In a galaxy where lightsabers buzz louder than alarm clocks and spaceships zoom past faster than bad homework excuses, Star Wars has ruled fans’ hearts for decades. With wise Jedi, grumpy villains, and nonstop drama, it’s no surprise that Star Wars Jokes have become just as legendary as the Force.
When Star Wars jokes fly around, it’s like the cantina turned into a comedy club. Lightsabers clash in the movies, but in the joke world, it’s all about clashing punchlines. Even Darth Vader might crack a smile, if he wasn’t too busy sounding like he swallowed a robot.
Best Star Wars Jokes
Why don’t the Jedi take off their shirts to greet each other?
Because only a Sith deals in ab salutes.
Why did the Star Wars movies come out in the order 4 5 6 1 2 3?
In charge of the sequence, Yoda was.
What is it called when two celebrities are fighting?
Star Wars.
What did Yoda say when he watched Star Wars on Blu-Ray?
“HDMI!”
Why was Luke Skywalker unlucky with love?
He was looking in Alderaan places.
Why is Empire Strikes Back the best Star Wars movie?
It’s a perfect 5/7.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Metaphors.
(Metaphors who?)
Metaphors be with you!
My son Luke loves that we chose Star Wars characters as inspiration when naming my kids.
However, his sister Chewbacca and his brother Boba Fett are less amused.
Who swore the most in Star Wars?
R2-D2, they beeped out every word he said.
Why was Kylo Ren always so pale?
He never could catch any Reys!
What did Mike Tyson say to Harvey Dent while they watched Star Wars?
“I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
Why didn’t Luke Skywalker like his steak?
It was a little chewy.
Yo mama so fat, she played the Deathstar in Star Wars.
Peter Mayhew will be reprising his role as Chewbacca in the next Star Wars movie!
They said they wanted to cast the role to a veteran rather than a wookiee.
Recommended: Star Wars Jokes for Kids
Who Did Princess Leia’s Hair?
Darth Braider.
What do you call 5 Siths piled on top of a lightsaber?
A sith-kebab.
Anakin Skywalker walks into a Taco Bell and is shocked to find his master, Yoda, behind the counter.
He asks what the Jedi master is doing there, to which he replies, “Pay well, Jedi council does not. Work two jobs, I must.” Fair enough, thinks Anakin. He orders his food, and reaches into his pocket to pay when Yoda asks, “A beverage, would you like with that?”
“Ok,” says Anakin, “what do you recommend?”
“Good, the Baja Blast is. Buy one you should,” answers the Jedi master. Not willing to trust the tastes of someone who ate nothing but foraged vegetables for centuries, Anakin asks if he can taste the drink first before he decides.
At that, Yoda grunts, shaking his head in disapproval. “Dew, or Dew not,” he huffs, “There is no try.”
Han Solo: “Yoda, are we going the right way?”
Yoda: “Off course we are.”
Why was the mathematician a fan of Star Wars?
Because of all the special f(x).
What do Gungans put things in?
Jar Jars.
Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?
It’s called the Man-DeLorean.
Who plays Han Solo in the Norwegian version of Star Wars?
Harrison Fjord!
Friend: “Do you know that one guy who just can’t have a conversation without quoting Star Wars?”
Me: “Well, of course I know him, he is me!”
Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed.
Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens,
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes,
Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work.
Recommended: Star Wars Dad Jokes
Why did the stormtrooper buy an iPhone?
Because he couldn’t find the Droid he was looking for!
Which Star Wars movie is the best?
Hans down, The Force Awakens is the best.
What do you call a Canadian Sith?
Pal-poutine.
The Star Wars series is coming out with a female villain.
She’ll be able to use the force to raise and lower things.
Her name will be Ella Vader
How did Mace die in Star Wars?
Through the Windu.
Did you hear about the girl who got a tattoo of her favorite Star Wars character on her face?
You should’ve seen the Luke on her face.
What is the scariest planet in Star Wars?
Na-BOO!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
Bob.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of the door?
Matt.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a volcano?
Anakin Skywalker
Why can’t you smell Jedi in the new Star Wars movies?
They will be Yoda-less.
What’s a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
What did the Star Wars-obsessed Mexican couple name their son?
Obi-Juan.
Why did Anakin change his name to Skywalker?
He couldn’t stand the old one Ani longer.
Everyone knows Count Doku, the character from Star Wars.
But his wife, Sue?
She’s quite a puzzle to figure out.
What did the Jedi Knight say to the proctologist?
“These aren’t the ‘roids you’re looking for.”
What is the internal Temperature of a TaunTaun?
Luke-Warm.
If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, then what is Luke short for?
A stormtrooper.
A quarterback was being interviewed only moments before the start of the game. The reporter had 3 quick questions: “Your favorite pizza? Your favorite Star Wars character? Your favorite non-football activity?”
His answers were just as brief: “Hut, Hutt, Hike!”
Did you know Chuck Norris was in every Star Wars movie?
He played the force.
Why do most Catholics love Star Wars?
For the pew pew pews.
Did you realize Back to the Future is a Star Wars film?
It’s entire plot requires a manned delorean.
What is the official pasta of Star Wars?
Rotini!
Therapist: “So you’re considering ending the marriage?”
Wife: “I am sick of all the Star Wars puns.”
Husband: “Divorce is strong with this one.”
Which Jedi became a rock star?
Bon Jovi-Wan Kenobi.
Know why the Jedi don’t have a navy?
Because sailing is a path to the dockside.
Why is vodka so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?
Because only Siths deal in Absolut.
Who is short, green and plays the cello?
Yo-Yo Da.
Why are the Sith so good at poker?
Because they always have a “dark hand.”
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this I have.” Yoda says.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.
“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.
“That’s ok Master.” Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”
Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”
Who played Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars prequels?
Emperor Palpatine.
What is a stormtrooper’s favorite store?
The one next to target.
What do you call a Star Wars themed all you can eat restaurant?
Bo-buffet.
How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for his Birthday?
He felt his presents.
A Star Wars fan orders 3 tequilas, 2 whiskeys, and 1 fireball. What does he start with?
Solo shot first.
A farmhand loses both his farm and his hand after getting into a fight with his dad over politics…
…would be a really bad but accurate way to describe the plot of Star Wars.
Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films.
Because you know what they say about old habits…
Two Star Wars super-fanboys who hated The Last Jedi die and are at the gates of heaven.
St Peter is there and tells them that before entering the afterlife, they may ask God Himself one single question that He will answer truthfully for them.
“All the secrets of the Universe, past, present, and future, are all available to you. Ask, and He will answer.”
They whisper with each other and decide on a question to ask.
The first guy steps forward and says, “Did Mark Hamill actually like The Last Jedi or did Disney force him to say nice things about the movie despite him knowing it’s the worst movie ever and ruined Luke?”
God replies, “Mark Hamill originally had some conflicting thoughts when he first read The Last Jedi script, but by the time he had finished the movie came around and realized that Rian Johnson’s vision for Luke’s character was much better than any idea he himself had and he is now very pleased with how the character developed. Disney never forced him to say anything. He was never even pressured or talked to. Mark’s biggest disappointment was that fans took his words out of context to push a narrative of hate for a movie he worked hard to make and is very proud of.”
The two guys look at each other in shock. The second guy whispers to the first guy, “You know what this means?”
“Yup…”
“Disney’s influence goes even higher than we ever thought!”
What does a Jedi’s broken roof do?
Leak Skywater.
To celebrate Star Wars, we baked some “Wookie Cookies”.
They were a little on the Chewy side.
How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side!
In Star Wars, what language is used to program droids?
JawaScript.
How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?
Ewoks.
I don’t like how people love their fandoms more than their god.
Especially Star Wars fans.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
Did you hear Pedro Pascal hurt his back during The Mandalorian?
It was from carrying the Star Wars franchise.
A stormtrooper and a red shirt are in a room.
The stormtrooper shoots the red shirt, but misses every shot.
The red shirt dies anyway.
What’s a Mandalorian’s favorite pasta?
Fett-uccine.
How does Grievous stay in shape?
Spin class.
What’s the difference between a Stormtrooper and an AT-AT?
One is a walking Imperial and the other is an Imperial walker.
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar.
They start talking, and after a few drinks, the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only have a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laugh at him, saying he has a Bad Car.
The Sith, having manipulated others into giving him their wealth, shows off his McLaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it’s a nice ride. They both end up saying it’s a Good Car.
The Mandalorian walks around the corner, and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
How did Samuel L Jackson die in Star Wars?
He fell out of the Windu.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
Chocolate Chip Wookie.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side?
Darth Tater.
Return of the Jedi….
…..is not possible without the Receipt of the Jedi.
What Star Wars character likes orange juice the most?
Emperor Pulpatine.
Why does Star Wars have a classical music score?
Because the Empire likes Bach!
Star Wars names are just regular words if you put a random space somewhere:
Mos Quito
Que Sadilla
Scu Bagear
Syn Tax
Rev Erse
Mala Mute
Trypto Phan
Cano Nical
Impo Tent
Slee Papnea.
Who stands in a store window modeling the latest Star Wars fashions?
Mannequin Skywalker.
Why is The Legend of Zelda better than Star Wars?
It has triple the force.
Why didn’t Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plans?
The Jedi Code forbids attachments.
Apparently there’s a battle for the rights to Star Wars aftershave.
It’s “The Cologne Wars.”
Why is Darth Vader not safe for children under age 3?
He’s a choking hazard!
Why aren’t Star Wars jokes popular?
They are usually quite forced.
What do you call an invisible Star Wars droid?
C-thru-PO.
A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his ‘lightsaber’ attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke’s sister! Luke was obviously distraught!
Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke said to him, “Master Obi Wan! My beautiful wife is my sister! What do I do?!” Master Kenobi, keeping his cool, looked his apprentice in the eye and said, “Luke, use divorce.”
For all those who like to compare a situation with Star Wars to explain it better,
Metaphors be with you.
How do you get down from a bantha?
You don’t! You get down from a goose.
What do you call a Star Wars droid that takes the long way around?
R2 Detour.
Where does Darth Vader get his coffee?
DeathStarBucks.
Did you hear about the Spanish Star Wars spin-off?
It’s about the chosen Juan.
Where did Luke Skywalker get his prosthetic from?
The second hand store.
Why did Yoda agree to train Luke Skywalker?
Because it made the Dagobah faster.
Why would anyone trust Chewbacca to fly the millennium falcon?
He’s such a wookie pilot.
Now that Star Wars is owned by Disney, what song does Darth Vader like to sing?
“When You Wish Upon a Death Star!”
What do Imperial pilots eat?
TIE food.
What’s a train’s favorite Star Wars character?
Choochoobacca.
What’s the most popular Star Wars action figure in Japan?
Toy-Yoda.
Luke Skywalker took a hissy fit in a restaurant. Try as he might, using Chopsticks was seemingly far beyond his fledgling Jedi skills. Embarrassing himself and causing a bit of a scene, Ben Kenobi leans over and offers some wisdom:
“Use the forks, Luke!”
How do Jedi open PDF files?
With Adobe-Wan Kenobi.
Why was Darth Vader so much taller than Luke or Leia?
Because his suit added two feet.
Where does Julian Assange upload Star Wars spoilers?
Wookiee Leaks.
Did you know that Hoth used to be a tropical planet, popular with the hipster crowd?
They were in to Hoth before it was cool.
Why are Tusken Raiders good at questionable accounting?
Because they always use a single file to hide their numbers.
Where do Sith lords shop?
At the Darth Mall.
How do Ewoks communicate over long distances?
With Ewokie Talkies.
Yoda is working at a hotel as a concierge and a man walks up to the desk.
Yoda: “Hello, welcome, you are.”
Man: “Hi, I’d like to book a triplex for the weekend.”
Yoda: “Sorry I am, only duplex we have.”
Man: “Are you sure? I really need the triplex.”
Yoda: “There is no tri, only du.”
What do you call a bounty hunter from the south?
Bubba Fett!
Which Star Wars character would make the best pirate?
Arrrrrrr2D2.
Why didn’t Anakin Skywalker become an engineer?
He couldn’t get a Master’s degree.
Triangles don’t exist in the Star Wars universe…
Only do-angles and donot-angles.
Which Star Wars character would you never lend money to?
Owe-Me-One Kenobi.
We live in a world where there are 7 Star Wars movies that have opening crawl.
Then there is a Rogue One.
How to trigger a Star Wars fan on May 4th?
Go Fourth and Prosper.
What do you call an Asian martial artist who’s into Star Wars?
A Thai fighter.
Why can’t Jedi use the Kelvin scale?
Because only a sith deals in absolutes.
What do you call a group of soldiers in a fortress beside a narrow body of water in the Star Wars established universe?
Garrison Fjord.
What do you call it when one Star Wars character gives you a round of applause?
A hand solo.
Recommended: Revenge of the Fifth Memes
Do you know why the robots in Star Wars hate glass?
Cause An droid can’t have Windows.
Which Star Wars character is the best at Photoshop?
Adobe Wan Kenobi.
What does a tsundere weeaboo say to a Star Wars fan?
Chu~ baka.
Who is Fozzie Bear’s favorite Star Wars character?
Luke SkyWaka Waka.
How big is an AT-AT on Star Wars?
Four Imperial Feet.
Chancellor Palpatine:” Who’s there?”
Mysterious voice: ”Wind.”
Chancellor Palpatine: ”Wind who?”
Mace Windu: ”In the name of the Galactic Senate you’re under arrest, Chancellor.”
What’s a programmer’s favourite Star Wars series?
And/or.
Which car is fish Star Wars?
Koi-Yoda.
Which Star Wars Character is Italian?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
How do you know your phone has a full battery in the Star Wars universe?
Chargar Blinks.
Recommended: May The 4th Memes
Yo mama so dumb, she thought Jodeci was another Star Wars Movie.
What do you call a person who brings a rancor its dinner?
The appetizer.
Why was Anakin Skywalker rejected for a credit card?
Because he applied for a MasterCard.
What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
A padijuan.
Did you know Darth Vader’s cousin lives in Switzerland and drives a cab?
He’s called ‘Taxi Vader’.
What do you call a stressed Darth Vader?
Panickin Skywalker.
Where do Jedi go to get inked?
Tattooine.
Leia is the only Skywalker to not lose a limb.
But she did lose a Han.
How do Jedi sing?
By yoda-ling.
What do you call a Sith Lord who works at a restaurant?
Darth Waiter.
Recommended: May The 4th Jokes
If Ellen DeGeneres and Anakin Skywalker formed a band, what kind of music would they play?
Elle-Vader music.
Why didn’t they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?
Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds very stupid.
Did you hear about the Anorexic Jedi?
She had to be force fed.
Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?
So it doesn’t Hang Solow.
What’s Anakin Skywalker’s least favorite game?
“The Floor Is Lava”!
What is Darth Vader’s favorite month?
Imperial March.
What do you call a hump-backed Jedi Knight?
Mark Camel.
What do you call a Sith who moves to the Caiman Isles?
Darth Evader.
How many Skywalkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, but you’ll have to give him a hand.
A stoner, a Jedi, and a surgeon walk into a bar.
Blunt force trauma.
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Why was Darth Vader arrested?
Excessive use of force.
Why does Emperor Palpatine shoot electricity out of his hands?
Because he’s in charge.
How many Sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They like it on the dark side.
What does Darth Vader order at Indian restaurants?
Lots of naan, naan, naan, naan naan naan, naan naan naan.
Do you have a Star Wars Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
