What is Google Pizza Joke?
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Caller: Is this Gordon’s Pizza?
Google: No sir, it’s Google Pizza.
Caller: I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
Google: No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
Caller: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
Google: Do you want your usual, sir?
Caller: My usual? You know me?
Google: According to our Caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
Caller: OK! That’s what I want …
Google: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
Caller: What? I detest vegetable!.
Google: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
Caller: How the hell do you know?!
Google: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
Caller: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
Google: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you only purchased a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
Caller: I bought more from another drugstore.
Google: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
Caller: I paid in cash.
Google: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
Caller: I have other sources of cash.
Google: That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
Caller: WHAT THE HELL?!!!
Google: I’m sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
Caller: Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me
Google: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…
The joke highlights the pervasive nature of modern technology companies, like Google, and their access to vast amounts of personal data. The caller, attempting to simply order a pizza, finds himself confronted with Google’s extensive knowledge about his health, spending habits, medication, and even legal matters. The humor emerges from the exaggerated and intrusive nature of Google’s responses, which escalate with each exchange. The punchline, revealing that even the caller’s escape plan is known to Google due to his expired passport, underscores the inescapable reach of technology and the loss of privacy in the digital age, presenting a satirical commentary on contemporary concerns.