Diving into the world of the swinging lifestyle is like stepping into a parallel universe where the motto is “sharing is caring,” but with a spicy twist. This adventurous community believes in exploring relationships beyond traditional boundaries, turning monogamy on its head with a wink and a nudge. It’s all about having fun, expanding horizons, and, of course, swapping more than just pleasantries. As we wrap our heads around this intriguing lifestyle, let’s not forget the lighter side of things. After all, swinger jokes are the secret handshake of this cheeky society, signaling you’re in on the fun without having to swing from the chandelier… unless that’s your thing, of course.
Continuing from the chuckles and giggles that swinger jokes bring to the table, they serve as the perfect icebreaker, melting away any initial awkwardness with a hearty laugh. These jokes are the unsung heroes of the swinging scene, weaving humor into the fabric of their gatherings and ensuring that the only thing stiff at a party is the drink in your hand. They remind us that while swinging might be about exploring new territories, it’s also about not taking ourselves too seriously.
Best Swinger Jokes
They call someone who wears boxer shorts a boxer, they call someone who wears swim shorts a swimmer, but what do you call someone who doesn’t wear any shorts at all?
A swinger.
What’s worse than learning that your parents are swingers?
Coming upon them at a party.
What’s the best Lifehack?
Hire the cheapest prostitute you can find.
Take her to a swingers club.
Switch with someone’s hot wife.
Did you go to this disappointing swingers party hosted by Dick Van Dyke?
It was a…..Sh*tty gang bang, pretty shitty gang bang!
A friend invited one of his friends to a swinger party.
He asked him, “How many people will there be ?”
“Bring your wife and we’ll be three,” he replied.
What dessert do swingers serve at their parties?
Pineapple upside down cake.
Ever gone camping with swingers?
It’s f*cking intense.
Did you hear about the married-parents swingers club?
You show up and don’t have s*x with someone else’s spouse.
A couple took the kids to the playground earlier.
They met another couple and their kids. They seemed really normal, you know? So this couple asked if they wanted to walk over to the slides and the see-saw.
But then the husband told the other couple, they’re swingers.
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What do you call if you and your spouse get amorous in a hammock?
That makes you swingers.
This man met his wife on a swingers website.
Which was an odd meeting as he didn’t know she had an account.
Why does Spider-Man cheat on all of his partners?
Because he lives a swinger lifestyle.
An alien couple lands their saucer in a farmer’s field.
They approach the house and explain to the farmer and his wife that they are intergalactic swingers. He asks them if they are ok to spend the night and then go back to their planet in the morning. The farmer and his wife talk it over and agree.
The male alien takes the farmer’s wife into the bard and drops his pants. He has a green penis that’s about an inch long erect and narrow like a pencil. The farmer’s wife giggles a little until the alien twists his left ear. His penis extends to 13 inches. The alien then twists his right ear and his penis thickens to the width of a Red Bull can.
The next morning the aliens leave after breakfast and the husband asks his wife how it went. “Wonderful, I’m glad we agreed”, she replied. “How about you?”
The farmer says tells her it seemed really strange and very different from human s*x. “How so?”, asked the wife.
“Well, all she did was play with my ears the whole time…”
Did you see a sign advertising a plowsharing market?
Don’t know if that’s a more or less politically correct way of talking about a swinger party.
This man met his wife at a swinger’s party.
He said, “You should be home looking after the kids!”
What happens when a fire breaks out at a swinger’s convention?
It causes premature evacuation.
A businessman is sitting on a park bench in his hometown.
A well-dressed buxom blonde woman walks up and sits down next to him, looks at him, and says “Hey, I know you! You’re the father of one of my kids.”
The businessman doesn’t remember her so he starts going back through his memory of all the women he’s ever had s*x with. Finally, he remembers a buxom blonde. “I remember you now! You were at the swingers’ party at the Ericsons five years ago! We had s*x twice and you kept asking me to spank you!”
The woman looks at him oddly and says, “No, I’m your son Greg’s sixth-grade teacher.”
There was a s*x shop that opened up across the highway from a 55+ aged swinger community.
Wonder if it’s because the orgies were getting old.
What is the Swingers Gardening Association also called as?
The seed swappers.
Who is the most popular guy in a swingers’ club?
The guy who can carry a dozen doughnuts without using his hands.
Who’s the most popular woman?
The one who can get the last one without using hers.
What’s the difference between a professional golfer and a regular swinger?
A professional golfer tries to get a hole-in-one. A regular swinger just tries to get one in the hole.
How do golf clubs reproduce?
They’re swingers!
An older couple decided to try ‘swinging’.
They’d both recently turned sixty and, what the heck — YOLO. So they went to a swingers party and, to their amazement, connected with a very young couple barely past their teens. After an hour and a half of “play time” they got dressed and headed home.
“Well that was disappointing,” he said. The young lady was fantastic but I couldn’t keep it up and didn’t finish. “
“Too bad, honey. I thought it was spectacular,” she replied. “That young stallion ran the full race three times!”
They should’ve known, it’s simple arithmetic: 20 goes into 60 a lot more times than 60 goes into 20.
What is Tarzan’s favorite type of party?
A swinger party.
What do you call a flea market for swingers?
A swap meat.
Some swingers were sitting around sharing stories.
One of them says “Last night I was so exhausted! I just collapsed on the floor after being groped and climbed on for hours. I was sticky everywhere and I couldn’t even get off of my bed after”
The other swingers were amazed. “That sounds like quite the gangbang.”
“Gangbag?” The first replied. “That was just me putting the kids to bed.”
Did you hear about the man who said that his wife was a bit of a swinger back in the day?
Sounds so much better than saying she hung herself.
What’s the politically correct term for a swingers party in Alabama?
A lynching.
What’s the most interesting beer served at the Star Trek Swingers convention?
Dos trekkies.
What do swingers have in common with bees?
Every queen gets MMMMMMMMMMMMF while everyone else stands around watching.
Do you have a funny joke for Swingers? Write down the puns in the comment section below!
