Kim Jong Un is a name that conjures up images of military parades, gravity-defying hairstyles, and a secretive regime where the Leader’s mystical talents apparently include everything from scoring a perfect game in bowling to composing operas. Let’s be clear; North Korea’s Supreme Leader isn’t just a politician—he’s a one-man show, an enigma wrapped in a riddle, topped with a haircut you can spot from space. Whether he’s claiming to have cured hangovers with magical ginseng or single-handedly ending a drought by shooting 11 holes-in-one in a round of golf, Kim Jong Un’s life story reads like the back of a comic book.
Why, then, is the internet teeming with Kim Jong Un jokes? Well, humor is one way people cope with situations that are bewildering, bizarre, or downright terrifying. Also, it’s challenging to take anyone too seriously when they claim to have never, um, used a restroom in their life. So, from memes that ask whether he’s actually “Kim Jong Ill” or “Kim Jong Unavailable,” to jokes about how he could probably win an Olympic gold medal in Hide and Seek, the jests flow like a river of irony through the mountains of propaganda.
But let’s not forget, tucked within every laugh is a nugget of social critique, asking us to ponder on the realities that make these jokes simultaneously hilarious and a little heartbreaking.
Best Kim Jong Un Jokes
What did Kim Jong-Un say before he died?
“My Korea is over!”
Why is Kim Jong-Un so chubby?
Because he never had to run for his office.
How many North Koreans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. The Supreme Leader says we are okay to be in the dark.
Why does Kim Jong Un love books?
Because he is the Supreme Reader.
Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel?
He doesn’t have a seoul.
Kim Jong-un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student, “Who is your father?
When Kim Jong-Un met Joe Biden some questioned whether he could actually speak.
It has now been reported that Biden actually managed several sentences in almost fluent English.
A North Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells “Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!” and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.
What size soda does Kim Jong-Un buy at 7-11?
A supreme liter.
What’s the difference between North Korea and the US?
North Koreans can’t tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can’t tell if their leader is dead serious.
Why does North Korea excel at drawing straight lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler
What’s Kim Jong Un’s favorite step of mitosis?
Nuclear division.
The student replies, “The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father.”
Kim Jong beams. “Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?”
The student doesn’t hesitate. “The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilizations, she is our only mother.”
Kim Jong applauds, “What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you’re older?”
The student replies “An orphan.”
Kim Jong-un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.
Oops, spelled nuclear wrong.
Why didn’t Kim Jong Un cry when he heard his half brother, Kim Jong Nam, had been killed?
Because the news was unbereaveable.
Why is Kim Jong-Un such a good gardener?
Cause he’s the supreme weeder.
Why did Kim Jong Un Instagram his missile?
It was the only way he could send it.
North Korea announced it had successfully landed a man on the Sun.
During a live interview with Kim Jong-un, a reporter asked, “The Sun is very hot! How did you land a man?” Kim proudly replied, “We launch at night!”
Meanwhile, Biden tweeted while watching the live, “Haha what an idiot! There is no Sun at night!”
Who will be Kim Jong-Un’s successor?
Kim Jong-Deux.
Did you hear about the surgeon who botched Kim Jong Un’s surgery?
Yeah, me neither.
What do Schrodinger’s cat and Kim Jong-un have in common?
They’re both alive and dead until you see them!
Recommended: Putin Jokes
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un are discussing their countries, and decide to have a contest to see whose soldiers are more obedient.
They are in a hotel at the top of a mountain near a cliff.
Vladimir Putin instructs a soldier to run and jump off the cliff. The soldier says “Please Putin, I have a wife and children!” Putin lets him go.
Kim Jong Un instructs a soldier to jump. The soldier runs to jump off the cliff. Putin grabs him before he can, telling him not to jump. The soldier says “Please Putin, I have a wife and children!”
What would Kim Jong Un call his children?
His young’uns.
Did you hear that Kim Jon Un is reported to be sick?
He is now Kim Jong Ill.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un’s ballistic missile.
Why is Japan afraid of Kim Jong-un?
Because they remember what the last fat man did to them.
Biden, Sunak, and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS.
Biden turns to them and shouts, “Stop chasing us and I’ll pay you a million dollars!” The terrorists continued.
Then Sunak turns to them and shouts, “Stop chasing us and I’ll give you the UK citizenship!” The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts, “You are about to cross the border into the People’s Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!”
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
What do you call a North Korean joke?
A Kim Jong Pun.
If Kim Jong Un were assassinated, what would you call his gunshot wound?
A Korea-ending injury!
Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn’t let people leave North Korea.
Kim Jung Un has said, “The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea.”
Who hosts the Late Night Show in North Korea?
Jimmy Kim-il.
Kim Jong-un decides he wants to go hunting and takes his three top ministers with him, the Minister of the Interior, the Minister of Defense, and the Minister of Propaganda.
After a short while of stomping around in the woods, they come across some ducks. Kim turns to his Minister of the Interior.
“Shoot the ducks!” he orders.
The Minister of the Interior raises his shotgun, aims, fires, and misses all the ducks.
Kim stares at him. The ducks start flying away. Kim turns to his Minister of Defense.
“Shoot the ducks!” he orders.
The Minister of Defense raises his shotgun, shoots at the flock of ducks, and misses.
Kim stares angrily at him, grabs his own shotgun, raises it, fires, and misses.
Immediately the Minister of Propaganda shouts “Look! Flying dead ducks!”
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one, Kim Jong has a short one, Mickey Mouse’s isn’t human, the Pope doesn’t use his, and Cher doesn’t have one. What is it?
Last Names.
What do you call a Kim Jong Un clone?
Kim Jong dos.
Kim Jong Un walked into a bar
The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump.
Kim Jong Un visits a pig farm somewhere in rural North Korea. A photograph of him with some pigs is taken.
The caption reads: Several pigs surrounding Dear Leader (3rd from left)
Kim Jong Un went to get his palm read.
“Ah”, said the mystic. “One year from now I see great glory in your future.
Two years from now I see even greater glory.
Three years from now the glory is joined by love.
However, I must warn you that past that I can read nothing of your future.”
At this, the dictator gets a bit panicked. “Do you mean to tell me that my enemies seek to kill me and will destroy glorious Korea in 4 years time?”
“No, no”, assures the fortune teller. “Your existence and that of Korea continues beyond the next three years, I just can’t read any of it because I can’t read Chinese.”
Who is the Supreme leader of House Techno Music?
Kim Jong Untz-untz-untz-untz.
What weighs 20 times a North Korean?
Kim Jong Un.
What’s a North Korean’s Favourite Card Game?
Kim Jong Uno.
Kim-Jong un wanted to know what his citizens thought of him, so he disguised himself as a regular citizen and went out.
In the streets of Pyongyang, he approached a man and asked, “What do you think of our Great Leader?”
The man, not knowing that he was speaking to Kim, said: “Follow me. I don’t want anyone to hear me.”
He took Kim to a dark, quiet alley where no one would hear. Kim then repeated the question, “What do you think of our Great Leader?”
The man then went closer, and whispered in his ears, “I support our Great Leader!”
What do you call a potato on Kim Jong Un’s balls?
A dictator.
How many doubles does Kim Jong-un have?
None, there is not enough food in North Korea for second Kim Jong-un.
What did Kim Jong Un text his girlfriend?
“Send nukes.”
What’s Kim Jong Un’s favorite game?
Don’t Starve Together.
Do you have a funny Kim Jong Un joke? Write down your own Kim Jong Un puns in the comment section below!
The current whereabouts of NK dictator still an Kim Jong-Unsolved mystery
When asked to comment, officials stated that the investigation was still Kim Yo-Jongoing.
What do Kim Jong Un and Vladimir Putin have in common?
A borderline psychopathy.