The depressed clown, Pagliacci, visits a therapist incognito.
He spends the hour talking about his depression. Nothing seems worth it anymore. He can’t smile at all. He has no wife or girlfriend to share his life with. Children’s smiles don’t make him happy anymore. His loving little dog doesn’t make him happy. He is at the end of his rope.
Therapist: I think I have the answer. You need to laugh. Laughter can be like a magical cure-all. You need to visit the best clown in the world…
Pagliacci: But I….
Therapist: Jiggles! You need to go see Jiggles the Clown. He’s amazing! Literally the funniest man in the world. He can make anyone happy.
Pagliacci: But….
Therapist: Whatever you do, don’t go to Pagliacci. That clown sucks. He couldn’t make a stoner laugh.
Pagliacci: ….
Therapist: Absolute shit clown.

A White man rubs on a genie bottle and the genie comes out and says, “Man, I’ve been in this damn bottle for 300 years, whatever you want, you don’t even have to say it, just think it and it’ll happen.”
The man closes his eyes, Bam Mansion! He closes his eyes again, Bam Filled with beautiful naked women.
And then he closes his eyes a third time. Later, three men in white hoods knock on his door. He answers it, and they take him outside and hang him.
Later, the genie is at the coffee shop talking to all the other genies, and he says to his friends, “Man I don’t get it, the first wish is always the mansion, the second wish is always women, but why on earth would this man like to be hung like a N*gga?”

So this guy is working in the produce department in the grocery store and a lady walks up and says “Excuse me, where’s the broccoli? I can’t seem to find it.” He says, “Oh, I’m terribly sorry, we ran out of broccoli, we will have some first thing tomorrow morning.” So he returns to his work.
A few minutes later the lady comes back and says, “Mister, where’s the broccoli? Do you have any broccoli?” he replies with, “No ma’am we’re fresh out of broccoli, we’ll have some tomorrow morning.” And he returns to his work.
A few minutes later the same woman walks up right into his face and asks, “How come I can’t find any broccoli? Where’s the broccoli?” He says, “Lady, do me a favor will ya? How do you spell ‘cat’, like in ‘catastrophic’?” she replies with ‘C.A.T’. He says “How do you spell ‘dog’ like in ‘dogmatic’?” she says ‘D.O.G’. He says, “How do you ‘f*ck’ like in ‘broccoli’?” A little confused, the woman replies with, “There is no ‘f*ck’ in ‘broccoli’.”
“THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU LADY!”