What is Jimmy Carr's most offensive joke?
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People say dolphins are really intelligent. I think, ‘Yeah, but only compared to the retarded kids we’ve got them swimming with.’
The male gypsy moth can smell the female gypsy moth up to seven miles away – and that fact also works if you remove the word ‘moth’.
Jimmy Carr said – “When people talk about the Holocaust, they talk about the tragedy and horror of six million Jewish lives being lost to the Nazi war machine.
But they never mention the thousands of Gypsies that were killed by the Nazis.
No one ever wants to talk about that, because no one ever wants to talk about the positives. “
Saying that you don’t believe in magic but do believe in God is a bit like saying you don’t have sex with dogs, except Labradors.
The reason old men use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It’s that old women are so very ugly.
British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray.
“Is a dwarf an abortion that made it?”
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called ‘Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking’. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian…
If you tell a girl you like her but she says “I love you more like a brother”, suggest a weekend in Norfolk. Unless you’re from Norfolk, in which case it probably is your sister.
I’d rather see a pregnant woman standing on the bus than a fat girl sitting down crying.