Tennis is that sport where people smack a fuzzy yellow ball back and forth like it owes them money, all while yelling “Out!” or “Fault!” at random moments. Players dance around the court with fancy footwork, sweatbands that barely soak up anything, and the serious mission of making sure the ball never dares touch the net. After all that running, grunting, and dramatic slow-motion swings, they still manage to keep score in a language only tennis people understand. It’s the perfect setup for some hilarious Tennis Jokes.
These Tennis Jokes bounce around in your head just like the ball on the court. They poke fun at double faults, love scores that don’t feel romantic at all, and players who talk to their rackets as if they’ll answer back. The best part is you don’t even have to be good at tennis to get them — you just need to know that sometimes, the ball goes flying into the stands, and so do our serious thoughts.
Best Tennis Jokes
After winning Wimbledon, Carlos Alcaraz went home and saw both his cars missing.
He will be known as Los Alaz from now on.
Did you hear when Tennis ace Novak Djokovic refused to take the Coronavirus vaccine?
Since then, he is known as Novax Djokovic.
Why do librarians hate tennis?
Too much racket.
50% of Roger Federer’s name is “er”.
Why shouldn’t you date a tennis player?
Because love means nothing to them!
Wimbledon has announced plans to honour Sir Andy Murray with a statue close to Centre Court. The sculpture will show the both sides of the two-time champion: Glorious and British in victory…
And Scottish in defeat.
Inflation is really getting into everything these days. People used to say “anyone for a game of tennis?”
Now it’s “anytwo five a game of elevenis?”
Did you hear about the website for depressed tennis players?
The servers are currently down…
What state describes Venus and Serena Williams?
Tennessee.
Which tennis player has the dirtiest carpets?
NoVac Djokovic.
Wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”
The husband replied, “That’s 15 love…”
Where does a half-man, half- horse play tennis at Wimbledon?
Centaur Court.
Why was the ice cream bad at tennis?
It had a soft serve.
Tennis players don’t need a visa to visit the States.
The US Open.
A tennis ball walks into a restaurant….
A waiter asks, “Have you been served?”
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia on a Mastercard?
Because his Visa didn’t work!
How does a giant female spider return a tennis ball?
Shelobs it.
What do you call a laughing tennis champion?
ROFL Nadal.
Why is there such a high risk of fire at Grand Slam events?
There are just so many matches.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”
“Eight,” the boy replied.
The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”
The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him. He’s my brother. He’s four.”
“Oh, really?” the pharmacist replied with a grin.
“Yes,” the boy said. “We saw on TV that if you use these, you’d be able to swim, play tennis, and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do any of those.”
We play GTA because it let’s us do things we wouldn’t even think about doing in real life…
Like golf, tennis, and yoga.
Why are pyromaniacs so good at tennis?
They’ve played through many matches.
Did you know that if all the capillaries of a human lung were rolled out onto a tennis court…
The game would likely be cancelled.
Why don’t they use cymbals to play tennis?
They make a Terrible Racket!
Olympic tennis gold medalist gets to Australia and goes through customs.
“Have you ever been convicted of a crime?”
“I didn’t know that was still a requirement.”
Why did Cinderella always lose at tennis?
Because her coach was a PUMPKIN.
How many magazines do you need to buy to get a pair of tennis shoes?
Ten issues.
A baseball walks into Wimbledon.
The announcer yells, “Hey, we don’t serve your kind.”
Rafael Nadal’s birthday is a problem for many of his friends.
They could have bought him something, but he returns everything.
Why don’t they call Pickleball what it really is…
…Wiffle Tennis.
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets.
Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, “It’s golf balls.”
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said.
After several minutes, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”
Have you ever played quiet tennis?
It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket.
This wife was devastated when she found out the reason why her husband’s nickname is “The Love Machine”.
It’s because he’s terrible at tennis.
Why should you never ever marry a tennis player?
Love means nothing to them.
The man who invented unisex Tennis has died.
RIP Mick Stubbles.
What was the first mention of tennis in the Bible?
When Joseph served in Pharoah’s court.
Three new cellmates are contemplating their life sentences in prison.
The first guy pulls out a deck of playing cards and says, “Don’t worry, guys. I brought these cards with me so that we can play poker to pass the time.”
The second guy pulls out a harmonica and says, “I brought this harmonica so that I can play some music to cheer us up when we’re feeling down.”
The third guy pulls out a box of tampons.
“What the hell are we supposed to do with those!?” ask the first two.
“Well, it says on the back that I can ride, swim, ski, and play tennis with these.”
My friend just told me that he launched a tennis ball 1600 yards and his dog ran and brought it back.
Sounds a bit far fetched to me.
Why should dog owners invest in tennis balls?
They have a high rate of return.
The girlfriend said to the boyfriend, “I’m leaving you for 29 reasons, and your obsession with tennis.”
The boyfriend replied, “That’s 30, love.”
What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?
Tennish.
What can you serve, but never eat?
A tennis ball.
She: “Do you like playing sports?”
He: “Uh….of course.”
She: “Have you ever played tennis on grass?”
He: “No, but I once played baseball on cocaine.”
Selling all of my old tennis equipment, but I can’t figure out.
What’s the net worth?!
Recommended: Adult Tennis Jokes
Why don’t most people like movies about tennis?
There’s just too much back and forth.
Just got back from my mate’s funeral.
He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.
Did you hear that the Wimbledon mafia was arrested for price fixing of tennis equipment?
They were charged with racketeering.
Girlfriend: “We need to get to the tennis court before it opens.”
Boyfriend: “Why so early?”
Girlfriend: “It’s first come first serve.”
Why did the man decide to buy 9 rackets?
Because tennis too many.
When it comes to tennis puns,
Nadal are created equal.
My dog has a glow-in-the-dark tennis ball
We try not to leave it in the yard on sunny days, because that would lead to glow ball warming.
Neil had a heated argument on who is the best at tennis, and they challenged him.
He replied by saying, “ALRIGHT! I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT!”
Roger Federer was doing an interview.
When the interviewer asked him how he felt about his country’s flag being displayed by so many of his fans in the arena.
He replied, “Well, it’s a big plus.”
Why should you never go to a tennis player for a confidence boost?
They give back handed compliments!
Recommended: Baseball Jokes
Which sports players would work well in the restaurant industry?
Tennis, they serve the best.
I think your tennis stroke is so much better than it was!
That’s a backhand compliment.
Just paid $400 for new tennis gear.
What a racquet!
Why do tennis players have high self-esteem?
They never think they have any faults!
Why do tennis players bounce the ball?
It serves a purpose.
The sweetest thing you can do for your partner is lose a tennis match to them by not scoring a single point.
That’s love.
A middle management executive has to take on some sport, by his doctor’s orders, so he decides to play tennis.
After a couple of weeks, his secretary asks him how he’s doing.
“It’s going fine,” the manager says. “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me, my brain immediately says, ‘To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!”
“Really? What happens then?” the secretary asks.
“Then my body says, ‘Who? Me? You must be kidding!”
When does a British tennis match end?
When it’s Wimble-DONE!
Why aren’t tennis players hungry?
They get two serves.
Recommended: Cricket Jokes
Tennis players are nasty…
They Deuce on the court.
What do a dentist and a tennis coach have in common?
They both use drills!
What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
“See you round!”
Why is tennis such a hard sport to learn?
It’s racquet science.
What did one tennis racket say to another?
“What’s up Wilson?”
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
Tennis.
(Tennis who?)
Tennis-see!
Why are spiders great tennis players?
Cause they have great topspin.
Did ya hear about the drunken tennis player?
He was over served.
Recommended: Rugby Jokes
What was the celebrity tennis player’s favorite city?
Volleywood!
Why is tennis such a loud sport?
Because the players raise a racquet.
What kind of jokes does a tennis shoe tell?
Knot Knot jokes.
Why do fish play tennis so poorly?
They try to avoid getting too close to the net!
Do you have a funny Tennis Joke? Write down your best ones in the comment section below!
Why is Nadal winning the French Open?
Because singles tennis is not a Thiem sport.