Beaches aren’t just for sandcastles and seashells; they’re also where grown-ups kick back with sunscreen, cold drinks, and a little too much confidence in their dance moves at beach parties. When the sun goes down, conversations get louder, laughter gets wilder, and suddenly everyone is swapping funny Beach Jokes.
That’s where Dirty Beach Jokes sneak in like seagulls stealing fries. They turn ordinary beach banter into cheeky storytelling, with just enough spice to make adults laugh harder than the crashing waves. It’s that playful mix of sand, sun, and mischief that keeps people hooked on sharing our jokes.

Adult Beach Jokes

How do you find a blind guy at a n*de beach?
It’s not hard.

Why was Sin lying on top of Cos at the beach?
Of course, they were TANning.

Who is the most popular guy at the n*de beach?
The guy that can can carry a dozen donuts and a cup of coffee in each hand.
And who is the most popular woman?
The one who can get the last doughnut.

When my grandfather died, we scattered his remains at sea.
Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn’t cremate him…

You see a woman walking down the beach with her pubic hair protruding from her bikini bottom. What is her occupation?
Chauffeur.

How is Bud Light like s*x on the beach?
They’re both f*cking close to water.

What’s the difference between a n*de beach and a regular beach?
Tanlines.

A guy with no arms and no legs is lying on a beach.
Then this beautiful, v0luptuous blonde comes walking by, sees the crippled guy, and starts pitying him. So she walks up to him and asks him: “Would you like a kiss?”
The guy looks up and says a bit hesitantly, “Um… yes!”
So the woman bends down and the two of them make out for a long while.
Then the woman asks again: “And would you like me to… stroke your balls?”
The guy immediately perks up and says, “Yes, please!”
So the blonde starts stroking his family jewels and within minutes, he gets a hard-on.
The woman smiles and asks, “And have you ever been f*cked?”
Sensing some good times coming, the guy replies: “No!”
The blonde laughs and says, “Well, you will be – the high tide’s coming.”

I have recurring dreams where two adult stars make love on a beach.
They come in waves.

What do CIA officers use to surf when they go on the beach?
The Waterboard.

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A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, “If you were a gentleman, you’d lift your hat.”
He raised an eyebrow and replied, “If you weren’t so ugly, it would lift itself.”

What do making love on the beach and American beer have in common?
Both are f*cking close to water.

What did the man on the beach say to the p*d0phile?
“Get out of my sun!”

This man was in Venice Beach in January, and there was a homeless man with a sign that said “1 dollar for dirty joke.” Seemed like a good investment to him so he gladly handed over a dollar.
Homeless man: “Alright, sir, what’s your name?”
Him: “John”
Homeless man: “So Johnny, there is a black rooster, alright? How many legs does that chicken have?”
Him: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?”
Him: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?”
Him: “Two?”
Homeless man: “Right again, now there is this white cat walking around, how many hairs are on that white cat?”
Him: “I don’t know? A lot?”
Homeless man: “Well, Johnny, why do you know so much about bl@ck c*ck and not enough about white pu$$y.”

What does a pirate say when he spots your mom on the beach?
“Land-h0e!”

What do you call a party on a n*de beach?
A gender reveal party.

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A little girl and her mommy go to the beach.
She looks behind a rock where two dogs are doing the deed and says,” What are they doing, Mommy?”
Mommy says, “They’re.. um.. they’re making cupcakes!” “Oh!” the little girl cried.
Later, they go to the zoo and see monkeys doing the deed. “What are they doing, Mommy?” Mom says, “They’re making cupcakes, Sweetie.” The next morning, while eating breakfast, the little girl says, “You and daddy were making cupcakes on the couch, weren’t you?”
Mom replied, “Now how would you know that?”
The little girl answered, “…cause I licked the icing off the cushion!”

Grief is like m@sturbating at the beach.
It comes in waves.

Did you hear about the female @mputee annual convention at the beach last summer?
The beach was crawling with pu$$y.

Do you have a dirty Beach joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!