Potatoes are the quiet heroes of the kitchen. From humble dirt to golden fries, they seem ordinary but are secretly full of surprises. Farmers dig them up with a sense of pride, while chefs whisper to them about secret recipes. Potatoes don’t complain, even when they’re boiled, mashed, or baked, yet they manage to make every meal feel special.
Potato jokes take that ordinary hero and give it a mischievous twist. They sneak into conversations, turning everyday meals into laugh-out-loud moments. People love finding clever ways to make potatoes seem alive, smart, or even a little sassy. With these jokes, the humble spud steps into the spotlight, proving it’s not just food, it’s a source of endless fun.
Best Potato Jokes
What do you call a reluctant potato?
A hesitater.
What do you call a movie about uncooked potatoes?
Mashin’ Impossible.
Just before sweet potatoes are mashed, they become very quiet.
This is known as “the silence of the yams”.
What do you call holy men who are obsessed with deep-fried potato products?
Chipmunks!
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Potatoes.
(Potatoes who?)
Potatoes don’t have a last name, silly!
What do you call a cat that can turn into a potato?
A mew-tater!
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
Ones a heated yam, and ones a yeeted ham.
Jack has been trying to find an alarm clock made out of a potato…
…ever since he had a meeting with his boss about arriving late for work, and he told him, “Get a potato clock.”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A spectator.
Recommended: Corn Jokes
Yo mama so fat, she sat on a potato and turned it into a chip.
What do you call fake potatoes?
Imitaters.
Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
What do you call 2 potatoes that hate each other?
Starch enemies.
A lemon, a potato, and a pea all had a tough week working at the grocery store so they decided to let off some steam with a bar crawl at the weekend.
They had a great time, hitting bar after bar, knocking back drinks, but being so genetically different, the alcohol affected them each in different ways: the lemon got very acidic and refluxy; the potato, being a big starchy chap, took the booze in his stride; while the little pea reacted to all the sugar and started to get a touch hyperactive.
At the end of the night, the three friends found themselves leaving a bar at the top of a tall hill, when all of a sudden the pea started bouncing up and down excitedly: “Lads! Lads! I’ve got a great idea! We’re all vaguely round in shape, let’s not get a cab home, let’s just roll down the hill!” and before the others could protest he was off – shooting down the hill at a rate of knots.
The lemon lurched after him, but soon started listing violently from side to side as he went, owing to his oval shape, which did nothing for his unsettled stomach. With a sigh, the potato trundled along slowly behind.
By the time the potato had bounced his way to the bottom of the hill, the lemon was spewing lemon juice all over the pavement, but the pea was already jumping up and down again. “That was great, that was great, let’s do it again!”.
The lemon was now chundering up pips with the acid, but the pea didn’t seem to care. “Come on! Let’s go again, that was great!”.
The potato turned to him and said, “Easy peasy, lemon’s queasy.”
Did you hear they’re remaking The Princess Bride with an all-potato cast?
“Hello, my name is Idaho Montoya. You peeled my father. Prepare to fry.”
How do you season a tiny baked potato?
Sparsley.
Waitress, “How did you find your steak tonight?”
“I looked next to my potatoes and there it was”…
Recommended: Pumpkin Jokes
How do you know when you’ve hurt a potato?
You’ve hurt It’s peelings.
A farmer once told me not to tell secrets in the garden.
The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk.
What kind of potato gives the best milk?
Lactaters.
A boy was feeling very nervous about his first date, so went to his father for advice. “My son, there are three subjects that always work with women: food, family, and philosophy.” The boy picks up his date and they stare at each other for a long time. The boy’s nervousness builds, but he then asks: “Do you like potato pancakes?”
“No,” comes the answer, and the silence returns like a suffocating blanket. “Do you have a brother?” “No.” After giving it some thought, the boy plays his last card: “If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?”
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head solve their arguments?
They hash it out.
What is Bruce Banner’s favorite kind of potato?
HULK’S MASH!
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Potato.
(Please come right in!!)
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Mr Potato Head just joined our brass band.
He’s the First Tuber.
Recommended: Gourd Jokes
What do you call a yam in a hotel?
A suite potato!
A potato dad is talking to his potato daughters about who they want to marry.
The first daughter says, “Dad, I want to marry a Yukon Gold!” The dad replies, “Honey, that’s a great idea. Yukon Golds are renowned for their versatility and will make you very happy.
The second daughter says, “Dad, I want to marry a russet.” Dad approves of this choice too, since russet potatoes are well-known for being good, traditional potatoes.
The third daughter then says, “Dad, I want to marry Bill Maher!” Dad is flabbergasted and exclaims, “But honey! He’s just a common-tater!”
What vegetable is kind to everyone?
A sweet potato.
If Beyoncé was a potato, what would her most popular song be?
All the Pringle ladies.
You should never tell secrets to Mr. Potato Head.
That guy has loose lips.
How do potatoes get to the moon?
They fly in space-chips.
How do potatoes connect to the internet?
They use Wi-Fry!
What happens when you roast a potato?
It cries.
A couple of days ago, Mark was driving down the interstate with his wife when they noticed what looked like a small spill from a produce truck.
Several bags of purple potatoes were scattered on the roadside, with a few rolling onto the pavement and getting mashed. Mark turned to his wife and said, “I always get stuck in traffic yams.”
One potato looks to another potato and says, “Are you a sweet potato?”
The potato responds, “I yam.”
What do you call a potato wearing glasses?
A spectator.
What do you call a cat that can turn into a potato?
A mew-tater!
Why did the potato go to school?
To get tot.
What did Carl Sagan say to the sack of potatoes?
“You are all made of starch stuff.”
A man’s three daughters are wondering how they got their names.
“Daddy, why is my name Violet?” the first girl asks.
“Because a violet fell on your head when you were born, dear,” her father answers.
“Daddy, why is my name Rose?” the second girl asks.
“Because a rose fell on your head when you were born, dear,” her father answers.
“My favorite color is potato,” the third girl says.
“Shut up, Brick!”
What do you call a disruptive potato?
An agi-tater.
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies!
What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
Anyone can mash potatoes.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
Mashed potato.
What do you call the children of couch potatoes?
Tater tots!
David said he was going to start a website dedicated to revealing secret recipes featuring vegetables from the same family as onions and garlic, especially ones that go well with potatoes.
He planned to call it wikileeks.com.
What animal loves potatoes?
The hippotatomus!
What is the most “couch potatoe” of all potatoes?
Lay’s, of course.
What do you call a spinning potato?
A ro-tator!
How do fries tiptoe?
On their potatoes.
What do you call an offensive potato?
Harsh Brown.
What do you call Buddhist potatoes?
Medi-taters.
What do you call potatoes that have been quarantined?
Home fries.
What do you call a potato with a YouTube channel?
A YouTuber.
A guy walks into the doctor’s office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a potato in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.”
A potato walks into a bar…
All eyes are on him.
How do potatoes measure their speed?
The spudometer, of course.
How do you make potato bread?
With pota-dough.
What do you call a Sith potato?
Darth Tater.
What do you call a fried potato that is being held hostage?
A bargaining chip.
What do you call the king of the potatoes?
The potentater.
A potato and a sweet potato were playing on the playground.
The sweet potato told the potato, “Hey, I just found out I’m related to you.”
The potato said, “No, you’re are not!”
The sweet potato said back, “Yes, I yam.”
What do you call a man holding potato, carrots, meat, and broth in a pot?
Stew.
What do you call a pastry made from a potato?
A spud muffin.
Recommended: Adult Potato Jokes
Did you hear they found a rectangular potato?
And it had a square root.
Why did the potato pay the fine?
It didn’t want to appeal.
Which day of the week is a potato’s worst day?
Fryday.
Why are potatoes better for your vision than carrots?
They start life within their eyes!
What’s more Irish than potatoes?
No potatoes.
Do you have a funny Potato Joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
I couldn’t find the thingy that peels the potatoes and the carrots, so I asked the kids…
Apparently, she left me two days ago.
Every time I go to dinner with my parents, they constantly argue about the mashed potatoes, rice or french fries…
And I always tell them that I’m not choosing sides.
I found out my baked potato was allergic to sour cream,
It broke out in chives.