World War 3 sounds like the kind of thing you hear in a serious history class, but these days, people throw the term around every time two countries start arguing on X platform. With world leaders acting like kids fighting over snacks, and everyone glued to their phones waiting for a breaking news alert, it’s no wonder people start thinking the next global war might be scheduled between Netflix binges and dinner.
That’s where World War 3 Jokes come marching in, without a uniform but full of sarcasm. In a world where headlines feel like punchlines, these jokes help people laugh at the chaos before the chaos laughs back. Whether it’s political drama or leaders flexing with zero gym time, World War 3 jokes turn fear into funny, one ridiculous comment at a time.

Best WW3 Jokes

How do you get Americans to join a World War?
Tell them it’s nearly finished.

Emanuel Macron warns they will not participate in a US-Iran armed conflict.
Many wonder what a World War without France would be like…

What’s the most ironic thing about WW3?
The Germans will fight the USA and Russia again but this time they’ll be the good guys.

When is World War 4?
World War 3 is boring as f.. already.

What would happen if two African countries got into a war?
A 3rd World War.

If women ruled the world, there would be no WW3.
Just a bunch of countries not talking to each other.

Why would Gabe Newell be a good president?
Because then World War 3 would never happen.

World War 3 will probably be delayed,
Not by diplomacy, but by server maintenance.

President Trump has today apologised for America being late for two world wars..
And promised they would be really punctual for the next one.

In the future, wars will be fought on a budget.
The global economy has collapsed so badly that no country can afford real weapons anymore. A man signs up to serve in his country’s army and is sent to training camp. The sergeant hands him a piece of wood shaped like a rifle, with a rubber bayonet stuck on the end.
“Alright, men! Here’s how it works now. You point your rifle at the enemy and shout ‘bangety bang!’ Then you stab with your bayonet and yell ‘stabbity stab!’”
The soldiers look at each other, confused. But orders are orders.
A few days later, they’re deployed to the battlefield. Across the field, the enemy is lined up, also holding wooden rifles with rubber bayonets. As the two sides march toward each other, the shouting begins.
“Bangety bang! Stabbity stab!”
Miraculously, soldiers fall left and right. Thousands are “killed” by pretend bullets and fake stabs. It’s chaos. Somehow, it works.
Amidst the piles of fallen men, our confused but surviving hero stands alone. Suddenly, he spots one enemy soldier walking slowly toward him. Oddly, this one has no rifle, no bayonet—nothing.
As the enemy approaches, the hero prepares to strike. He yells, “Bangety bang! Stabbity stab!”
Nothing.
The enemy doesn’t fall. He just keeps walking, knocks the hero over, and calmly steps across him.
The last thing our hero hears is the enemy muttering under his breath: “Tankety tank… tankety tank…”

Recommended: World War 2 Jokes

We switched from coronavirus to the Third World War…
Which idiot changed from zombie mode to multiplayer?!

Imagine a world where nobody is starving
A world where everybody is happy. Everybody is friendly. A world with no conflict. No wars. No weapons.
Now, imagine invading that world because they would never see it coming.

In World War 3, the scariest weapon might be someone hacking your fridge to play K-pop at full volume.

There’s not going to be another World War. Calm down.
“World War” implies that America still has allies.

Before starting World War 3.
The Russians should consider finishing World War 1 and upgrading their weapons.
Donald Trump and Marco Rubio are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, “Isn’t that Trump and Rubio sitting over there?”
The bartender replies, “Yep, that’s them.”
The man walks over to their table, excited. “Wow, this is a real honor! What are you guys doing in here?”
Trump leans back and says, “We’re planning World War III.”
The guy blinks. “Really? What’s going to happen?”
Rubio replies, “Well, we’re going to kill 140 million Mu$lims and one blonde with big t*ts.”
The guy stares. “A blonde with big t*ts? Why would you kill a blonde with big t*ts?”
Rubio turns to Trump and says, “See, I told you—no one gives a crap about the 140 million Muslims.”

New Zealand would be so safe in the case of World War 3.
It’s not even on the map!

What did the U.S president say before starting WW3?
“Nukes… You’re fired!”

If World War 3 breaks out, Gen Z will fight by sending memes and canceling enemy countries online.

What did I do when I got drafted to the US Army for the WW3?
Iran.

Recommended: Russia Jokes

In the midst of World War 3, a fighter pilot is shot down behind enemy lines and taken prisoner.
Upon reaching the prisoner encampment, the pilot notices three tents in front of him before he is approached by the enemy commander.
“Prisoner! We will give you an opportunity to gain your freedom by completing three challenges in the tents behind me, which, if successfully completed, you will be granted your freedom immediately. If you fail, you will be executed.”
The pilot thinks it over for a moment and agrees to take a shot at the challenges in the tents.
“In the first tent,” the commander explains, “are two fifths of vodka. You must consume both bottles without succumbing to alcohol poisoning, and continue to complete the final two challenges immediately.”
The pilot replies “Hell, that’s normal for me every time I’m on leave. What’s next?”
“In the second tent, there is a lion with a bad tooth. You must successfully extract the tooth after drinking the vodka without being mauled by the lion, and continue on to complete the final challenge.
The pilot anxiously agrees. “And the third tent?”
“In the third tent, there is a woman who has never been sexually satisfied in her entire life. You must complete the first two challenges and satisfy the woman, at which time you will be released immediately.”
The pilot agrees and anxiously enters the first tent. After three hours, the pilot finally emerges, so drunk that he can barely walk. He is then guided to the second tent containing the lion with the bad tooth.
After a brief moment of tense silence, the tent begins to shake, and the pilot is heard screaming, and the lion roaring. After a few minutes of this, all falls quiet.
Suddenly, the pilot stumbles out of the tent, bloody and mangled, and loudly exclaims –
“All right! Where’s that b*tch that needed her tooth pulled?”

Are we Russian into WW3?
Or am I Putin the blame on the wrong dudez?

What would horses use against each other if they start a world war?
Neighpalm.

What war came about from the invention of the wheel?
The revolution.

They say World War 3 could destroy the world.
I say it’ll just destroy everyone’s screen time limit.

Nowadays, the world map looks like a human being.
Asia is like the brain; all the smart things come from there.
The Middle East is like the stomach, all the churning and rumbling, like all the wars happening right now
Europe is like the backbone, trying to maintain world peace and keep the world in shape.
And then there’s America, where the a$$h0le trying to expel sh*t.

Everyone saying we’re on the brink of World War 3, is talking nonsense.
The French are nowhere near surrendering.

Love the internet,
But why are all the sites named after World Wars?!

Recommended: Iran Jokes

Who’s the actress who worked in the industry for the World Wars?
Sandra Belic.

Why is World War 3 going to be weird?
Because half the army will be livestreaming it for content.

What song will play during World War 3?
Probably something upbeat… sponsored by TikTok.

Do you have a funny World War 3 Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!