Star Trek is that famous space adventure where humans, aliens, and even talking computers team up to boldly go where no one has gone before. With starships zooming through galaxies, captains giving dramatic speeches, and crew members pressing shiny buttons, the series has given us endless drama, action, and a touch of deep wisdom. But after all those epic voyages, there’s something else fans love even more, the jokes.
Our Stra Trek jokes are like a secret warp drive for your laughter, taking you straight from serious space missions to pure fun. Fans often use them as a way to keep the adventure alive when they’re not watching episodes or debating which captain is the best. These funnies turn even the toughest battles with alien species into lighthearted moments, showing that in the end, humor is just as important as phasers and starships.

Best Star Trek Jokes

Boy: “Dad, how come there are no Jews, Christians or Muslims in Star Trek?”
Dad: “Cause it’s the future son!”

What kind of dip do they serve on the Star Trek Enterprise?
Spockamole.

Steve accidentally went to a Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca…
It was a Wookie mistake.

What is Captain Kirk’s least favorite type of nut?
Pe-KAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!

Where do Star Trek fans work out?
At the He’s Dead Gym.

What’s a good name for a Star Trek themed band made up of nihilists?
Existence is Futile.

Yo mama so fat, when she auditioned for Star Trek she bent the space-time continuum.

Why does this Star Trek uniform stink?
William Shatner.

Why did Worf change his hair color?
It was a good day to dye.

What’s worse than Klingon food?
Romulan music.

Where does Riker prefer to spend his shore leave?
Indiana.

A Klingon, a Vulcan, a Human, a Betazoid, and a Cardassian enter a bar.
“What kind of a joke are you?” the Ferengi bartender asks, surprised to see such a drinking party.
“The federation,” answers the Cardassian calmly.

What does Spock say when he changes a fluorescent light bulb?
“Live long and phosphor!”

Did you know Captain Kirk has an ear on his forehead made from old records?
It’s a vinyl front ear.

Did you know Ricardo Montalban had trouble landing new roles after doing Star Trek 2?
Seems Hollywood doesn’t like to hire ex-Khans.

Yo mama so fat, even Spock thought she outweighed the needs of the many!

What does every Star Trek fan ask for from a mobile network?
Unlimited Data.

Which Star Trek captain was a stage magician?
Captain Picard Anycard.

How do you know you’re old, when your favorite thing on Star Trek is…
When one is 10, their favorite thing on Star Trek is the awesome spaceships and phasers. They run around the backyard “shooting” their friends.
When one is 20, their favorite thing on Star Trek is the guest stars and their costumes that look like they’re about to fall off. They sit way too close to the TV screen.
When one is 30, their favorite thing on Star Trek is the feeling of going off into uncharted territory. They wish they could leave their life behind and go exploring.
When one is 40, their favorite thing on Star Trek is the ideas the show comes up with. They actually wonder if they need their evil half to be an effective leader.
When one is 55, their favorite thing on Star Trek is the gadgets Dr. McCoy waves over patients. They wish they could use one of those daily on their aches and pains.

What do toilet paper and The Star Trek Enterprise have in common?
They both circle Uranus in search of Klingons.

Cryogenic sleep is controversial in the Star Trek universe.
Kirk is well aware of its frozen Khans.

Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention
They call it the enter prize.

My libertarian neighbor posted a newspaper ad selling his collection of Star Trek ships.
Politics
And here I thought he believed in free Enterprise.

What version of Windows 11 does Spock use?
Enterprise!

What do you call a very short Klingon?
DeWorf.

If Major Kira visits your grandmother…
You’ve got a Nana Visitor!

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party.
The mood of the night is very good, and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters, they came to some lighter topics. So the King says to Mitt, “I really like parts of American culture, especially American television. My favourite show in the world is ‘Star Trek’. But I only have one question about it. On the ship, there are Asians, Caucasians, Africans, Latin, and Native Americans, and all sorts of other people from around the world and the universe, but there are no Arabs on the ship. Why is that?”
Mitt shrugs his shoulders and replies, “Well, it is set in the future…”

What did Spock find in the toilet of the USS Enterprise?
The Captain’s log.

What did Captain Kirk’s music teach put on his report card?
He’s having trouble with the trebles.

What’s the difference between a Cardassian and a Kardashian?
One is a vicious, opportunistic race, bent on subjugation and domination through whatever insidious and ethically-questionable means they have at hand.
The other is a fictional race from Star Trek.

Why do Star Trek characters make the worst sports fans?
They always root for the away team.

A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room.
The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.
The red shirt dies anyway.

Yo mama so fat, she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side.

I just spent $100 on a limited edition DVD of Star Trek 2.
Turns out the seller was a Kahn man.

Which Star Trek character is most like a pirate?
Natasha Y-arrrr!

A Vulcan, a Ferengi, and a Klingon walk into a sickbay.
They find a Takaran dead in the center of it, a knife in his chest. “Logically, this was a murder,” the Vulcan remarks, looking towards the other two.
“He must be avenged so honor is restored to his family,” growls the Klingon.
“Too bad he’s already been dissected,” the Ferengi says bowing his head.
“I would be ashamed if that were done to m- Where’d the body go?”

How many ears does Spock have?
Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

What does Captain Kirk hate about texting?
The emoti-khaaaaaaans!

A survey revealed that People who speak more than one language are considered more attractive.
Unless that language is Klingon.

Does Worf’s garden grow leafy greens?
Or is it kale-less.

A Romulan man, a Ferengi businessman, a ravishing Human woman, and a homely Bajoran are sharing a compartment on an old train as it makes its way through the mountains.
Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Ferengi is rubbing his sore, red cheek.
The Bajoran thinks, “I bet that dirty Ferengi fondled the Human and she struck the pervert.”
The Human thinks, “I bet that filthy Ferengi was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the Bajoran for me, and she slapped the little troll.”
The Ferengi thinks, “I bet that treacherous Romulan groped the hyoo-män in the dark and she slapped me by mistake.”
The Romulan thinks, “I can’t wait for another tunnel so I can slap that Ferengi toad again.”

Where do you keep your badge at a Star Trek convention?
On a Lanyard Nimoy.

What do you call the fusion between a Transformers villain and a Star Trek villain?
A Deceptikhan.

Where do Klingons buy their sheets?
Bed Bat’leth and Beyond.

Your mama so stupid, she wore a red shirt on an away mission, to match her shoes.

Why did the starship captain buy a sub-lightspeed propulsion system that he didn’t need?
It was an impulse purchase.

What do Crusher, Worf, and Troi have in common?
One’s a doc, one’s a Worf, and one’s a Marina.

A Vulcan, a human and a Klingon walk into a sickbay.
The Klingon is bleeding and the human has a black eye. “What happened?” the doctor asks.
“I was just asking for my bat’leth back,” begins the Klingon. “And I needed a candle,” adds the human. “But when we approached our friend here and annoyed her with our illogical inquiries, well T’Pon went a little… far.” The Vulcan flips a table.

What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?
“What’s up, Spock?”

Why does Guinan love Ten Forward?
She enjoys The View.

What’s the difference between the actor who plays Data and someone who’s exhausted from making pickles all day?
One’s Brent Spiner, and the other’s a spent briner.

What’s Captain Kirk’s favorite kind of radish?
Daikon.

Star Trek Discovery had a female lead, which ruined the series.
The male captains wandered around aimlessly, getting into trouble.
She will just ask for directions and head straight to the destination.

Tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The Security Guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.

Have you heard about the new Star Trek Christmas movie?
It’s The Wreath of Khan.

Yo mama so Darmok, she Jalad at Tanagra.

What did Star Trek teach millions of kids?
To boldly split infinitives!

Why do Star Trek fans never grow out of it?
They Klingon to it.

What do you call a buffet for robots from Star Trek?
A smorgasborg.

Kirk breaks his arm and goes to see Doctor McCoy.
McCoy starts to snigger and says, “Well, James, you may not be laughing on the outside, but on the inside you’re cracking up!”
“Funny, Bones”, replies Kirk with a smirk.
“Actually, James”, says McCoy, checking Kirk’s arm, “your humerus!”

Did you know that Star Trek has a music streaming service?
It’s called Spockify.

Why don’t you ever see frogs in Star Trek?
They have a croaking device.

Why wasn’t Gwen Stefani on Star Trek?
Because she ain’t no holla deck girl.

Yo mama such a bad parent, people started calling her Worf.

Did you hear Dolph Lundgren wants to be in Star Trek?
He said, “I must be Q.”

Where do Klingon chefs go when they die?
Stove-akor!

Picard and Janeway are sitting in a conference room together.
“My mission was to return back home to the Alpha Quadrant and keep my crew safe,” Janeway explains. “Mine was to explore strange new worlds, seek out new life and new civilizations, and to boldly go where no one has gone before,” Picard answers. Janeway looks slightly confused. “That seems like a pointless enterprise.”

What did my hippie Star Trek fan dog tell me today?
“I dig bones.”

Why is the Gorn the fittest alien on Star Trek?
Because whenever you see him, he’s hitting the Jim.

What’s Star Trek’s fan favorite kind of wrench?
A spocket Wrench.

What’s sick, Irish, and hates Captain Kirk?
A leper Khan.

What do you call a Cardassian sea bird sleeping on a folding bed?
A Gull du Cot!

A father and his son were walking by a pet store, when the son points at the window and asks, “Dad, can I have that tribble?”
The father says, “2 tribbles??? Do you know how much it costs to feed 5 tribbles?? I can’t afford 10 tribbles! If you want 25 tribbles, you’re gonna have to pay for them yourself.”

How did Lieutenant Worf get his promotion?
He was hoisted by his own Picard.

Where do Klingons store their leftovers?
Zip’loc!

Yo mama so dense, the scanners can’t penetrate her.

Sisko and Odo see a guy in white makeup pushing an invisible wall.
Deep Space mime.

An Andorian, a Ferengi, and a Vorta walk into Quark’s Bar.
Quark is very confused by their ability to occupy only a single chair.

If Mr. Spock has pointy ears, what does Mr. Scott have?
Engineers.

A Ferengi Philanthropist & a Mugato walk into a bar.
The bartender serves them a few rounds.
Mugato gets into a brawl with another patron; the philanthropist breaks it up…
Bartender says, “Okay. The Clown can Stay, but the Ferengi in the Gorilla Suit has to Go!”

Why did Captain Kirk bring a lawn mower on the USS Enterprise?
To boldly mow where no man has mown before.

What’s a horse’s favorite part of a starship?
The Neigh-celles.

How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.

Why did the Bajoran resistance never watch any good TV shows?”
Cause they were too busy Keeping up with the Cardassians.

A human walks into Quark’s and asks, “Do you serve crabs here?”
Quark replies, “We serve anyone here, have a seat.”

Recommended: Adult Star Trek Jokes

What makes the Enterprise go?
Spock plugs.

Why did the Klingon cross the road?
To conquer the other side.

The Kzinti had captured a Medusan, but since Medusans are energy beings, they had trouble deciding how to eat him. The Kzinti captain had the last word. He said they should use lots of sugar, because, “everyone knows a spoonful of sugar helps the Medusan go down.”

Beverly Crusher was a huge fan of dating on Tinder.
She loved getting ghosted.

How many Cardassians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to hold the ladder, One to change the bulb, One to test the light switch, and One to supervise the entire task.

Why do Vulcans hate democracy?
Because logic dictates.

What’s a Klingon’s favourite 80s hit song?
Kahless Whisper.

Why are the Founders really good at escaping confinement?
Because if there’s a Weyoun, there’s a way out.

What’s a Ferengi’s favorite antibiotic?
Oomoxacylin.

Recommended: Star Wars Jokes

What internet browser does Dr. Phlox use?
Firephlox.
What browser does Captain Archer use?
Internet Explorer.

Jason Statham never takes a shuttlecraft to board a starship…
He insists on using The Transporter.

What’s Odo’s favorite search engine?
GOOgle.

Yo mama so old, she USED to have a smooth forehead.

What’s a Vidiian’s favorite musical instrument?
The organ.

What do you call a Hirogen with a symbiont?
The Trill of the Hunt.

What do you call the richest and most powerful horse on Ferenginar?
The Grand Neighus.