What are your best Jimmy Savile jokes?
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A man walks into the library and asks the librarian, “Excuse me, would you have any books about Jimmy Savile?”
The Liberian replies, “Actually, we have sir, some boy just took it in the sh*tter.”
“That’s the one,” the man replies.
Haven’t had a single kid come to my door so far on Halloween night.
This Jimmy Savile costume is the business.
I had been seeing this girl for a while and she asked how many sexual partners I’d had.
“I’ve been very unlucky,” I said. “Only four.”
“Four?” she replied. “That’s not unlucky.”
“It is when they were Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, Gary Glitter, and Fred Talbot,” I answered.
Jimmy Savile was never paid for any of his work as a hospital/ mortuary porter.
He was working pro boner.
I still think it’s sad what happened to Jimmy Savile.
I remember the time he fixed it for me to milk a cow blindfolded.
Jimmy Savile often worked as a volunteer porter at Stoke Mandeville Hospital.
One time he was asked to deliver a dead body to the mortuary. When he arrived he said, “I’ve got a stiff for you here.”
“Just wheel it in and leave it next to the drawers, please.”
“I wasn’t talking to you.”
I was in a band called Jimmy Savile’s Spunk.
We covered The Specials.
The first time I realised I was ugly was when I was six.
Jimmy Savile said he only saw me as a friend.
What was Jimmy Savile’s favourite mythological monster?
Minor tour.
What is the difference b/w Jimmy Savile and a greyhound?
The Greyhound waits for the hair to appear first.