The New Year is a special time when calendars flip, goals feel brand new, and kids sense that something exciting is in the air. Schools talk about fresh starts, families stay up later than usual, and even bedtime feels negotiable because a brand new year is knocking. For kids, it feels like the world presses a reset button where homework stress fades for a moment, and fun takes center stage. That cheerful mix of celebration and curiosity naturally leads to New Year Jokes for Kids.
These jokes keep that cheerful energy rolling by turning the excitement into laughter that fits young minds. By the time the year officially begins, laughter has already done its job of making the moment memorable.
Kid-Friendly New Year Jokes
What is corn’s favorite day of 2026?
New Ear’s Day.
What happened to the thief who stole a 2025 calendar?
His days are numbered.
What does the rabbit say on New Year’s Day?
“Hoppy New Year!”
Why was the math book sad at the New Year 2026?
Because it had too many problems from the past year!
What do you say when you see someone after midnight on New Year’s Day?
“I haven’t seen you since last year!”
How do farmers celebrate the New Year?
They turnip the beets!
Where did the mathematician hang out on New Year’s Eve?
Times Square.
What’s a New Year’s resolution you can actually keep?
To stop lying about your New Year’s resolutions!
Did you hear about the firecracker’s New Year’s Eve party?
It was a BANG!
People need to stop saying Happy New Year 2026.
It’s clearly not working.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Hannah.
(Hannah who?)
Hannah Happy New Year!
What’s a tree’s New Year’s resolution?
To turn over a new leaf!
What did the camera wish for itself on New Year’s Eve?
A better resolution.
What’s a spider’s 2026 New Year’s resolution?
To spend less time on the web!
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What’s a snowman’s New Year’s resolution?
To chill out more!
Why did the spoon come to the New Year’s party dressed as a knife?
The invitation said to look sharp.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Razor.
(Razor who?)
Razor glass and toast to a happy new year.
How do you know it’s midnight on New Year’s Eve?
The clock hands it to you!
What’s the best thing about New Year’s Eve?
The countdown because it’s the only time everyone agrees on something!
What do you call a New Year’s Eve party for mathematicians?
A countdown function.
Where does Sir Lancelot go on the 31st of December night?
A knight club.
How does NASA organize the New Year’s event?
They planet.
Yo mama so fat, she’s already in 2026.
Did you hear that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions?
So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd.
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Why don’t eggs tell jokes at New Year’s parties?
They would crack each other up!
My friend had an interview last year to be the person who starts the visual presentation of the New Year’s celebration in Market Square.
He dropped the ball.
What does a house wear to a New Year’s Eve party?
Address.
What did one confetti say to the other confetti?
“Pull yourself together.”
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Howie.
(Howie who?)
Howie gonna stay up till midnight?!
Why was the clock so calm on New Year’s Day?
It had time on its side.
Did you hear about the guy who was able to keep all of his New Year’s resolutions?
…tucked away in a journal on his bookshelf.
Why did the skeleton go to the New Year’s party alone?
Because he had no body to go with.
How do you make the New Year’s ball drop more entertaining?
Add another ball.
What does a field grow on January 1st?
New Year’s hay.
How does a pre-teen celebrate the New Year?
The Ball Drop.
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What’s the best resolution for the new year?
4K.
What was Dr. Frankenstein’s New Year’s resolution?
To make new friends.
What is Bill Nye’s real name?
William New Year’s Eve.
Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year’s Eve?
He wanted to start the year with sweet dream.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Champ.
(Champ who?)
Champagne wishes for the New Year!
What do you call the last day of December instead of New Year’s Eve?
December 2nd, because it’s the last second of the year.
What do you call those awkward days between Christmas and New Year?
The Merryneum.
Did you hear about the astronauts who wanted to have a New Year’s party on the moon?
But they didn’t planet in time.
What did the cat say on New Year’s Eve?
“Meow.”
Why do people use fire during the New Year?
Because fireworks.
Before the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, why should one lift his/her left leg?
That way you will start off the new year on the right foot.
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Do you know what turtles do on New Year’s Eve?
They shellabrate!
What do dogs say on New Year’s Eve?
“Woof.”
What did the little champagne bottle call his father?
“Pop!”
Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?
To start off the new year in a cool way.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Abby.
(Abby who?)
Abby New Year!
What’s Bill Nye’s favorite day?
New Years Eve.
What do you call the last day of December instead of New Year’s Eve?
December 2nd, because it’s the last second of the year.
Why was the telephone late for work on Jan. 1?
It was busy ringing in the new year!
What do New Year’s Eve parades and Santa Claus have in common?
No one is ever awake to see them.
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What’s a balloon’s favorite kind of New Year’s story?
One that’s uplifting!
What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
Auld Fang Syne.
What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?
Social Security.
What is the difference between Youth and Middle age?
Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?
Waiting for the punchline.
What should a basketball player never make as a New Year’s resolution?
To travel more.
Have you heard about the guy who began preparing breakfast at midnight on December 31?
He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Reso.
(Reso who?)
Reso-lutely ready for a fresh start!
Did you hear that Dracula passed out at midnight on New Year’s Eve?
There was a count down.
Who is most thrilled about the New Year’s Eve countdown?
Calendar Publishers.
How does rain celebrate the New Year 2026?
By making many pour decisions!
It was New Year’s Eve.
The police caught two individuals. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve.
After some time, one was charged and the other was let off.
What became of the man who stole a calendar on New Year’s Eve?
He got 12 months!
How can you define a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.
What is the favorite holiday of a cow?
Moo Year’s Day!
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On January 1st, what does a ghost say?
“Happy Boo Year!”
What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?
The New Year’s Eve clean-up crew.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Scold.
(Scold who?)
Scold enough out here to go ice skating on New Year’s!
On January 1st, 2026, what does a caterpillar do?
Turns over a new leaf.
What New Year’s resolution is guaranteed to be successful?
Making a resolution to break your resolution.
What do you say when bidding farewell on December 31st?
“See you next year!”
What food should you avoid on December 31st, 2024?
Firecrackers.
What did a ghoul say on December 31st?
“Happy New Fear!”
Do you have a funny New Year’s Joke for kids? Write down your best kid-friendly ones in the comment section below!
