Dark Humor Jokes in 2026 feel like humor that grew up without losing its edge. They speak to people who laugh during tough moments because it helps them cope, not because they are careless. The style is sharp, aware, and timed well, creating laughs that feel a little risky but still thoughtful and shared.
These jokes connect readers who enjoy smart laughter and trust timing more than noise. The style stays bold yet aware, letting people enjoy a laugh, nod in agreement, and carry on with lighter hearts.

Dark Jokes

What do Nicolas Maduro and P. Diddy have in common?
They both got their oil taken by the US government.

Why don’t necrophiliacs know their love language?
It’s a dead tongue.

We now know why Trump is renovating the White House.
It’s clear he loves balls…

What do Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy Dead People.

Dark Humor in 2026 is a lot like food…
Not everyone gets it.

I get so much hate for promoting LGBT agenda.
I’m non binary, I don’t have a genda.

In 2010, a group of pirates buried their treasure and earlier this year tried to recover it.. They tried everything: bloodhounds, radar, metal detectors, and sonar. But they couldn’t find their treasure.
One day, one of the pirates had a suggestion.
“Captain, we should break R Kelly out of prison”.
The Captain said, “This is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard, but go ahead. Why?”
“Captain, if anybody can find 15-year-old booty, it’s this guy!”

Back when Jeffrey Epstein was a teacher, he started a band…
It was called First Period.

What did JD Vance say to his couch?
“God, you’re sofa-cking hot.”

I heard Charlie Kirk transitioned recently.
His new pronouns are was/were.

A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant. After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her, “Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers.”
She replies, “Oh my god, am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?”
To which he responds, “No, you’ve got bowel cancer.”

Recommended: Dad Jokes of 2026

How do you say “handsome bl@ck guy” in Chinese?
“Goo loo king nee guo..”

What do you call a dead body in a public place?
Remains to be seen.

How did the STD escape from the hospital?
On crotches.

What do you call a kid who lost his parents?
An orphan.
What do you call a parent who lost their kid?
Free.

What would you call a worldwide weight-loss competition?
The Ozempics.

What’s the most violent mountain?
Kill-A-Man-Jaro.

What do you call a rude cow that’s now dead?
Beef jerky.

A plane crashes, and an air hostess and two male flight attendants survive.
They find themselves on a deserted island, with plenty of food and water, and they start living there while waiting for rescue.
After some time, physical needs begin to make themselves felt; they look at one another, they’re all very attractive, and they start “getting busy.”
After a wonderful month, unfortunately, the hostess falls ill and dies within a few days.
The two flight attendants are devastated, but after a few days, their physical needs start to return. The two attendants look each other in the eyes, they are very attractive… and so, first one and then the other, taking turns, they satisfy their needs.
After a few weeks, however, one attendant says to the other, “Enough, I can’t take it anymore. I’m sorry, but for me what we’re doing is against nature. I don’t feel up to it.”
The other replies, “Okay, you’re right. Let’s bury her.”

Why does Tesla produce only electric cars?
Because the gas is being used elsewhere.

What do you call an entire civilization under the influence of weed?
High society.

In the UK, you get a letter from the king when you turn 100.
And a message from Prince Andrew when you turn 13.

What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?
Pokemon.

Why are so many orphans great business people?
Because their parents left them a loan.

What is the best thing about a person who is half Muslim and half Asi@n?
When they try to fly a plane into a building, they miss because they are terrible drivers.

A husband and wife were married for 25 years.
They were famous for fighting constantly and generally disliking each other.
On their 26th wedding anniversary, the husband had a heart attack and died. A few days later, his widowed wife walked into the local newspaper’s office and asked to post an obituary.
The Ad editor informed her, “We can do 4 lines with a maximum of 80 words for $100.”
“Nah,” she said, “That’s a lot of money, and he didn’t do much. What else you got?”
“OK,” said the editor awkwardly, “We can do 3 lines and a maximum of 25 words for $35.”
“Nope, still too expensive…” she grimaced, “What else you got?”
Flustered, the editor wanted to get her out the door quickly, so he told her, “We have the economy option – 2 lines, 5 words max, $5.”
She agreed to that, so he filled out the order and asked, “OK ma’am, what do you want it to say?”
She thought for a moment, then responded: “Husband dead. Car for sale.”

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs riding in the bed of a pickup driving on a bumpy road?
Jocelyn.

Dark humor in 2026 is like a child with cancer….
It never gets old

What do you call an asian Dwayne Johnson?
The Wok.

Why do we hit things when they don’t work?
Because it worked with slavery.

Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Unless you’re prepared for the reaper cushions.

A man walks into the library and picks up a book on how to commit suicide.
The following conversation is had.
“Excuse me sir, can I pick up that book?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“No copies of this book are ever brought back, so we need to keep restocking it and it’s really expensive.”

How do you know when your wife is no more?
When the s*x is the same but the dishes keep piling up.

What does a vampire say when he wants to commit suicide?
“I think I’ll have the stake.”

Do you know what the amazing thing about AIDS is?
It’s the only disease that turns fruits into vegetables.

The doctor said, sadly, “Your dad is pronounced dead.”
Johnny said, “Wow, I’ve been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.”

An unpaid internship is nothing like actual slavery.
Slaves are given food and housing.

Did you hear about that terrible bird disease going around?
It’s called Chirpies.
It’s a canarial disease.
It’s untweetable!

What do you call a severely dis@bled child?
Names.

What do you call a dead magician?
An AbraCadaver.

Ever hear of the neurosurgeon with Parkinson’s disease?
He’s got a pretty shaky success rate.

What do you call a dis@bled sauna?
Vegetable steamer.

Why do we refer to priests as “father”?
Because it would be too suspicious to call them “daddy”.

Recommended: Racist Jokes

If a Muslim is dating a bunch of fat chicks…
Is it a haram harem?!

An ICE Agent catches an illegal immigrant running in Minneapolis, he pulls him out and says, “Sorry, you know the law, we have got to take you in for questioning and checking papers.”
The Mexican immigrant pleads with him, “No, noooo, Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!” The ICE Agent thinks to himself, ‘I’m going to make it hard for him,’ and says, “Ok, I’ll let you stay if you can use 3 English words in a sentence.”
The Mexican, of course, agrees. The ICE Agent tells him, “The 3 words are Green, Pink, and Yellow…….Now use all of them in 1 sentence.”
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, “Hmmm, Ok…… The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?”

Why don’t asians get cataracts?
They prefer to drive rincolns.

What is a slave’s favorite junk food?
Cotton candy.

Dark Humor in 2026 is a lot like clean drinking water…
Not everyone gets it.

What’s the difference between racism and Asians?
Racism has many faces.

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married, and has 12 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries shortly after, and has another 15 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.
At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says, “At least they’re finally together.”
A guy sitting in the front row asks, “Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?”
The priest says, “I mean her legs.”

Why did the Muslim woman lose the boxing match?
She had a nice hijab but no rights.

Do you have a new Dark Humor Joke for 2026? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!