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What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Towed.
Towed.
See lessWhat did the plumber say to the singer?
Nice pipes.
Nice pipes.
See lessWhy are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin!
Because nothing gets under their skin!
See lessWhat do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug.
Doug.
See lessWhat is your best Pagliacci joke?
The depressed clown, Pagliacci, visits a therapist incognito. He spends the hour talking about his depression. Nothing seems worth it anymore. He can’t smile at all. He has no wife or girlfriend to share his life with. Children’s smiles don’t make him happy anymore. His loving little dog doesn’t makRead more
The depressed clown, Pagliacci, visits a therapist incognito.
See lessHe spends the hour talking about his depression. Nothing seems worth it anymore. He can’t smile at all. He has no wife or girlfriend to share his life with. Children’s smiles don’t make him happy anymore. His loving little dog doesn’t make him happy. He is at the end of his rope.
Therapist: I think I have the answer. You need to laugh. Laughter can be like a magical cure-all. You need to visit the best clown in the world…
Pagliacci: But I….
Therapist: Jiggles! You need to go see Jiggles the Clown. He’s amazing! Literally the funniest man in the world. He can make anyone happy.
Pagliacci: But….
Therapist: Whatever you do, don’t go to Pagliacci. That clown sucks. He couldn’t make a stoner laugh.
Pagliacci: ….
Therapist: Absolute shit clown.
Have you ever heard about the Oscar Pistorius drinking game?
When you go to the bathroom you take 4 shots!
When you go to the bathroom you take 4 shots!
See lessWhat is the Hung like a black man joke?
A White man rubs on a genie bottle and the genie comes out and says, "Man, I've been in this damn bottle for 300 years, whatever you want, you don't even have to say it, just think it and it'll happen." The man closes his eyes, Bam Mansion! He closes his eyes again, Bam Filled with beautiful naked wRead more
A White man rubs on a genie bottle and the genie comes out and says, “Man, I’ve been in this damn bottle for 300 years, whatever you want, you don’t even have to say it, just think it and it’ll happen.”
See lessThe man closes his eyes, Bam Mansion! He closes his eyes again, Bam Filled with beautiful naked women.
And then he closes his eyes a third time. Later, three men in white hoods knock on his door. He answers it, and they take him outside and hang him.
Later, the genie is at the coffee shop talking to all the other genies, and he says to his friends, “Man I don’t get it, the first wish is always the mansion, the second wish is always women, but why on earth would this man like to be hung like a N*gga?”