Jokes

75 Funny Romantic Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend

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Jessica Amlee

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Romanticism is all about big feelings walking around in small daily moments, like love acting dramatic over tea or getting offended by a late reply. It tells a story where hearts speak louder than logic, and emotions wear crowns, even when they trip on their own shoelaces. Romanticism believes love is serious business, but somehow always ends up being funny without trying, and that is where the smile begins.
Romantic Jokes grow from love taking itself a little too seriously. The stories feel like watching love try to be smooth and accidentally sliding on its own emotions. Romantic Jokes keep the romance alive while gently laughing at how humans turn deep feelings into playful chaos, making love feel warm, silly, and very human at the same time.

Best Romantic Jokes

Some trees are committed to one romantic relationship at a time.
They practice mahagony.


Never get into a romantic relationship with a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.


What is the definition of stalking?
When two people take a long, romantic walk on the beach, but only one of them knows about it.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Honeydew.
(Honeydew who?)
Honeydew you want to go out with me?!


There’s a new goth dating app called Graveyard.
Instead of liking someone, you dig them.


Neil is looking for a fellow arsonist interested in a romantic relationship…
He wants someone who can set his world on fire!


A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
The husband, typically non-romantic, replied, “I am on the toilet. Please advise.”


What’s the most romantic blood-sucking parasite?
It’s a Roman tick!


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Amour.
(Amour who?)
Amour than happy to have met you!


What do you call a romantic dinner in a hot air balloon?
An update.


What’s the most romantic dinosaur?
The diplodokiss.


An older couple was lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep, but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said, “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.”
Wearily, he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later, she said, “Then you used to kiss me.”
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek, and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later, she said, Then you used to bite my neck.”
Angrily, he threw back the bedclothes and got out of bed.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To get my teeth!”


What do you call an ant and a tick on holiday in Rome?
Romantic.


A good romance starts with a foundation of trust and friendship.
A bad romance starts with a rah rah rah-ah-ah, roma roma-ma gaga ooh la la.


What do you call a male chicken with several romantic partners?
A polyamorooster.


Once upon a time, there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. If he didn’t speak for two years, the following year he could speak two words, and so on.
One day, he fell in love with a beautiful lady. He refrained from speaking for two whole years so he could call her “My darling.” But then he wanted to tell her he loved her, so he waited three more years. At the end of these five years, he wanted to ask her to marry him, so he waited another four years.
Finally, as the ninth year of silence ended, he led the lady to the most romantic place in the kingdom and said, “My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?”
And the lady said, “Pardon?”


Where is the line between romance and perversion?
Romance is stroking a woman tenderly with a feather. Perversion is when that feather is still attached to the chicken.


If you see a deaf couple holding hands, maybe it’s not romantic.
Maybe they just want each other to be quiet.


A doctor and an engineer were in love with the same woman!
One day, the doctor gave the woman a rose! She was happy and thought it was very romantic.
Over the next three days, the engineer went to her and gave her an apple. On the third day, the woman asked:
“Why an apple?”
The engineer replied, “Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”


Recommended: Valentine’s Day Dad Jokes


Why is 2 such a romantic number?
Because it’s <3


What do you call a romance between two psych ward patients?
A committed relationship.


Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Ben.
(Ben who?)
Ben over and kiss me!


How can a potential president have romance?
They can go on a candi-date.


A husband and wife are having dinner and sharing a bottle of wine.
The wife says, “Do you know, I don’t think I could live without you.”
The husband replies, “Wow. That’s the most romantic thing you have ever said. But was that you or the wine talking?”
“No,” she says. “That’s me talking to the wine.”


As a romantic gesture, Johnny took an entire convoy of ships to visit his girlfriend. She asked him why,
And he told her love is fleeting.


The fire mage was physically attracted to baked goods.
It was a pie romancer.


A man and wife are in bed.
When the man slides his hand slowly across her shoulders, across her waist, under her neck, under her back, & suddenly stops.
Wife: “( In a romantic voice) Why did you stop?”
Man: “(Whispering) I found the remote. You can go back to sleep.”


Recommended: Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids


Steve wants a girl who likes long romantic walks.
Because he doesn’t have a car or money.


Why can’t physicists get married?
Any romantic matter is relative.


A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on the door, then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room. “What are you doing?!” she asked.
“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law answered.
“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained. “Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained.” It excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can’t get enough of me”.
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch, waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.
“Needs ironing”…


Why are geologists so romantic?
They know the best dating techniques.


Leila says that her husband has been very romantic lately…
.. but she doesn’t understand why he always signs his poems with “regenerate answer”.


A man brings some flowers home to his wife. She’s so surprised by his romantic gesture that she lays back on the dining table, throws her legs in the air, and spreads them.
Her husband, confused, looks down and goes, “What’s that for?”
His wife replies, “For the flowers, of course.”
He thinks for a moment and asks, “Don’t we have a vase?”


Yo mama so fat, she fell in love and broke it.


Many consider Romeo and Juliet a tale of true romantic love.
But only if you consider 2 underage kids in a relationship that lasted 3 days, causing 2 suicides and 3 murders romantic.


Recommended: Best Valentine’s Day Jokes


A lovely Czechoslovakian-born British woman approached a pawnbroker at a local mall.
She said to him in almost perfect English, “Please, I am looking for one night stand.”
Liking her accent, the man closed his shop, and they both went to a bar for a couple of drinks, a nice restaurant, a club with a good floor show, then afterwards headed back to his place for a romantic interlude.
As the sun began to rise the next morning, he smiled sweetly at her sleepy face and said, “So how was that?”
“Was wonderful,” she replied, “But I still have no place to put a bedside lamp.”


Why do soaps make better romantic partners than shampoos?
Their love is unconditioned.


What’s the difference between a flirt and a pervert?
A flirt makes s*xually suggestive comments to someone they are romantically interested in.
While, a pervert does the same thing while being unattractive.


A husband and wife have been at odds with each other over the husband’s endless drinking and stopping out late. To get their marriage back on track, the wife decides to make a romantic French dinner with Snails to start, so she sends her husband out, saying, ‘Right, please can you buy me these snails from town, be back home soon, and, for god’s sake, stay out of the pub!’.
The Husband obliges and, after buying the snails, decides he’s probably okay just to stop by the pub only for a quick drink.
Well, one leads to another, and another and another, and before long it’s well past dinner time. Looking at his watch, he quickly realises he should have been back hours ago, panicking, he dashes home and throws all the snails across the garden path. His wife greets him at the door, looking furious, saying, “Where on earth have you been!?”
To which the husband responds, “Come on, Lads! We’re almost there!”


A romantic relationship is like a fart
If you have to force it, it’s probably sh*t.


What do you call two fossils on a romantic outing?
A carbon date.


An Australian was taking his girlfriend out for a night of passion under the stars.
When she was stung between the legs by a giant hornet. In a panic, he wasn’t sure what to do, so he rang the Australian Emergency Medical Helpline…. “Hello, I’m takin’ me, Shiela out for a romantic night of camping, and she’s just been stung by a hornet on her privates…and it’s all swollen and closed up”…
“Ahhh, bummer mate”, the helpline operator replied. “Oh, cheers, great idea, thanks mate!” Replied Bruce… and put the ‘phone down…..


What do you call a clown that gives you flowers?
A Romantic Jester!


What’s the most romantic place in California?
The bae area.


Recommended: Dirty Valentine’s Day Jokes


A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair and under the table, but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risque and worried that it might offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying to the man: “Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table.”
Man replied, “Naah.. She just arrived in the restaurant..!”


What is the difference between a Romantic and a Horror Movie?
After watching a romantic movie, you look for your teddy to hug. After watching a horror movie, your teddy starts looking at you.


What do you call a lover who’s left the Catholic church?
A popeless romantic.


I left a trail of rose petals from the front door, up the stairs, and to the bedroom.
I sprinkled some more over the bed.
I sat in the corner wearing nothing but her beautiful silk robe with a bottle of vintage wine on ice on the end table.
I heard the door open and her walking up the stairs. I wanted this to be the most romantic evening she’s ever had. I was slightly nervous.
Now all I need is the perfect line to introduce myself.


What’s more romantic than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.


What do you call an archer that feels no s*xual or romantic attraction?
Arrow-ace.


A detective is staking out the entrance of a romantic restaurant, and after a few hours of not seeing the criminals he’s looking for, he gets hungry.
He calls his partner to fill in for five minutes while he grabs some dinner and tells him to “take a picture of every single person that walks through the door.” The partner waits for the detective to return, and when he does, the detective asks to see the photos that he took.
The partner replies, “I didn’t see any single people, I saw a lot of couples though.”


Gloves are so romantic,
They are always holding your hands.


What do you call someone who is in love with a skeleton?
A hopeless nec-romantic.


You know that the honeymoon’s over,
And romance is a dying flower.
When she comes in to take a sh*t.
While you are in the shower.


Recommended: Cupid Jokes


Did you hear about the two romantic maggots?
They were making love in dead earnest.


What sort of dinosaur writes romance novels?
A Brontësaurus.


Mathematics of a relationship,
Wise man + Wise woman = Romance
Wise man + Dumb woman = Affair
Dumb man + Wise woman = Marriage
Dumb man + Dumb woman = Pregnancy.


What do you call when people try to impress their crush who is high?
Romancing the stoned.


What do you call an Italian romance novel model who’s let himself go?
Flabio.


Do you have a romantic joke? Write down your best jokes in the comment section below!

Jessica Amlee, born in 1996 in Laughlin, Nevada, is a delightful humorist and joke writer with a penchant for puns. She studied at Emerson College, earning a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Comedy. Jessica's comedic style combines snappy one-liners and observational humor, making her a rising star in the world of comedy.

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