Santa Claus is the jolliest guy around, and he has a belly laugh that can shake snow off rooftops! He flies in a sleigh pulled by reindeer, stuffs chimneys with presents, and munches cookies like it’s a sport. But did you know Santa’s elves also has a special talent for cracking groan-worthy dad jokes? Oh yes, when they are not working or stuffing stockings, they are stuffing ears with some good old-fashioned Santa Dad Jokes!
These jokes are like gifts that keep on giving, packed with snowy puns and festive wordplay. Our readers love testing them on their friends and family. From the North Pole to your holiday dinner table, Santa Dad Jokes are proof that even the most magical guy in the world can’t resist being a victim of our humor.
Funniest Santa Dad Jokes
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England.
Guess you could say he sleighed it.
Where does Santa stay when he travels?
At the Ho-Ho-Hotel!
Why doesn’t Santa use an elevator?
Because he’s afraid of being caught in a Claus-trophobic situation.
What nationality is Santa?
North polish.
What goes “Oh Oh Oh”?
Santa walking backwards.
What do you call the terms and conditions on a Christmas present?
Santa clauses.
What do you call Santa when he’s on a break?
Santa Pause.
What does Santa do when his elves misbehave?
He gives them the cold shoulder.
Santa actually only had two reindeer.
Rudolph and Olive (the other reindeer).
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had low elf-esteem.
Where does Santa go to buy stuff for the naughty kids?
Kohl’s.
How does Santa keep his suit wrinkle-free?
He uses Claus-tarch.
What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
Why does Santa go down the chimney?
Because it soots him.
Why was Santa’s helper depressed?
He had low elf-esteem.
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What do you call Santa when he’s lost weight?
Saint Nickel-less.
Wouldn’t Santa Clause with Noel’s be Santa Cause?!
What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas quacker.
What did the owl say after putting the Santa hat on?
“HOO HOO HOO!”
What’s Santa’s favorite pizza?
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even.
What do Santa’s elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
What do you call an elf who sings?
A wrapper.
Why don’t you ever see Santa hiding in trees?
Because he’s good at staying out of the pine-light.
What do you call someone who isn’t sure whether Santa exists or not?
Eggnogstic.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?
Sandy Claws.
How does Santa take pictures?
With his North Pole-aroid.
What’s Santa’s favorite snack?
Crisps and snow peas.
How does Santa get to work?
By icicle.
What city has an iron statue of Saint Nick?
Santa Fe.
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What’s red and white and gives presents to good girls and boys?
Santa Paws.
Why doesn’t Santa need health insurance?
He has his own private Elfcare.
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window?
“Looks like rain-dear.”
What is Santa’s least favorite type of tea?
Naughtea.
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho-ho-ho.
Can you name a present day celebrity?
Santa.
What do you call Santa when he stops moving?
Santa Pause.
Why did Santa bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
What does Santa clean his sleigh with?
Santa-tizer.
What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson.
What do you call Santa’s most impolite reindeer?
Rude-olph.
What do you call Santa’s helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do Santa’s elves drive?
Toy-otas.
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What do you get if you cross Santa with a Cowboy?
Jolly Ranchers.
Why was the Christmas tree bad at knitting?
It was afraid of needles.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
What do you call an elf who steals?
A klepto-gnome.
Why does Santa prefer chimneys?
Because the door is locked.
How do you help Santa when he’s overworked?
Give him a Santa-tional break.
What does Santa use to fix his sleigh?
Elf tape.
What do you call Santa when he’s lost his sleigh?
Saint Nicked.
What’s Santa’s favorite type of pizza?
One with sleigh-ami.
Why doesn’t Santa wear any underwear?
Because he’s Saint Knicker-less!
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What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues.
What makes Santa Claus so gangsta?
He’s a wrap artist.
Did you hear that Santa died?
They say it was by natural Clauses.
Why was Hipster Santa arrested for arson?
Because he was putting coal in bad kids stockings before it was cool.
My friend got a job at Santa’s workshop, but he’s only making toys for himself.
He’s being so elfish.
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
How do you know when Santa is around?
You can sense his presents.
What’s Santa’s favourite metal band?
Sleigher.
Who’s Santa’s favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley.
Why do Dasher and Dancer love coffee?
Because they are Santas Star Bucks!
Why did Santa put a “Help Wanted” sign outside of the elves workshop?
He was short staffed.
Where does Santa keep his coat?
In the Clause-it.
What is Santa Clarus’ favorite millennial word?
“SLEIGH!”
How is Santa’s nice and naughty list organized?
Elfabetically.
What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly ?
Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.
What was Santa’s favorite subject in school?
Chemis-tree!
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What is Santa’s favorite sandwich?
Peanut butter and jolly.
Who is Santa Claus favorite actress?
Holly Berry.
What do you call a Santa Claus whose legs are different lengths?
Slanta Claus.
How did the Easter Bunny end up in Santa’s sleigh?
It was Hoppenstance.
Do you have a funny dad joke on Santa Claus? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!
