Halloween in 2025 comes with a twist, thanks to the year’s biggest craze, AI-powered haunted houses that actually talk back. You step in, and instead of a creaky door, you get a sarcastic ghost asking if you’ve updated your spooky settings. Trick-or-treating has also gone next-level, with robotic candy carts rolling down the streets like they own the place. And with all this futuristic fun, there’s still one thing everyone agrees on: Halloween Jokes are just as important as the candy, maybe even sweeter.
These jokes travel faster than the new self-flying broom deliveries, passed around in group chats, whispered in dark corners, and shouted across crowded streets. Kids love them, teens remix them, and even the AI ghosts can’t resist cracking one now and then. In 2025, the monsters might be more high-tech, but the laughter is still delightfully old-school, making Halloween Jokes the perfect magic spell to keep the night fun instead of frightening.
Best Halloween Jokes of 2025
What’s Donald Trump going to be for Halloween?
President of the United States.
What’s it called when you go number 1 in a haunted bathroom?
A creepy peepee.
Number 2?
A spooky dookie.
What does Trump shout when he sees Dracula fleeing from a crime scene?
“Stop the Count!”
“Mommy, Mommy! Everyone in school calls me a vampire!”
“Don’t listen to that nonsense, sweetie. Now eat your soup before it clots.”
What is Aladdin’s favorite thing on Halloween?
A boo!
What is Kamala Harris least favorite Halloween Special?
Its the Great Trumpkin Charlie Brown.
Robert Pattinson must be the worst vampire ever.
It took him 15 years to figure out how to turn into a bat.
Why did the Grim Reaper schedule an appointment with his eye doctor?
He was having issues with his death perception.
Dracula movies are never rebooted.
They are only revamped.
What’s Trump’s favorite thing to do on Halloween?
Trick and Tweet.
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What do Frankenstein and Arnold Schwarzenegger have in common?
They’re both bodybuilders.
A photographer goes to a haunted castle, determined to get a picture of a ghost on Halloween.
The ghost he encounters turns out to be friendly and poses for a snapshot. The happy photographer later downloads his photos and finds that the photos are underexposed and completely blank.
Moral of the story: The spirit is willing, but the flash is weak.
Why didn’t the skeleton eat any spicy foods?
He didn’t have the stomach for it.
What is a vampire’s favorite beer?
Bloodweiser.
Why do all witches wear black?
So you can’t tell which witch is which.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Boo
(Boo who?)
You don’t need to cry about it.
For the past six years, I’ve put up with my son wearing a ridiculous mouse costume for Halloween, but this year, I’m not gonna tolerate it.
No more Mr. Mice Guy.
What do you call a person who is frightened easily by The Simpsons’ Halloween specials?
Homer Phobic.
What Arab country’s zombie population is the largest?
BAHRAIIIIIN’S.
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What do you call a werewolf YouTuber?
A lycansubscribe.
The boss said no costumes in the office for Halloween this year.
But this co-worker wore a traditional Indian dress today. She said it was because it is Dewali. I told her that was a sari excuse.
Life Pro Tip: Don’t go as a band-aid this Halloween.
It’s …really hard to pull off.
Why are vampires bad at art?
They can only draw blood…
Who is Dracula’s favorite actress?
Neck-hole Kidman.
Son: “What are you going to be for Halloween, Dad?”
Father: “Drunk.”
Son: “What’s mom gonna be?”
Father: “Mad.”
Why did the linguini join the Ghostbusters?
Because it wasn’t alfredo no ghost!
If Count Von Count is a vampire who likes numbers, what do you call a vampire who likes words?
Count Vernacula.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when he realized he brought the wrong body back to life?
“I’ve made a grave mistake!”
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A friend of mine dressed as Bill Gates one Halloween and he looked nothing like him but the next year he dressed as Jim Morrison and the costume was perfect.
I told him he makes a much better door than a window.
What is the periodic table called on Halloween?
The Atoms family!
What do you call a family of skeletons sneaking around?
Skull kin.
An Irishman was invited to a Halloween party.
When he showed up, he was wearing deedly-bobs, dragging cellophane behind him, and his girlfriend was on his back.
The host asked what he was supposed to be.
He pointed to the deedly-bobs and says, “I’m a snail! These are me antennae.”
He pointed to to cellophane and said, “That’s me slime trail.”
“And your girlfriend?” asked the host.
“That’s Michelle!”
What did the zombie say when he saw a passenger train?
“Oh goody!!! a chew chew train.”
This year for Halloween, I’m going dressed as a packet of petrol station sushi.
‘Cause that’ll always come back to haunt you.
What is the dung beetle’s favorite Halloween treat?
Feces pieces.
What would the Cookie Monster be if he were a god?
Omnomnomnipotent.
This Halloween I’m dressing as a nickel.
Be the change you want to see in the World.
Why don’t vampires make good project managers?
They’re afraid of talking to stakeholders!
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What do you call a family that lifts weights on Halloween?
The pump kin.
What do you call a group of witches farting in bed?
A Dutch coven.
They shouldn’t call Frankenstein’s creation a “monster”.
In fact he was very level-headed.
I just saw 2 identical twins dressed up for Halloween…
I couldn’t tell Witch was Witch.
A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer.
“I’m here for the costume party,” he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig.
“What are you supposed to be?” the bartender asks.
“I’m a werewolf,” the guy replies.
“How’s that? You’re not dressed up at all,” the bartender says.
“Well, it’s not a full moon tonight, now is it, Mr. Smart Guy?” the guy replies.
What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween?
Baaaaad to the bone.
How did the zombie get so good at dressing for Halloween?
They had total DEAD-ication.
I went as Elon Musk this year for Halloween.
I went trick or tweeting.
What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he decided on his Halloween costume?
“I’ll be Bach.”
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What do you call a mythical Scottish creature that roams around ringing doorbells?
The knock less monster.
What do you call a vampire who farts?
Nosferatoot.
Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
It didn’t have a haunting license.
How did the witch form her group into a circle?
She set the coven to 360 degrees.
Before Halloween, I ordered a costume on Amazon of my favorite literary character, and it FINALLY arrived…
I’ll be Holmes for Christmas.
What does a zombie plumber say?
“Drains!”
What does a zombie pilot say?
“Planes!”
What does a zombie construction worker say?
“Cranes!”
What does a zombie pyromaniac say?
“Flames!”
Why did the ghost go into the bar on Halloween night?
For the boos!
What condiments do space aliens pack for their trips?
Flying sauces.
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This Halloween I went as a ‘former gifted student.’
I just wore normal clothes, and when people asked me what I was supposed to be, I sighed and said “I was supposed to be a lot of things.”
There was a vampire who went to medical school and became an ear, nose and throat specialist.
He was pretty good at the first two but kind of sucked at the last one.
How did the Halloween store stay open during the labor shortage?
They operated with a skeleton crew.
What’s Dracula’s favorite part of baseball?
The bats!
I decided I’m going to dress up as a hot dog with a beer mug for Halloween this year.
You know, Frank and Stein.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class when they didn’t understand the lesson?
“Everyone, look at the board. I’ll go through it again!”
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How can you tell Halloween is just around the corner?
Stores start putting out their Christmas decorations.
My friend told me he needed a date for Halloween.
I told him, October 31st.
Why can’t you take a Ghostbuster on a hike in the woods?
Because you’ll have to leave them at the stream.
How does a ghost open a locked door?
With a spook key.
What does a turkey dress up as on Halloween?
A gobblin.
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What should you serve with a Halloween turkey?
Gravey.
What do you call a zombie who stir fries?
Dead man wokking.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween?
Wrap music!
Why didn’t the Alien get a job at the corporation?
He applied, for a job in Human Resources.
What could the Mafia not kill Frankenstein’s monster?
He’s a made man.
Why did a family ignore the kids knocking on their door on Halloween asking for sweets?
They were ghosting them.
“Mr Vampire, what’s your secret? How do you stay so youthful?”
“Just B positive.”
Little Jimmy decided to dress up as a pirate for Halloween at school.
His teacher saw his outfit and said, “That’s a wonderful pirate outfit, but where are your buccaneers?”
To which Jimmy said, “Are you blind or somethin’? They’re right here on me buckin’ head.”
My Spanish friend dressed as a D.C. superhero for Halloween, he was…
BatManuel.
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Did you hear about the new book on constipation?
It hasn’t come out yet.
Why is it safe to tell a mummy your secret?
It’ll keep it under wraps!
What did the fisherman say on Halloween?
“Trick or trout!”
Do you have a new Halloween Joke in 2025? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
I’m celebrating Halloween with the kids from my philosophy class…
We’re going to a Kanted house and later we might play Heidegger seek.
I’ve been trying to throw away all my Halloween desserts, but they keep coming back…
They’re Boo Meringues.
Do you know why all witches love cheese?
Because they’re briewitched!