60 Funny Hedgehog Jokes And Puns That Are Too Edgy For You

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Jessica Amlee

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A hedgehog is a small, spiny mammal found in Europe, Africa, and Asia. It has a round body, tiny legs, and a face with a snout, small eyes, and small ears. Hedgehogs are known for their ability to roll into a tight ball when threatened, using their spines as a protective barrier. They feed mainly on insects and other small creatures and are popular as pets in many countries.

People crack jokes about hedgehogs because of their unique physical appearance, playful and curious nature, and their popularity as pets and in pop culture. Additionally, the hedgehog’s spiky exterior and tendency to curl into a ball when scared have also made it a popular subject of humor and memes.

Best Hedgehog Jokes

Someone: Can I have a turn in the hedge now?
Hedgehog: No.

Why is Sonic the Hedgehog a Muslim during Ramadan?
Because he’s gotta go fast.

What is the point of a bald hedgehog?
Nothing, they’re pointless.

What is blue, fast, and bad for your teeth?
Sonic the hedgehog.

Will the hedgehog come out?
“Don’t know It’s a unique case… ,” mumbled the proctologist.

What’s the difference between a BMW and a hedgehog?
On a hedgehog the pr*cks are on the outside.

What do you call someone who buys up the garden store’s entire stock of shrubbery?
A hedgehog!

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.

What did the old man say after hedgehogs invaded his garden?

What do you get when a hedgehog and a snake make a child?
Barbed wire.

Why did the hedgehog and the squirrel stop being friends?
The hedgehog was too prickly and the squirrel was too nutty.

What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary?
A hedgehog.

What do you get when you cross a shrubbery with a pig?
A hedgehog.

A hedgehog and a mole robbed a hunter’s cabin. They went in complete darkness because they were afraid of being seen.
Given the circumstances, the mole found more goods, but a Hedgehog wasn’t far behind. He could still see forms and feel things with his hands to some extent. The mole discovered a hunting rifle barrel and, out of curiosity, placed his head inside. At the same moment, a Hedgehog discovered a rifle trigger… and, to cut a long tale short, BANG! A headless Mole lies on the floor, his body tormented with convulsions.
The hedgehog comes to him, grabs his convulsing body, and yells, “You stupid idiot, stop laughing, I think I’ve gone deaf!”

What rodent helps reduce your risk when trading livestock futures?
A hedgehog.

Recommended: Groundhog Jokes

Why does Sonic the Hedgehog have human teeth?
Rule 34.

Who is the most poetic videogame character?
Sonnet the Hedgehog.

What do you call a drunk blue hedgehog?
Gin and sonic.

What do you get when you mix a bush and a motorcycle?
A hedgehog.

How do you stop Sonic the Hedgehog from running?
Elect some other candidate in the primaries.

Everyone was invited to the lion’s birthday party. But, as the king, he ordered that everyone bring him meat as a gift, or else he would smack them with his gigantic dong. Soon after, the day arrived, and all the animals queued up in front of the lion’s cave with their gifts.
The Wolf desired to present the King with a lamb, the Fox with a chicken, the Leopard with an antelope, and so on.
The lion greeted and welcomed all of his visitors to the party. Suddenly, the rabbit appeared in front of him, holding a carrot. All of the guests fell silent.
“You know what this means, right?” said the lion, looking him in the eyes. “I am so-o-o-rrrrry, sire, I-I-I couldn’t locate any me-e-a…” sobbed the rabbit. BAM! The rabbit collapsed on the ground, tears in his eyes. He then rose up and began laughing.
The lion looked at him in confusion and asked, “Are you OK? Why are you laughing?” The rabbit, “Oh, it is nothing, milord, I just remembered that the hedgehog is down the line, bringing you an apple.”

What do you get when you cross a pokemon with a hedgehog?

What does Sonic the Hedgehog wear when he goes to the beach?
A speedo.

What do you call a movie with Sonic the Hedgehog, and Curious George?
2 Fast 2 Curious.

Did you hear about the story when someone shaved a hedgehog?
It was pointless.

What do you call a pig that places multiple bets?
A hedgehog.

Why was the hedgehog told off in class?
He was being too edgy.

A bar was found on a deer. When he discovered a broken restroom window one day, he asked the customers, “Who smashed the window!?”
“I kinda did…” said a hare.
“What do you mean by “kinda”?” inquired the deer.
“Well, I was taking a dump, and once the bear finished his, he took me and tried to wipe his butt, but when he noticed I wasn’t toilet paper, he threw me right out the window,” the hare explains.
The deer fined the bear $500.
When the window was smashed again a few days later, the deer asked, “Who broke the window!?”
“I kinda did…” said a squirrel.
“What do you mean by ‘kinda’?” inquired the deer.
“Well, I was taking a dump, and once the bear finished his, he took me and tried to wipe his butt, but then he noticed I wasn’t toilet paper and threw me right out the window,” the squirrel explained.
The deer fined the bear $1000.
A few days later, the entire toilet was damaged – the fixtures were crushed, the toilet was broken and bloodied, the window was broken, the door was scratched, and so on. So the deer inquired, “Who did all of this!”
The hedgehog replied, “I kinda did…!”

What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?

Why are hedgehogs selfish?
They won’t share any hedges.

What did the angry hedgehog say to his enemy?
“I will quill you.”

What’s a nickname for a Wild Western hedgehog?
Railroad Spikes.

What do you call a Rasta hedgehog?
Da pokie mon.

It is blue, it has spines, it jumps, it has bubbles inside and it tastes bitter, what’s that?
Tonic the Hedgehog.

What’s the difference between a bad horror movie and a good one?
In a bad horror movie, they scare the viewer with beaten glass, burnt corpses, sharp sounds, and suddenly jumping out zombies. And in a good one – a hedgehog quietly crawls into the frame and it can scare the sh** out of you!

What did Sonic the Hedgehog say to the autistic boy?
You’re too slow!

What is black, bad, and use guns?
Shadow the hedgehog.

What is a hedgehog’s favorite restaurant?

How does Sonic the Hedgehog stay in shape?
Intermittent fasting.

While fixing fences on the range, the devoted cowboy misplaced his treasured Bible.
Three weeks later, a hedgehog approached him, holding the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
He grabbed the priceless book from the hedgehog’s mouth, raised his eyes to the heavens, and screamed, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not really,” said the hedgehog. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

Why does Sonic the Hedgehog love chili dogs so much?
They give him the runs.

Two toothpicks are hanging out in a forest.
All of a sudden, they see a hedgehog passing by. So, one of them shrugs and goes like, “Hm, I didn’t even know they had public transportation here.”

Why did the hedgehog get diabetes?
Because his blood sugar spiked!

A father hedgehog is showing his sons how to cross the road.
“If you see a car approaching, get to the middle and curl up in a ball; it will pass right over you,” he adds. He then walks across the road and, when a car approaches, curls up into a ball and lets it pass safely over the top before proceeding to the other side.
He then instructs the older son to cross the street. When the older son sees a car, he curls up into a ball and runs to the other side after it safely passes over him.
He then instructs his younger kid to cross. The younger son walks across the room, sees an automobile, and curls up into a ball, only to be run over.
“What did he do wrong?” the older son asks in shock.
“He didn’t do anything wrong, son. It’s those damn Reliant Robins.”

What is the difference between a porcupine and a hedgehog?
A porcupine is just an emo hedgehog.

What is a prickly pear?
Two hedgehogs!

What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe?
A really long toothbrush!

“What’s the difference between a hedgehog from the United States and one from Africa?” the society matron inquired of the zookeeper.
“The main difference is that the species in the United States has a longer prick.”
As you may expect, this upset the matron, who stormed into the zoo manager’s office.
The zoo manager said, “Ma’am, I apologize for my staff’s unfortunate choice of terms. What the keeper should have said is the United States species has a longer ‘quill’. In fact, their pricks are just about the same size.”

Why couldn’t the hedgehog wash his hair?
Because he’d left his head and shoulders on the road.

What do hedgehogs eat?
Prickled onions!

What did the hedgehog say to the flamingo?

Hedgehogs that don’t eat worms are known as what?
A hedgetarian.

A father and son release a genie, who grants them three wishes.
The father begins to explain, “Son, these wishes are really precious; we must think carefully,” but the son responds immediately, “Give me a hedgehog!” Genie snaps his fingers and a hedgehog appears. The father loses his cool and exclaims, “F**k the hedgehog!”
Suddenly the genie cries in agonizing pain, ” I’ll give you three more if you make this stop!”

What do you name a well-known hedgehog?

What’s worse than an elephant in the china shop?
A hedgehog in the condom factory.

How do hedgehogs reproduce?

Have a better hedgehog joke? Post your own hedgehog puns in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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