Bison are majestic, hulking creatures that roam the American prairies like furry tanks with a bad hair day. Sure, they may weigh as much as a small car and can run faster than you’d sprint for a Black Friday deal, but there’s something endearing about these behemoths. Perhaps it’s their resemblance to a gruff uncle who’s actually a big softie or the way they could be the living embodiment of a “before” picture in a shampoo commercial. Whatever it is, the Bison is more than just an iconic symbol of the American West; it’s an animal that screams, “Hey, I’ve got a personality here, people!”
Which brings us, of course, to Bison jokes—the snappy one-liners that make even these heavyweight herbivores chuckle (well, if they could). You see, Bison jokes are to humor what the animals themselves are to the prairie: absolutely essential and thoroughly entertaining. These jokes wander through the comedic landscape, grazing on puns and snacking on quick-witted observations.
Ever heard the one about why the Bison never plays cards? Because he’s always afraid of getting a “buffa-low” hand! Or how about why the Bison was kicked out of the movie theater? He couldn’t keep his “moo-th” shut! So whether you’re around a campfire, on a wildlife tour, or just stuck in a really long car ride through the plains, Bison jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh until you’re “hoarse,” or at least until the Bison decide they’ve had enough and amble away.
Best Bison Jokes
What buffalo can exist in two places at once?
Higgs Bison.
Why was the buffalo’s cellphone bill so high?
Roaming charges.
What did the buffalo say to his son on his first day of school?
“Bison.”
What do you call a 200 year old Buffalo?
A bison-tennial.
What’s an absentee father’s favorite meat?
Bison.
What do you call an American bison who goes to the gym?
A buff fellow.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Bison.
(Bison who?)
Bison-bye, see you later!
What did the buffalo say after it was baptized?
“Bye-sin.”
One day, a kid watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed the young one saying that it was a bison burger.
He then left, and never came back.
Did you hear about the man who had a Bison steak at a restaurant?
When he finished, he asked the waiter for the buffalo bill.
What do you call it when a bison borrows money from you?
A buffaloan.
What do you call a bison that is good at telling lies?
Bluffalo.
What do you calll an unshaven bison?
Muffalo.
What did the QANON shaman’s mom say to him when he got arrested?
“Bison.”
A father and son are standing on a hill looking out over a plain. Seeing a pair of animals getting intimate, the son turns to his father and says “Dad, why is that buffalo getting on top of another boy buffalo? Is it gay?”
The father turns to the son to admonish him.
“You shouldn’t be judgemental of another person or animal for their sexuality!”
While he says this, the same buffalo mounts a female.
“Anyway, it’s bison.”
What did the buffalo say to his son when he went to college?
“Bison!”
What do you call a bison with a great poker face?
A Bluffolo.
Why did the bison, the cow, and the swordfish decide to attend the business conference?
They realized they were all steakholders.
What do you call a fit Bison?
A buff-alo.
What’s a deadbeat’s dad’s favorite animal?
Bison.
What’s white and killed all the bison?
Well it wasn’t snow.
What do you call a bison that lives alone?
A buff-alone.
What’s the difference between Yo Momma and a water buffalo?
About 25 pounds.
How do you change that?
Force-feed the buffalo or shave yo momma.
A cowboy and an Indian are riding horseback.
The Indian stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground.
He looks up at the cowboy and says, “Buffalo come.”
The cowboy looks around and then back at the Indian. “How the hell do you know that?”
The Indian replied, “Ear sticky.”
What is the proper name for the ghost of a buffalo?
A booffalo.
What’s the difference between an attorney and a herd of buffalo?
The attorney charges more.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes, and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What if a buffalo and baboon mated?
Their child would be a real buffoon.
Did you hear about the buffalo fossil excavation where they found partially digested mail bags in their stomachs?
It turns out they were stamp eating across the Midwest.
Why wasn’t the hunter allowed to bring his antelope and buffalo with him on the plane?
You’re only allowed one carrion.
What do you get when you cross a water buffalo with a firetruck?
Steamed beef.
What has wings, but can’t fly?
Buffalo Wild Wings.
Why do buffalo wings turn red?
They see the ranch dressing.
Dad: There used to be a flock of buffalo here.
Kid: A herd of buffalo.
Dad: Yes, I’ve herd of buffalo too!
What do you call a male buffalo?
A buffellow.
What do buffalo do when they run out of bread?
They go to the store to bison.
Yo mama so white, she played the buffalo in the movie The White Buffalo.
What did Aang tell the sand benders after they muzzled his flying bison?
You better Appa-logize right now or else!
Why doesn’t Donald Trump like Bison?
Because he thinks they’re just fake gnus!
What religion does buffalo practice?
Roamin’ Catholic.
Recommended: Llama Jokes
What do you call a buffalo with no legs?
A Buffa-Low.
Why can’t chicken and buffalo fly?
Because we eat all their wings.
What’s a farmer’s favorite type of pizza?
A cow pie.
What’s a farmer’s favorite kind of spicy snack?
Buffalo Chips.
What do you get when you cross a buffalo and a hippopotamus?
Your mom.
Do you have a funny bison dad joke? Write down your own bison puns in the comment section below!
At first, the buffalo father insisted his boy was only going through a graze …
… but eventually realized he loved and accepted his bison.
He came out as bi to his religious mother. She went to the Fish and Wildlife Service to ask for help.
She didn’t know how to handle a bison