75 Funny Christmas Puns That Sleigh Hard in 2025

Christmas arrives like a cheerful guest who knows everyone’s name and snacks. Streets glow, homes buzz, and stories pass around faster than cookies, all tied together by warmth and laughter. Families gather, plans wobble, and small moments turn into big memories, with Christmas Puns quietly waiting to steal the spotlight.

With Christmas Puns quietly waiting to steal the spotlight, the mood shifts from cozy to clever as words start to dance around the tree. Conversations grow lighter, smiles last longer, and the season feels playful without trying too hard. By the time the night winds down, those clever twists of language feel like part of the celebration itself, keeping the spirit bright and easy.

Best Christmas Puns

1. I got my parents a new fridge for Christmas. I can’t wait to see their faces light up when they open it!
2. Santa only needed 10 reindeer on his sleigh this year… the other two were just remain-deer.
3. Darth Vader knew what Luke was getting for Christmas because he felt his presents.
4. The downside of being a bomb disposal technician is that it takes 6 hours to open Christmas gifts.
5. Forget nine, Santa has only two reindeer – Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer.)
6. If everybody loves Christmas so much… Why don’t they all just Merry Christmas?!
7. F got coal for Christmas because it was not E.
8. If you got a 4k TV for Christmas, your New Year’s resolution is 3840 x 2160.
9. If you want an unbeatable Christmas present for your friend, get them a broken drum.
10. How much does it cost to use Santa’s sleigh? 9 bucks.
11. My mom just called me Eminem because my Christmas presents were so beautiful… I guess I’m a wrap god.
12. On Christmas, a thief took my German bread. I guess you can say it was stollen.
13. The only red flags I’m attracting this time is my Santa costume.
14. A cat on the beach and Christmas have the same thing in common, SandyClaws.
15. Programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
16. What if Santa is really from northern Poland, and people just got confused when he said he was North Polish?!
17. They are selling Christmas tampons now because they are for the festive period.
18. I gave my pet deer cymbals for Christmas because I wanted more bang for my buck.
19. When Christmas lights get stressed, they hang themselves.
20. Santa feels claustrophobic when he gets stuck in a chimney.

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21. The bald man thanked everyone for the comb on Christmas and said that he would never part with it.
22. What does an English teacher call Santa’s helpers? Subordinate Clauses.
23. All of the Lord of the Rings cast were given Lego for Christmas, apart from Orlando Bloom…he was Legolas.
24. When writing to Santa, always say Proszę. Why? Because Santa is North Polish.
25. I once bought my kid a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, “Toys not included.”
26. Why does Santa need so many umbrellas? Because of all the rain, dear.
27. I’ve never disabled my cookies, but this one time I bit the legs off of a gingerbread man.
28. If sportsmen get athlete’s foot, do fighter pilots get mistletoe?!
29. A mall Santa’s least favorite flower is peonies (pee on knees).
30. I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It’s not her main present, just a stocking filler.
31. What do Spanish people have for Christmas dinner? Jam.
32. I’m going to open a restaurant that approximates food eaten in the far east around Christmas. I’ll call it Sim-Yule-Asian.
33. What does Julia Child say around Christmas? Happy Hollandaise!
34. I bought my girlfriend a hoover last Christmas… But she didn’t want it. So it’s just been collecting dust.
35. Why does Santa come down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soots him.

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36. My Christmas tree was so happy to come down, it was de-lighted.
37. What did the heart transplant patient say to the surgeon a year after surgery on Christmas Day? “Last Christmas, I gave you my heart. The very next day, you gave it a weigh.”
38. This year, I’m having horse meat for my Christmas dinner, including starters and dessert… but I’m worried I’ll be full before the mane course.
39. Why did the solicitor believe in Christmas? He read the santa clause.
40. There’s nothing like the joy on a kid’s face when he first sees the PlayStation box containing the socks I got him for Christmas.
41. How is the judge of a fishing contest like a Rudolph Christmas special? They’re both Rankin’ Bass.
42. It’s that time of year guys, have a little Christmas spirit for Christ’s sake.
43. Santa doesn’t pay anything for parking, it’s on the house.
44. I got a word-a-month calendar for Christmas, and now I’m trying to introduce “January” into my conversation without sounding too pretentious.
45. Every year for Christmas, I ask Satan to cure me of my dyslexia.
46. If Santa Claus got divorced… would that make him an independent clause?!
47. If you trim your Christmas tree, it will make your presents look bigger.
48. When my wife asked what she wanted for Christmas, she said to me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.” So I bought her nothing.
49. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
50. Christmas is no different than your job; you do all the work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.

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51. If a horse knocked on my door this evening, would it be the night mare before Christmas?!
52. What operating system does Santa Claus use? Red Hat Linux.
53. I was looking at an archery set for Christmas, you can even get it gift-wrapped so it comes with a bow!
54. You can get your wife a tampon with tinsel attached for the Christmas period.
55. It is reckless and illegal to give your true love any amount of wild birds for Christmas.
56. You know when Santa’s in the room because you can sense his presents.
57. I got a universal remote for Christmas. This changes everything.
58. The best way to build up to Christmas is with a Lego advent calendar.
59. A priest is similar to a Christmas tree in that their balls are just for decoration.
60. If Santa comes crashing down, it will raindeer.
61. I love getting drunk on Christmas. I guess you can say I’m getting into the holiday spirit.
62. You decorate a canoe for Christmas with oar-naments.
63. What do you call an imprisoned Santa Claus? Nicholas Cage.
64. When I was a child, my family was so poor that at Christmas, we exchanged glances.
65. If this pot of oil lasts eight days, it will be a Christmas miracle.

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66. In the movie Dumb & Dumber, if Mary had actually gotten together with Lloyd and married him, her name would’ve been Mary Christmas.
67. When a department store Santa loses his job, does he get the sack?!
68. There’s noel in Christmas.
69. Well, it’s finally that time of year when I put on my shiniest tin foil Christmas jacket, light up the tree, and reflect.
70. I tried to give my wife a pre-filled coffee grinder for Christmas, but my kid spilled the beans.
71. The wife told me she wants a bigger house by next Christmas… So I’ve bought her a diet book.
72. Did you know Jesus’ last name was Christmas? His mother was Mary Christmas.
73. Every year, Santa delivers presents to kids based on their parents’ income.
74. A redhead baker is a ginger bread-man.
75. Ever since his toy workshop operation expanded to Antarctica, Santa has been acting… bipolar.

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Do you have a funny pun about Christmas? Write down your one-liners in the comment section below!