What is a meal with bad manners joke?
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A teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question: “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”
Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”
The teacher responded by saying: “That would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?”
Sherman said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?”
Johnny said, “I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, who I hope to introduce you to after dinner.”
This joke plays on the contrast between polite language and humorous euphemism. The teacher is trying to teach her students to use polite, refined language, especially in a formal or delicate situation like a dinner date. The first student, Michael, responds bluntly with “I have to go pee,” which is direct but considered rude. The second student, Sherman, improves slightly by excusing himself politely but still mentions the bathroom, which the teacher finds inappropriate for dinner table conversation. The humor peaks with Johnny’s response. He uses extremely polite and formal language, but his euphemism for using the restroom – “shake hands with a very dear friend” – is unexpectedly funny and clever. It’s a creative way to refer to a basic human need while still sounding genteel and respectful.