Thanksgiving in 2025 is more than turkey and football; it’s about families gathering around the table while secretly scrolling on their phones and pretending the Wi-Fi isn’t stronger than their gratitude. Between the pumpkin pie debates and who carves the bird, there’s always time for Thanksgiving Jokes.
That’s when the fun really starts, as uncles, cousins, and grandparents all try to outdo each other with punchlines louder than the kitchen timer. The best part of the holiday isn’t just the feast but the way Thanksgiving Jokes turn ordinary family drama into laughter that lasts longer than the leftovers.
New Thanksgiving Jokes
Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape…
… to play Santa Claus.
Just before sweet potatoes are mashed, they become very quiet.
This is known as “the silence of the yams”.
Did you know that they don’t serve Thanksgiving leftovers at rehab?
People there are trying to quit cold turkey.
Gravity is one of the fundamental forces of the universe. What happens when it is removed?
Gravy.
Millions of people are celebrating Thanksgiving on 27 November this year.
The indigenous people however, have reservations.
A waiter was serving Thanksgiving dinner at a fancy restaurant when he slipped, fell, and destroyed 4 countries.
It was the downfall of Greece and Turkey, and China was thoroughly destroyed. Due to this, most people left Hungary.
With Thanksgiving just around the corner, do you prefer to eat the cranberries right away or…..
Do you have to let them linger?!
In our house, we celebrate Thanksgiving every day.
In other words, we eat too much and sit around watching TV.
What do you call a turkey that was served during Thanksgiving but still capable of pinching, biting, hitting, and tripping people?
A poultry-geist!
What do you call an indecisive potato?
A hesitater.
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What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?
“Quack! Quack!”
Why is Thanksgiving like traveling to Taiwan?
Because you get to enjoy the good China.
If things go wrong with Thanksgiving dinner, don’t lose your head.
The turkey already did that for you.
Why did the turkey cross the suspension bridge?
To show he wasn’t chicken.
My wife is a terrible cook, she can never get gravy right.
I have stuck with her though, through thick or thin.
A couple invited their family over for Thanksgiving night to spend the holiday and meal together.
The family gathered, but the couple’s children were late and the mother-in-law complained aloud, “Ugh, your children, always late.”
Eventually, everyone sat down to eat, the mother-in-law insisted on sitting at the head of the table – no one had the strength to argue with her. After a few minutes, the hungry mother-in-law began to complain, “What’s with the food here, why is it always late?”
A short time later, the couple brought out the meal they had prepared for their family, mostly cooked by the wife. Everyone loaded their plates with food and the evening continued. While they are in the middle of their main course, the mother-in-law said, “I’d better start clearing the dishes so we can at least move on to the last dish on time.”
A mere second after she got up, the large wall clock hanging over the head of the table fell down, reducing her chair to pieces and almost hitting her. Everyone was in shock until the bride mumbled to herself, “This clock… always late.”
Why did the cranberry sauce cross the road?
To get to the other sides.
My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes.
But I can’t quit cold Turkey.
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What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to at the first Thanksgiving feast?
Plymouth Rock!
What do you call it when it rains turkeys?
Fowl weather!
What is a good way to greet people on Thanksgiving?
“Howdy pilgrim!”
Why don’t Greeks celebrate thanksgiving?
Because they hate Turkey.
What do sweet potatoes wear to bed?
Yammies!
Why do turkeys love Thanksgiving?
Because they don’t have to worry about buying Christmas presents.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
Fangs-giving.
Why did the turkey get kicked out of the football stadium?
Because he tryptophan.
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What’s the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?
You can mash potatoes.
What’s the proper way to introduce yourself to a turkey on Thanksgiving?
“Slice to meat you.”
What makes every Thanksgiving meal extra-basic?
Pumpkin spice.
A little boy was writing his Christmas wish list. He asked for toys, games, and then he hesitated. With a hopeful smile, he turned to his mom and said,
“Can I have a dog for Christmas?”
“Absolutely not,” Answered his mother
“You’ll have turkey like everyone else.”
What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?
The casse-role.
Why don’t Turkeys play baseball?
Because every hits a fowl ball.
What do you call a crayon that looks like a strawberry?
A cranberry.
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?
He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
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What smells the best at Thanksgiving dinner?
Your nose.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside.
Why isn’t Ibuprofen talked about at Thanksgiving?
It’s inflammatory!
What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Peach gobbler!
What did Frankenstein bring to Thanksgiving Dinner?
The Monster Mash-ed Potatoes!
What did the brick road say on Thanksgiving?
“Cobble cobble cobble!”
What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?
You’ll get autumn’y ache.
What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween?
A gobblin.
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What should you serve with a Halloween turkey?
Gravey.
In April of 1620, it rained. That same year, the Pilgrims arrived.
I suppose the saying is true. April showers bring Mayflowers.
What kind of pie does a smartphone eat?
App-ful pie.
What is the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
One buries his treasure, and the other treasures his berries!
What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?
Lucky.
What does The Hulk say when someone tries to steal his mashed potatoes?
“HULKS MASH!”
“Waiter, waiter, why is my apple pie all mashed up?!”
“Sir, you did ask me to step on it.”
Why should you never turn up late to a cannibal Thanksgiving?
Because they’ll give you the cold shoulder.
What did the mama turkey say to her disobedient son?
“If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!”
Why do wrestlers love Thanksgiving?
Because it’s always on THURSDAY, THURSDAY, THURSDAY!
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What did the turkey say before it got roasted?
“Boy! I’m stuffed!”
How are mashed potatoes similar to an online college degree?
If it ends up on your wall, you’re probably retarded.
How do you make Pumpkin Pie?
Take the circumference of the pumpkin and divide it by the diameter of the pumpkin.
Why are the cranberries red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
Do you have a new Thanksgiving Joke in 2025? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
Thanksgiving: Cooking for 4 hours, so you can eat for 15 minutes, then wash dishes for 4 more hours.