A pilot crash lands on an uncharted island.
He awakens bound by natives and is dragged to a clearing before the tribe. Next to him is a large tree stump and an absolutely massive native.
The natives are cheering and hooting wildly, until the chieftain holds up his hand, bringing instant silence and rapt attention.
He booms out in a loud voice, “DEATH, OR OOGA-BOOGA?”
The pilot is in no hurry to die, and Ooga-booga sounds harmless enough, so he tentatively replies, “… Ooga-booga?”
The natives absolutely lose their minds, jumping around, playing a cacophony of instruments, and screaming at the top of their lungs. Their chieftain nods in approval, and gestures to the massive native standing next to the pilot.
Suddenly the pilot is seized by a group of natives and quickly tied to the trees-tump, where he is unceremoniously and viciously sodomized by the massive native, to within an inch of his life.
After the terrible ordeal, the crowd’s raving subsides, and the chieftain holds his hand again for silence.
The poor pilot can barely raise his head from the stump to look up at the chieftain, who asks:
“DEATH, OR OOGA-BOOGA?”
The pilot has had enough, robbed of his freedom, and pride, and knowing the same question will simply be asked again of him, he replies, “I choose death…”
A tense silence follows as the chieftain looks down upon him, then around at his subjects.
He rises to his feet, and raises his hands to the sky, declaring in a roaring voice:
“DEATH!!!”
“BY OOGA-BOOGA!”

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
“Miss Whack, I’d like to get a $10000 loan to take a holiday.”
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it’s OK, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, “Sure. I have this,” and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall – bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she’ll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, “There’s a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $10000, and he wants to use this as collateral.”
She holds up the tiny pink elephant.
“I mean, what in the world is this?”
The bank manager looks back at her and says, “It’s a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a Rolling Stone.”