anymore?
He moooooved.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A frog croaks every night, but a cat has nine lives.
What does a pig call his dad’s brother?
An Oinkle.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he didn’t see that well.
Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
Because if they raise both legs they would fall down!
What is a police officer’s favorite dessert?
Cop-cakes!
What kind of dog can do magic?
A labracadabrador.
What rock group has four guys who don’t sing?
Mt. Rushmore.
What do you call lemon doctors?
Lemonade!
How do mermaids keep in touch?
They use their shell-phones!
How does an octopus go to war?
Well armed!
Where do cows like to do their shopping?
Amoooooozon.
What did the pizza say to the apple?
“It’s slice to meet you.”
Why was the Magnolia tree so sad?
It didn’t have any buds.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
How does the cat cook such good food?
He makes everything from scratch.
What do cats give after the play is over?
Apaws.
If a ton of milk spilled onto the street, what would you call it?
The Milky Way.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn’t peeling well.
How do you know that owls don’t know who they are?
Because they always ask “Who? Who?”
What did the salmon say when it got caught?
“Oh no, I’m currently in danger! Help!”
Why did the cheese go to school?
To get grated….
What did the vegan zombie say?
Gggggrrrraaaaiiinnnnsssss.
What is the cat’s favorite color?
Purr-ple.
Why are penguins good at races?
Because they’re peng-wins!
What do you call a T-Rex with no eyes?
Eyeless.
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot because you can catch a cold.
What is the capital of Texas?
“T”.
What do all the cool kids learn at school?
Algebrah.
What do frozen Mice turn into?
Mice-icles!
What’s got a bottom at the top?
A leg.
What did the watermelon ask of his neighbor when he was on vacation?
“Water ma lawn.”
Why are umpires so fat?
Because they always clean their plate.
What music is a balloon afraid of?
Pop music.
What is it called when two guys slip on ice?
Fall guys!
How do scientists freshen their breath?
With experi-mints.
Why did the pony get in trouble?
Because he was horsing around.
Why are dogs good fighters?
Because they are ruff!
Why did the chicken go around the world?
Because it was an egg-splorer.
What do you call a huge pile of cats?
A MEOW-ntain.
What does a racehorse eat?
Fast food.
Why was the empty stadium so hot?
Because there were no fans in it.
What are the most popular arts and crafts in the wizarding world?
Harry Pottery.
What do you call two witches who live together?
Broom mates.
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Cause he never lands.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other Slide!
Why was Tigger in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh.
How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
Where does a rose sleep?
In a flower bed!
What did the nut say when it sneezed?
“Cashew!”
What do the Vikings drive in Norway?
Fjord Explorers.
How do you make a hotdog stand?
You take away its chair.
What do you call a goat that bumps into another goat?
A ram.
Who cleans the ocean?
The Mermaids.
Why shouldn’t you try to eat a clock?
Because it’s very TIME consuming!
How do you shoot bees?
With a Bee-Bee gun.
Why did the jockey put butter on his horse?
Because it was pure-bread.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
Why do they call seagulls seagulls?
Because if they flew over the bay they’d be bagels!
What did the tongue say to the other tongue?
We’re taste buds!
Who would win if all the calendar months had a race?
January. It always finishes first.
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism.
What week do guinea pigs always think it is?
Wheek wheek!
What kind of dreams do squirrels have?
Nut-mares.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its website.
What’s the cat’s favorite dinner?
Spaghetti and meat paws.
What did the turtle say when it was happy?
“Oh shell yeah!”
Why did the soup get in trouble?
Because it was in hot water!
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Same middle name.
Where do you send a wounded potato?
To M.A.S.H.
Two snowmen were standing in a yard.
One turns to the other and says, “You’re right. I can smell carrots.”
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What do you call it when you bury guacamole?
Guac-a-holee.
Why did the musician go to KFC?
To get a new drum stick!
What did 8 do to 7?
He ate 7.
Why can’t Elsa from Frozen have a balloon?
Because she will “let it go, let it go.”
What do you call a gator that is always late?
A later gator.
What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
What kind of grades do pirates get?
High Cs!
Where do you go to learn to make ice-cream?
Sundae school.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts!
Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they are stuffed.
Why did the elephant meet the snake on top?
Because he was lonely.
How do you stop an Ox from charging?
You take its credit card.
What do ducks watch on television?
Duckumentaries.
How did the guy with one leg get in the car?
He just hopped in.
Why did the guy named Rob get arrested after getting cold?
For Robburry!
What do you call birds that stick together?
Velcrows.
How many legs does a horse have?
Ten. Two hind legs and two four legs. Two fours are eight plus two is ten.
What happens when you throw a stick of butter out of the window?
You see butterfly.
Why shouldn’t you play a board game in the forest?
Because there’s gonna be cheetahs (cheaters).
What do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug.
What do you find between elephants’ toes?
Slow natives.
What is more amazing than a talking dog?
A spelling bee.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
What do frogs order at the drive-thru?
A McRibbit, large fly, and a Diet Croak.
What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A stamp.
Why did Mickey Mouse get hit by a snowball?
Because Donald ducked.
How do you make seven an even number?
Remove the S.
Why did the phone go to the dentist?
He had bluetooth.
Why are dogs such bad dancers?
They have two left feet.
Why is Cinderella awful at sports?
She always runs away from the ball.
Where do sharks go on vacation?
Fin-land.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
Do you have a funny joke for kids? Write down the clean puns in the comment section below!
