What did the vampire doctor say to his patient?
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Stop that coffin.
The joke “What did the vampire doctor say to his patient? Stop that coffin” is a pun that plays on the double meaning of the word “coffin.” In one sense, “coffin” is a reference to the box in which vampires, as part of popular mythology, are often said to sleep. In another sense, the word sounds like “coughing,” which is what a patient might do when they are sick. The humor arises from the vampire doctor using a word that relates to his own undead condition to address a common human ailment.
This won’t hurt a bit… I’ve had centuries of practice!
Open wide, I’m just going to take a little ‘bite’ out of the problem!