Dad jokes are like the unorthodox uncles of the comedy world. They are awkwardly charming, unapologetically punny, and always ready to make you groan and laugh at the same time. They’re the jokes you roll your eyes at but secretly love because they’re so harmlessly ridiculous. But then, there’s a special breed that takes it up a notch, our Immature Dad Jokes.
These Dad Jokes are what happens when dads embrace their inner teenager. They don’t just aim for groans but they aim for a full-on “Dad, stop!” reaction. They’re unapologetically silly, the kind of humor that’s less about cleverness and more about seeing how much secondhand embarrassment they can cause. After all, It’s not just a joke, it’s a dad’s mission to stay forever young and just a little too enthusiastic.
Best Groan Worthy Dad Jokes
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
My wife told me I was immature and needed to grow up.
Guess who’s not allowed in my tree house anymore.
A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
The nurse asked what the rabbit´s blood type was,
And the rabbit replied, “I´m probably a Type O.”
How do you think the unthinkable?
With an itheberg.
Knock, knock
(Who’s there?)
Quiet horse.
(Quiet horse who?)
(In a whisper) Neigh…
Why do divers fall off the boat backwards?
Because if they fell forward they’d still be on the boat.
A blind man walks into a bar.
Then a chair, then a table.
A pirate walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey man, you know you have a steering wheel hanging out of your pants?”
Pirate replies, “Arr aye matey it’s drivin me nuts…”
What’s red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
How many doors does a chicken coop have?
Two. If it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
Why are there so many D’s in Edward Woodward’s name?
Because if there weren’t, he’d be Ewar Woowar.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One of them is really heavy. The other one is a little lighter.
How do you titillate an ocelot?
You oscillate it’s tit a lot.
Two guys walk into a bar.
You’d think the second guy would duck.
What did the seal with one fin say to the shark?
“If seal is broken, do not consume.”
Did you know in South Africa there is a crocodile that can jump higher than the average house?
This is due to its powerful back legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.
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What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint!
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.
A Roman Soldier walks into a bar.
Raises two fingers and says, “Five beers please.”
What’s green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
What do you call a little boy who’s half French and half Scottish?
A oui lad.
How many bones are in a human hand?
A handful.
What’s the difference between a rib-eye steak and a meteorite?
One’s pretty meaty, and the other’s a little meteor.
2 horses were fighting over a hay bale.
It was the last straw.
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I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step on the moon.
Neil before me.
I was adopted by dolphins, but I don’t really talk to them anymore.
We just didn’t click…
What does the moon do when he needs a hair cut?
Eclipse it.
What do you call it when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What rhymes with ‘orange’?
No, it doesn’t.
Kid comes home from school and says, “Dad, why did you name me Achilles? He is a Greek hero and we have no Greek in our family.”
“Well son, you did make it through the Trojan wall.”
How do you make a car top?
Tep on the brake Tupid!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the oven until its bill withers
Why do some couples not go to the gym?
Some relationships don’t work out.
Why do dolphins live in saltwater?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Why did the blind man fall into the well?
He did not see that well.
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My girlfriend broke up with me, she thinks I’m childish.
So I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house, rang the doorbell, and then ran away.
Have you ever smelled moth balls before?
How do you get their little legs apart!
There are two fish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says: “You man the guns, I’ll drive!”
How many ears does Spock have?
Three. His left ear, his right ear, and his final frontier.
What’s the name of the French shoe inventor?
Phil-lip Phil-lop.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
What has anxiety at the bottom of the ocean?
A nervous wreck.
What’s brown, and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!
Why did the bell pepper fail archery?
He didn’t habanero.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, but it let out a little wine.
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What musical instrument does a pair of sheep play?
The two-baaaa.
What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
“Dam!”
A man was in a terrible accident and woke up in the hospital. He said, “Doctor I can’t feel my legs!”
The doctor said, “It’s because you have had both of your arms amputated.”
Do you have an immature dad joke? Write down your best dumb jokes in the comment section below!
