Tennis for adults isn’t just about sweating it out on the court. It’s about those heated rallies that somehow turn into gossip sessions, playful trash talk between friends, and sneaky glances when someone bends just a bit too far for a serve. When rackets clash and tennis balls fly, there’s always room for laughter, and that’s where Dirty Tennis Jokes slip right in.
Once the match is over and everyone’s catching their breath, the real fun starts. Friends gather by the net, cracking jokes that would make the umpire blush and the ball kids run for cover. These Dirty Tennis Jokes turn the sport from competitive to downright cheeky, proving that even in tennis, a wicked sense of humor can score the biggest win.

Adult Tennis Jokes

What do Shrek and tennis have in common?
Green balls.

Why do orphans like playing tennis?
It’s the only love they’ll ever get.

What do you call a sh*tty tennis player?
Deuce.

Tennis-playing couples are always v*rgins.
Love means no score.

A priest and a nun are having a tennis match…
The priest is very competitive, but can’t seem to bring his A-game to the nun, who is clearly better. After a volley from the nun, the priest misses and yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”, startling the nun. She let it slip by, and the match continues.
But alas, after a fierce back-hand from the nun, the priest misses and again yells: “Goddamn it! I missed!”
“Stop it”, yells the nun. “You can’t use the Lord’s name in vain like that!”
The priest apologizes. “I’m sorry, sister. I swear to you, if I do it again, may God smite me with all his might.”
“Fair enough,” grumbles the nun. The match continues. It’s going really well, but as fate may have it, the priest misses and slips another “Goddamn it! I missed!”
Suddenly, thick, dark clouds gather in the sky and with roaring thunder, a lightning bolt shoots down to the earth and vaporizes the NUN into ashes…
A thundering voice emits from the skies, “Damn it! I missed!”

What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder?
Endless love.

Why was the medieval knight so bad at tennis?
He was all about courtly love…

What’s the difference between tennis and badminton?
One you play with your balls, one you play with your c*ck.

Recommended: Tennis Jokes

The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
Conclusion: The higher you go in the social power structure the smaller your balls become.

Why did the blonde enter the tennis courts n@ked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.

What’s worse than tennis elbow?
Golf Balls.

It’s no surprise that the Williams sisters always win at tennis.
People of Color have centuries of experience serving.
And appearing at the courts, for that matter.

What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a professional tennis player?
The balls a tennis pro plays with have hair on them.

Venus and Serena Williams were having breakfast.
When Serena says to Venus, “I think Dad’s been putting steroids or something in our cereal”. Venus says, “Why do you think that?”. Serena leans forward and, speaking in a low voice, says, “I’m starting to get hair where I didn’t have any before.”
“Like where??” Venus asks.
“All over my c*ck and balls for a start.”

Whenever we have “no score” at tennis, my girlfriend’s other boyfriend keeps making a “Ting” noise with a musical instrument.
It is a love triangle.

How many Women does it take to play tennis?
You can’t play tennis in the kitchen.

Three new cellmates are contemplating their life sentences in prison.
The first guy pulls out a deck of playing cards and says, “Don’t worry, guys. I brought these cards with me so that we can play poker to pass the time.”
The second guy pulls out a harmonica and says, “I brought this harmonica so that I can play some music to cheer us up when we’re feeling down.”
The third guy pulls out a box of tampons.
“What the hell are we supposed to do with those!?” ask the first two.
“Well, it says on the back that I can ride, swim, ski, and play tennis with these.”

Why do orphans like to play tennis?
Because the ball comes back.

How many people do you need to play tennis?
4 = 1 person + 3 threenis.

A doctor and his wife were playing golf at the local country club.
While on the 1st tee, his wife drove a 300-yard tee shot straight down the fairway. The doctor was amazed and exclaimed, “Wow! I’ve never seen you hit the ball this well before!” His wife replied, “Well, I took lessons.”
A couple of days later, the doctor and his wife were on the tennis court playing mixed doubles. Throughout the entire match, the wife smashed all of her serves and never missed a point. The doctor said, “Wow, I’ve never seen you play tennis so well before!” Again, his wife replied, “Well, I took lessons.”
That night, they settled into a nice dinner at home. The doctor’s wife brought out exotic appetizers, beef wellington cooked to perfection, and baked Alaska for dessert. The doctor said, “Wow, I’ve never seen you cook like this before!” Once again, his wife replied, “Well, I took lessons.”
That night after dinner, she gave him that look, and they went upstairs to their bedroom. After 30 minutes of fierce and passionate lovemaking, the doctor rolled over and gasped, “Wow, that was the best s*x I’ve ever had.”
Before his wife could speak, he added, “I want a divorce.”

My marriage is like a match of tennis.
Backhand after backhand after backhand.

What do Princess Diana and a tennis ball have in common?
Both come to a sudden stop at 140km/h.

Do you have a dirty Tennis joke? Write down your funniest adult jokes in the comment section below!