200+ Funny Short Jokes for Instant Giggles in 2025

A joke is like a mini-vacation for your brain. It’s that tiny burst of fun that turns a dull moment into a belly laugh or a sneaky grin. Short jokes are the sprinters of the comedy world. They are quick, nimble, and out the door before you even realize what hit you. They don’t waste time explaining themselves; they just show up, make you laugh, and leave.

Short jokes are perfect for those of us with the attention span of a goldfish or the patience of a cat waiting for food. With just a few words, they can pack a punch so strong that you’ll find yourself chuckling long after they’re gone just like our list down here.

Funny Short Jokes

1. There was a king once who was 12 inches tall. Terrible king, a great ruler.
2. What genre are national anthems? Country.
3. My grandpa always said when one door closes, another one opens. Smart man but a horrible cabinet maker.
4. Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
5. Do you know what the opposite of ladyfingers is? Mentos.
6. People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
7. What is an Air Fryer’s favorite food? Air-vrything.
8. If there’s a bee in my hand, what’s in my eye? Beauty, because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder
9. “Daddy, what has it’s bottom at the top?” “I don’t know, bud, what?” “Your legs.”
10. After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop working? Your pupils, because they dilate.
11. Of all the inventions of the last hundred years, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.
12. I once got stuck in an elevator. Now I take steps to avoid them
13. Iron Man is technically a FEmale.
14. If you think your microwave and your TV spying on you is bad, your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
15. Do you would think that a Snail without a shell would move that bit faster? But it’s actually more sluggish.
16. They say childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience. Maybe I was too young to remember, but I don’t think it hurt that much.
17. What’s the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is real heavy and the other is a little lighter.
18. I’m not bragging or anything, but I made six figures this year. So they named me the year’s worst employee at the toy factory.
19. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I’m not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
20. My doctor recommended I buy orthopedic insoles. I didn’t think they would work, but now I stand corrected.

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21. Why did the cross eyed teacher get fired? He couldn’t control his pupils.
22. The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
23. When people think of calculators they think the buttons are the most important thing. But it’s what’s inside that counts.
24. A priest, an imam, and a rabbit are donating blood. The rabbit says “I think I’m a typo”.
25. My son asked if I could tell him what a solar eclipse is. I said, “No sun!”
26. I’ll never forget the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket: “How far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
27. What’s the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don’t like the Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi do.
28. “I didn’t see you at camouflage drill this morning corporal!” “Oh, thank you very much, sir!”
29. What do you call Batman when he’s hurt? Bruised Wayne.
30. What color is the wind? Blew!
31. What did the product owner say to the developer? “You start coding. I’ll go see what they want.”
32. What do you call a piece of sandpaper in the desert? A map.
33. I bought an expensive Rolls Royce but didn’t pay for a driver. All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.
34. What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis. 
35. Told my wife she’s bad with directions. She was so mad, she packed her bags and right.
36. So these 2 penguins walk into a bar. Which is funny, because the second one should have seen it.
37. What do you get for the man who has everything? Penicillin.
38. I looked longingly into my beloved’s eyes and whispered “A…E…I…O…U…and sometimes, Y.” The priest then turned to her and said, “And has the bride prepared any wedding vowels?”
39. A female dog gave birth at the side of the road. A short time later a police officer stopped by and gave her a ticket for littering.
40. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? “BREATHE!”

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41. Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender looks at him and asks, “Olive or twist?”
42. The other day a man tried to sell me a coffin. I told him, “That’s the last thing I’ll need.”
43. Where do bad rainbows go? They go to the prism. But it’s a light sentence. It gives them time to reflect.
44. The genie asked, “What’s your first wish?” Steve answered, “I wish I was rich!” The genie continued, “What’s your second wish?” “I want a nice long life!” responded Rich.
45. Why are people from Ohio good at finding a spouse? Because they can go from Dayton to Marion in less than two hours.
46. All of the fortune tellers I’ve met are either really depressing or overly enthusiastic. Why can’t I find a happy medium?
47. What’s blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.
48. Studying Chemistry at the moment, I Just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker. It’s an oxidant waiting to happen.
49. What’s made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe.
50. My girlfriend kept complaining, “You’re always acting like a detective. I want to split up.” So I said, “That’s a good idea, we’ll cover more ground that way!”
51. To the person who stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.
52. What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.
53. The neighbor keeps throwing soil over my wall; the plot thickens.
54. What did 2n+1 say to 2n? “I literally can’t even!”
55. A skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
56. What word starts with “e”, ends with “e”, and only has one letter in it? Envelope.
57. A giant sink hole has appeared in Birmingham. Police are looking into it.
58. Why are there poptarts but no momtarts? It’s because of the pastriarchy.
59. If A is for Apple and B is for Banana, then what is C for? Plastic explosives.
60. My friend told his wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked at him surprised.

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61. What did the sushi say to the bee? “Wasabi!”
62. Did you hear about this zoo where the only animal is a small dog? It’s a shih tzu.
63. I told my wife that I could make a car out of spaghetti. She didn’t believe me until I drove pasta.
64. What’s stronger than a fortune cookie? A hammer.
65. How do you make a one-armed man fall out of a tree? Wave.
66. Did you ever hear about the invention of the shovel? From what I’m to understand it was quite groundbreaking.
67. What’s a thousand times better than Instagram? Instakilogram.
68. I searched a list of ten puns to find one that made me laugh. No pun in ten did.
69. Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducked.
70. What’d the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
71. Why shouldn’t you fart in an Apple Store? Because they don’t have Windows.
72. What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine? A quarterback.
73. What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T? Teapot.
74. I hate telling people I’m a taxidermist. When they ask, “So, what do you do for a living?” I just say, “Oh, you know… stuff.”
75. What do we want? Low flying airplane noises. When do we want it? Neeeooooooow!
76. My wife asked me, “What starts with F and ends in K.” I said, “No it doesn’t.”
77. What kind of a prize do you give someone who hasn’t moved a muscle in a year? A trophy.
78. The elderly wife in the church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?” He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
79. What’s the 9 letters of the pirate alphabet? R, I, and the seven c’s.
80. What happens if the average number of bullies at a school goes up? The mean increases.

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81. I asked an Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German if they could see me. They responded, “Yes, oui, si, ja.”
82. Why are there never any good Reverend Jim Jones jokes? The punch-lines are always too long.
83. What do you call a burglar with dwarfism, coming down the stairs? A little con descending.
84. A dung beetle walks into the bar and asks the bartender, “This stool taken?”
85. What is E.T. short for? So he can fit inside his spaceship.
86. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
87. A woman sat down and asked the bartender for a double entendre. So he gave it to her.
88. A man is washing the car with his son. The son says, “Dad, can’t we just use a sponge?”
89. I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
90. I went to a really emotional wedding the other day. Even the cake was in tiers.
91. A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home, “Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!” Herman said, “It’s not just one car. There’s hundreds of them!”
92. And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.” But John came fifth, and won a toaster.
93. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired!
94. I tried to catch fog yesterday, Mist.
95. Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals.
96. Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
97. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
98. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
99. A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building. He yells, “Don’t do it! You have so much potential!”
100. We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea. Runs in our jeans.

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101. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
102. How do you think the unthinkable? With an itheberg.
103. To the handicapped guy who stole my bag, “You can hide but you can’t run.”
104. I clearly didn’t write this but someone stole my mood ring, I don’t know how I feel about that.
105. What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.
106. The first rule of Alzheimers club is don’t talk about chess club.
107. I got caught taking a pee in the local swimming pool. The lifeguard yelled at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
108. My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to get out of my fort.
109. What happens when the pope dies? Another popes up.
110. I have a Polish friend who’s a sound technician. Oh, and a Czech one too. Czech one too. Czech one too.
111. What do they call a Local Area Network in Australia? The Lan down under.
112. A man walks into a library and orders fish and chips. The librarian says, “This is a library.” The man, says, “Oh. Sorry.” (Then in a whisper) “I’d like some fish and chips.”
113. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
114. The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn’t talking to me.
115. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
116. Do you use your right hand to stir your coffee? Huh. I use a spoon.
117. What’s brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dre.
118. Dr Frankenstein entered a body-building contest. Upon arrival, he realized he misunderstood the objective.
119. When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.
120. What do you do if you see a space man? Park in it, man.

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121. What’s the difference between a good short joke and a bad short joke timing.
122. Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have little antybodies.
123. Before your criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you do criticize them, you’re a mile away and have their shoes.
124. My wife told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
125. How do you get two whales in a car? Start in England and drive west.
126. I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters. It’s shift work.
127. What’s the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted.
128. I used to be addicted to soap, but now I’m clean.
129. Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
130. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.
131. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. One shouts to the other, “I need you to help me get to the other side!” The other guy replies, “You are on the other side!”
132. My friend asked me to help him round up his 37 sheep. I said “40”.
133. Some people think it’s romantic to carve their names on trees in the park while on a date. A more worrying part is that why they’re bringing a knife on their date.
134. I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.
135. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
136. So what if I don’t know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world.
137. I, for one, enjoy the use of Roman numerals.
138. What do you call a paper airplane that won’t fly? Stationary.
139. My father convinced me to donate my organs after I die. He’s a man after my own heart.
140. Did you hear about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog.

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141. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
142. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Its mom was in a jam.
143. I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind lady. And that is how I lost my job as a bus driver.
144. The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves.
145. Rip boiling water. You will be mist.
146. A man was hit in the head with a soda. Good thing it was a soft drink.
147. What’s green and not heavy? Light green.
148. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers!
149. Why does the movie “speed” have no director? If it had direction, it’d be called velocity!
150. I like to tell dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs.
151. Where does ink go when it misbehaves? To a penitentiary.
152. I was going to tell you a short time travel joke but you didn’t like it.
153. Stay away from those trees over there. Why? They look shady.
154. You’ll know when your normal short  jokes turn into dad jokes because they’ll become apparent.
155. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
156. Nowadays not many people are called Lance, But in the Medieval period people were called Lance a lot
157. I didn’t think I’d like having a beard… but it grew on me.
158. If you’re American in the living room. And you’re American in the kitchen. What are you in the bathroom? European.
159. 6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.
160. Why shouldn’t you wear glasses when you play football? Because it’s a contact sport.

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161. I took up origami for a while, but I gave it up because it was too much paperwork.
162. Do your socks have holes in them? No. Then how’d you get your feet in them?!
163. A magician was walking down the street. Then, he turned into a grocery store.
164. Anyone can get buried when they die, if you want to be cremated you have to urn it.
165. What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
166. Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.
167. I was abducted by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.
168. If a computer could sing what would it’s name be? A dell.
169. I hate thoose people who knock on your door and say you need to get “saved” or else you will “burn.” Stupid firemen.
170. Two helium atoms walk into a bar. He He.
171. I like to tell cheesy short jokes, but all my friends are laughtose intolerant.
172. What do you get when you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A woolly jumper.
173. Do you know what’s the tallest building? The library, because it has the most stories.
174. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.
175. Why can’t you tell a bean a secret? Because beanstalk!
176. What’s green and walks through walls? Casper the Friendly Avocado.
177. I invented a thought-controlled air freshener. It makes scents when you think about it.
178. What did one nut say to the other nut it was chasing? ”I’ll cashew.”
179. I got beat up by 1,3,5,7 & 9. The odds were against me.
180. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Nacho cheese.
181. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
182. What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeño business.
183. Did you hear about the criminal who stole all the toilets from the police station? He didn’t leave any evidence. Poor cops have nothing to go on.
184. I recently read an article about the dangers of drinking. It scared the hell out of me, so I decided not to read the article again.
185. What’s the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? (I don’t know, what?) Sooo You’re The One!
186. Did you hear about the guy who had the whole left side of his body amputated? He’s alright now.
187. Grasshopper is sitting at the bar. The guy next to him says, “Hey, you know they make a drink named after you.” Grasshopper says, “They make a drink named Steve?”
188. Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because somebody told him to get a long little doggie.
189. What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? A spaghetto!
190. What has five toes and isn’t your foot? My Foot.
191. My friend got me an elephant for my room. When I said thanks, she said, “Don’t mention it.”
192. Did you hear about the pirate that bought himself a pair of earrings for $2? That’s not bad for a buccaneer!
193. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the dumb guy’s house. Knock, knock. (Who’s there?) It’s the chicken.
194. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it be R but his first love be the C.
195. The world’s best limboer walks into a bar. He’s disqualified.
196. A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers please.”
197. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on their ship? So they can Scandinavian.
198. A Mexican guy walks into a Chinese restaurant. He sees a bottle of black liquid on the table. He picks it up, reads the label, and says “You sure are!”
199. My ex-wife still misses me but her aim is getting better.
200. Three logicians walk into a bar. Bartender says, “Do you all want something to drink?” The first one replies, “I don’t know.” The second one replies, “I don’t know.” The third one replies, “Yes.”
201. What is the difference between an optimist, a pessimist and an engineer? An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees a glass half empty. An engineer sees a glass twice as big as it needs to be.
202. Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards? Because if they fell forward, they’d fall into the boat.
203. The bartender says, “I’m sorry, we don’t serve theoretical particles here.” A tachyon walks into a bar.
204. A man walked into a bar. He stayed there for my entire childhood.
205. Some dude threw a gallon of milk at me. How dairy!
206. A minister, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this some kind of joke?”
207. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question? Then just sit there.
208. When the inventor of the USB stick dies, they’ll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.
209. What’s the stupidest animal in the jungle? The polar bear.
210. A giraffe walks into a bar and says, “Highballs on me.”
211. How do you get 32 Canadians out of a swimming pool? Say, “Hey Canadians please get out of the swimming pool!”

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Do you have a funny short joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!