What are your best Henry Kissinger jokes?

What’s the difference between Richard Nixon and Trump?
Nixon had a problem with Kissinger while Donald had a problem with Grabbing-her.

Henry Kissinger was once asked to explain what shuttle diplomacy was.
– Oh! It is a never-failing old Jewish method. Let me give you an example. Suppose you want to marry Rockefeller’s daughter to a lad from a Siberian village. – How would you do that? – Easy. I go to a Siberian village, find there a young man, and ask him, “Would you like to marry an American Jew?” He says, “Why?! We’ve got awesome girls here!” “Well, but she is the daughter of a billionaire.” He goes: “Oh! This changes things…”
Then I go to Switzerland, walk into a large bank’s board meeting, and ask, “How would you like to have a simple Siberian man to be your bank’s President?” “Oh, hell no!” “What if I told you he was Rockefeller’s son-in-law? “Oh! This changes things…”
So then I go see Rockefeller and ask, “Would you like your daughter to marry a Russian peasant?” “What do you mean?! Everyone in my family is in banking.” “Funny you should mention that he is actually a Swiss bank President.” “Oh! This changes things… Susie, come here, my child. Mr. Kissinger found you a good husband. He is the president of a large Swiss bank.” “Bah! All big bankers are punies or gays!” And I say, “Well, this one is a strong Siberian hunk.” “Oh! This changes things…”

Just woke up, but you know who didn’t?
Henry Kissinger.