Snow in winter is all fun and games until adulthood hit you like a snowball to the face. Suddenly, snow isn’t just fluffy flakes falling from the sky but it’s a slippery driveway, a car that won’t start, and a mountain of wet laundry from those “fun” snowball fights. Amid the chaos, there’s one thing that keeps spirits alive, our Dirty Snow Jokes. Yes, when the cold gets unbearable, a little adult humor is the perfect antidote.
Dirty Snow Jokes add a cheeky twist to winter’s frosty charm, making even the most freezing day feel a little warmer. These jokes thrive on double meanings and playful humor, perfect for adults who are ready to laugh off the stress of snowstorms and icy sidewalks. When life gives you snow, it’s time to throw in a little spice!
Adult Snow Jokes
Why do Native Americans hate snow?
Because it’s white and settles on their land.
Why doesn’t a snowman wear snow pants?
Because his snow balls are too big.
Since it started snowing, all my grandma has done is stare through the window.
If it gets any worse I’ll need to let her back in.
How is making love for the first time like snow?
Everyone talks about it, but it doesn’t always happen. Then when it does happen, you’re never sure how long it will last, or how many inches you’re going to get.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snow women?
Snowballs.
A blonde got caught in a blizzard.
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home.
She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her dad’s advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it. That way she would not get stuck in the snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After quite some time had passed she was somewhat surprised when the snow plow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her dad’s advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard.
The driver replied that it was okay with him and she could continue following if she wanted but he was done with the Walmart parking lot and was going over to the K-mart next.
I like my women like I like my snow.
I don’t know how I like it, I’ve never touched or seen any outside of TV.
Snow isn’t a problem in the Middle East.
But ISIS.
Female meteorologists are calling for 4-6 inches of snow in the area tonight.
Male meteorologists are saying 7-9.
Recommended: Snow Jokes
How do you follow Will Smith in a snowstorm?
You follow the fresh prints.
Why did the snowman take his pants off?
He heard the snow blower was coming.
A woman takes her dog for a walk in the snow.
When she gets home, she sees that his paws are frozen solid, and caked with ice! The next day she takes her dog to the vet, and asks, “Can you shave my dog’s paws so that snow doesn’t get stuck in his fur?” The vet responds, “Shaving isn’t the best option for dog paws, you should go to the drugstore and use some Nair shampoo instead.”
At the drugstore, the woman goes to check out with her bottle of Nair. Upon seeing this, the pharmacist says, “If you’re using this on your legs, be sure not to shave for three days to avoid irritation.” The woman responds, “No, it’s not for my legs” The pharmacist says “Well, if you’re using this on your underarms, don’t use deodorant for three days to avoid irritation there.”
The woman says, “Oh, no, it’s for my Schnauzer.”
The pharmacist responds, “In that case, when you’re done, don’t ride your bike for a while.”
Why should you never date a weatherman?
They always lie about the number of inches(snow or rain) you’ll be getting.
I wish I had the sexual power of snow.
People cancel everything and rearrange their entire lives just for three inches coming fast.
Why did the snowman blush?
Because he caught the snow-woman checking out his carrot!
Why is snow so bad at relationships?
Because it always comes too fast and disappears in the morning.
One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio.
They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” The wife went out and moved her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through.”
So the wife went out and moved her car again. The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park…” Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?” With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, her husband said, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”
Why are friends a lot like the snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear forever.
What did one snowflake say to the other in the storm?
“I’d like to melt all over you.”
What did the snow say during a blizzard?
“I’m about to cover you like you’ve never been covered before.”
Recommended: Dirty Winter Jokes
Three guys are sharing a bed at a sleepover
When they wake up, the first guy says, “I had a weird dream, I dreamt that someone beat my meat.”
The guy on the left says, “Me too!”
The guy in the middle goes, “That’s funny, I dreamt that I was skiing, but the snow was hot and sticky!”
Why don’t snowmen ever get into relationships?
Because they always get cold feet.
What’s a snowman’s favorite pickup line?
“Is it hot in here, or is it just my stick?”
Why did the snow apologize after the storm?
Because it left things wet, messy, and hard to clean up.
The King returns home from a hunt. Suddenly, he notices something shocking in the royal courtyard—someone has written in the snow with urine: “The King is a moron.”
Furious, the King shouts, “Merlin! Come here this instant!”
The court wizard promptly appears. “Yes, Your Majesty?”
The King points to the message in the snow. “Merlin, find out who dared to do this!”
Merlin retrieves his staff, mutters incantations, casts a few spells, and gazes into the flickering flame of a candle. Finally, he says, “Your Majesty, I have identified the culprit. The urine belongs to Albert, your First Minister.”
The King nods grimly and calls his guards. “Guards! Arrest the First Minister at once! And take the Queen, too!”
Merlin, startled, asks, “Your Majesty, why the Queen?”
The King replies, “Because I recognize her handwriting.”
Why did the couple build a snowman together?
Because they needed a third for a little frosty fun.
What’s snow’s favorite kind of foreplay?
A slow, soft melt that gets everyone wet.
What’s snow’s favorite kind of party?
A full-on blow-out where everyone gets buried.
One winter morning, two men were on a walk and were admiring how well their neighbors cleared the snow.
The first man says, “Look at Roger’s house. Those snowbanks at the end of his driveway look like mountains.”
The second man quips, “Kind of like the double-D’s on his old lady eh?”
They continue to the next house and the first man is in awe of what he sees.
“Charlie’s mountains are even bigger, he must’ve plowed the street to get them that big.”
“When your wife is a G-cup you have to go the extra mile.”
They come to the last house and are shocked when they see no snowbanks at all.
Confused, the first man says “Larry’s done a fine job, but what did he do with all the snow?”
“Check the backyard, Larry’s an a$$ man.”
Recommended: Snowman Jokes
Why don’t people trust snow on a date?
Because it always flakes at the last minute.
Why did the snow feel naughty?
Because it loved getting blown all over town.
Two ladies go to the Caribbean on holiday.
They meet a young muscular guy at the hotel bar. After a week of adventurous sex, they ask the young man for his name. He replies, “I’m called Snow.”
The ladies start laughing and said, “Our husbands will never believe us when we tell them we had 10 inches of Snow in the Caribbean.”
Why does snow like to sneak into your pants?
Because it loves the warmth down there.
How are vaginas like snowflakes?
It doesn’t snow where I live.
Why does snow love winter nights?
Because it gets to lie down and feel everyone on top of it.
Recommended: Blizzard Jokes
What’s snow’s biggest fantasy?
To be part of a steamy melt that goes all night long.
Do you have a dirty snow joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!
