Groundhog Day is that quirky holiday where we all turn our attention to a furry little creature to predict the weather. It’s like Mother Nature’s version of a meteorologist, except with more fur and less accuracy. Every February 2nd, the groundhog emerges from its burrow, and legend has it, if it sees its shadow, we’re in for six more weeks of winter. If not, an early spring is on the way. It’s a tradition that dates back to ancient times, and let’s be honest, it’s kind of odd relying on a groundhog for a weather forecast. But hey, it’s all in good fun, and it brings us to the funniest Groundhog Day jokes!
These jokes are real sunshine of this chilly winter tradition. These jokes have a charm of their own, much like the groundhog’s alleged weather-predicting skills. It’s a day when everyone becomes a comedian, armed with puns about shadows, burrows, and of course, the never-ending winter. Teachers roll out groundhog-themed jokes in classrooms, parents groan at the breakfast table with pun-filled quips, and social media is abuzz with memes and witty one-liners. It’s a day where the groundhog isn’t just a weather forecaster but also an unwitting muse for humorists everywhere. So, let’s embrace the silliness of it all and chuckle our way through Groundhog Day, regardless of whether that furry little prognosticator sees its shadow or not.
Best Groundhog Day Jokes
Does anyone know any good Groundhog Day jokes?
Because I keep hearing the same ones over and over
What animal takes up the most land?
A groundhog.
What did the French groundhog see when he woke up?
His château.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
Ground Hog.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Howie.
(Howie who?)
Howie much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?!
Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?
I really suck at Guac-a-mole.
Why is coronavirus like Groundhog Day? (The actual day, not the film)
If you stick your head outside and encounter another person, you get 6 more weeks of quarantine.
Why was the groundhog a good musician?
He had perfect timing – knew exactly when to come out!
What did the groundhog’s trainer tell him before the Olympics?
Gopher gold.
What do you get when you cross a groundhog with a Maple Leaf?
Six more weeks of hockey.
What does it mean when a groundhog sees a maple leaf on Feb. 02?
Six more weeks of bad hockey!
Have you ever eaten groundhog?
How about sausages? That’s ground hog.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Six.
(Six who?)
Six more or fewer weeks of winter, depending on whether the groundhog sees his shadow or not!
What do you call an animal that hoards all the dirt?
A groundhog.
What do you call a groundhog who loves cold weather?
An ice-solated individual!
What would you call a pig that obeys the laws of gravity?
A groundhog.
What is the similarity between Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address?
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
Recommended: February Jokes
This golfer goes to confession and begs the priest for forgiveness because he has sinned.
“Tell me your transgressions, my son,” the priest says.
“Well, I was on the 5th hole last week and I hate to say it, but I cursed,” the guy continues.
“What happened, my son?” inquires the priest.
“So I teed it up and whacked it about 40 yards past the hole…”
“And you swore then, my son?” the priest inquires.
“No. After the ball ceased to move, a groundhog caught it in its mouth and began racing away from the hole.”
“And is that when you swore, my son?” the priest inquires.
“No. Because, believe it or not, a bald eagle swooped down from the sky, grabbed the groundhog, and flew up in the air… and by God, the ball fell out of the groundhog’s mouth and landed two feet from the hole.”
“Wait,” says the priest, “Don’t tell me you missed that f*cking putt.”
What do you call a male pig with no legs and delusions of being a weather forecaster?
Groundhog.
What do you call a pig who spends all day digging in the dirt?
A groundhog.
Why don’t groundhogs trust weather reports?
They prefer to “spring” into action themselves!
The ground smells like dirt, and hogs smell like mud, but how do groundhogs smell?
With their noses just like everyone else.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Groundhog.
(Groundhog who?)
You don’t know what a groundhog is? What a fool!
How do you make a groundhog?
Use a mortar and pestle.
Why did the groundhog donate so much to charity?
He was Phil-anthropist.
What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?
“You ain’t nothing but a groundhog.”
What does grandpa read on groundhog’s day?
The repost.
Recommended: Hedgehog Jokes
Did you know that the groundhog loves his new hole?
He digs it.
Where do groundhogs with health issues go to?
Hogwarts.
Why is Groundhog’s day like a ballerina’s wardrobe?
They’re both 2-2’s.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Whistle.
(Whistle who?)
Whistlepig, another name for Groundhog!
How do groundhogs move their homes?
With wheelburrows.
How did the groundhog become a boxing champion?
He was great at throwing shadow punches!
Phil was dismissed from the Punxsutawney soccer squad for what reason?
For being a ball hog.
What do you call a groundhog who drives in the center of the road?
A road hog.
What happens to sick groundhogs?
They go to hogspital.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Pun.
(Pun who?)
Punxsutawney Phil.
What’s green and jumps out of a hole on February 2nd?
A ground frog.
What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?
He became a pound hog!
What did the groundhog say when the wolf grabbed his tail?
“That’s the end of me!”
Before the Olympics, what did the groundhog’s trainer advise him?
Gopher gold.
What do groundhogs put on pancakes?
Hog cabin syrup.
What do you call a Harley Davidson with no tires?
A groundhog.
Which hockey player is best at forecasting the weather?
“Puck” satawny phil.
What’s a groundhog’s favorite drink?
Hole milk.
Why don’t groundhogs share their secrets?
Because they always go underground!
What did Elvis say when he divorced the rodent?
“You ain’t nothing but a groundhog.”
How do woodchuck’s greet their parents?
With hogs and kisses!
“Should we bring the pet groundhog inside, it’s chilly out there?” a guy asks his wife in the winter.
“But it stinks,” the wife complains.
To which the husband responds, “He’ll get accustomed to it!”
What is the favorite color of a groundhog?
Mahogany!
Why shouldn’t you forget to eat some sausage today?
It is Groundhog Day, after all.
Why was the groundhog depressed about his den?
He was having a bad lair day!
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
Ground-dog Day!
On Groundhog Day what does it mean if the groundhog sees a stupid monster?
You’ll have six more weeks of stupidity!
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband,
“I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.”
“Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and
left for the office.
At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened
the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses.
At 1:00 p.m., a foil-wrapped, two-pound box of her favorite
chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a
designer dress.
The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.
“First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the dress!”
she exclaimed.
“I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!
On Groundhog day, what do you call an apartheid opponent’s ballet skirt?
Tutu’s 2/2 tutu.
Have a better Groundhog Day joke? Post your own Groundhog Day puns in the comment section below!
